Stay

Welcome :)

2009-08-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is. The second home for Stay.

All of the chapters are up and linked over on the side down there; beneath the disclaimer and the summary. Once I get the one-shots and outtakes written, those will be posted too. Until then, for now, it's just the main story.

Enjoy, leave me comments if you so wish and have fun! :)

Don't forget to check out the links I have listed here too. Especially the Spoilt Rotten blog if you haven't already; it's full of wonderful and amazing girls and TSO is the one that convinced me to start this blog to begin with. So go and show them all some love.

<3 Crimson

Epilogue

2009-08-02T16:52:00.003-07:00

*Bella*

"What are you still doing here?"

I looked up, blinking rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, to see the redhead I'd hired three months ago standing in front of me with her hands on her hips and her head tilted to the side.

"Huh?"

"Your man is coming home today!" Leslie laughed, throwing her arms out to her sides and shaking her head incredulously at me. "Get out of here!"

I quickly looked at the clock on the computer screen at my elbow and sat up straight in the chair, my eyes wide.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, shoving the papers covered in numbers from the past month into the right folder and jumping up. "I have to go!"

"Yes, you do. I'll close," she said, quickly rounding the long counter and shooing my hands away. "You go."

I grinned at her and hugged her tightly before grabbing my purse and cell phone and running out of the store with a promise to see her in a few days.

It was the middle of May and Edward was finally coming home from his movie shoot in Canada. I had so many things planned, so many things that I needed to do before he came home and I was already running fifteen minutes late.

I hurried out into the street in the middle of rush hour, quickly dialing in the right number and pressing the phone to my ear as I crossed the street and made my way over to the parking lot.

I'd settled in to California as best as I knew how. I still wasn't used to the attention and driving on the five-lane roads terrified me, but I was adjusting as best I could. Being here for four and a half months or not, it was still taking a hell of a long time to get used to this shit.

I missed Rosalie and Angela more than I thought possible but we had worked out a system for our phone calls. Every Friday night before they went out, they'd get together at Angela's house and I'd call in to talk to them for about an hour. They'd tell me all about what wasn't happening in our little town and kept me updated on the gossip that was apparently running rampant about me and Edward. I missed our Friday nights with a passion.

Emmett had moved out to New York to be with Rosalie in March and Edward had taken up calling to harass him regularly. I found it highly amusing – especially since Emmett hadn't let off of Edward for chasing after me. Rose, however, didn't appreciate any of it. And she wasn't all that fond of Edward still, either. He'd quit being an actor initially, yes, and she was rather peeved that no one had told her about how I'd made him go back until we were in a rousing game of Uno.

She hadn't been very happy about that, either. But between Emmett and myself telling her that no matter how much she bitched about it, it wasn't going to change anything, I think she was finally starting to get it.

Seth called me regularly and always asked when I was going to send him a ticket so that he could come and visit us. Sue was still loving the bookstore and my father was… my father. Nothing much had changed with them and I missed that more than anything.

Edward and I had already made arrangements to go back and visit for the fourth of July weekend and I couldn't wait.

Alice and Jasper had made the move in February and she'd helped me out a lot when it came to finding everything that I could possibly need. She'd even gone so far as to rent two storefronts and say that I could have the other one that she just accidentally happened to purchase at the same time.

Yeah, because Alice Whitlock is someone who does anything accidentally.

But I hadn't had the heart to turn her down when she batted her eyes at me and said that it would be her welcoming gift to me. Plus it was in a really perfect spot. I was now ten times busier than I could've ever imagined being and while my head wasn't anywhere close to being above water when it came to finances, at least I was drawing customers.

Plus, it kept my mind busy while Edward was away.

I visited him as often as I could, but it wasn't easy and we didn't get nearly enough time with each other for understandable reasons. Instead of frustrating the hell out of both of us, we stuck to long ass phone calls as many times a day as we could and I threw myself into the bookstore.

I'd hired four of the best employees I could've ever asked for and let Alice and Tanya drag me out to Rodeo Drive whenever they felt the need.

Which was really fucking often.

Tanya – whom I'd met almost immediately after landing with Edward in January – was a sweetheart. Sure, she had expensive taste and had lived in Hollywood a bit too long, but she had easily accepted me and had kept me entertained when Edward had to catch up on everything he'd missed during his visit to "make things right" with me.

Jeannie had gleefully tortured him with multiple interviews and photo shoots and anything and everything that she could think of that he'd missed. I think she just liked stressing him out as much as he'd stressed her out.

As much as I'd love to tell myself that everything in my life was perfect, it really wasn't. Edward and I argued over stupid shit when we were stressed – like why neither of us had made the bed that morning or why one of us hadn't called when we were supposed to – and we were constantly being photographed or hounded by someone as we left the condo. Edward was splashed on the cover of so many tabloids that claimed he was cheating on me almost weekly that it wasn't even funny anymore. A few months ago, I'd even read that they'd gotten hold of Jessica Stanley for a comment on me and now it was altogether very possible that all of Edward's fans really hated me. I might've had a few on my side before the article came out, but after she told the horribly skewed version of the premiere she attended, I was officially the bitch that was trapping Edward into a relationship. It was absolutely amazing how many times I could be pregnant without looking the part.

It wasn't easy being in this kind of a relationship, but we always knew what was important at the end of the day.

Us.

Even if I forced him to sleep out on the couch or he wouldn't let me apologize to him no matter how long I sat on the other side of the room staring at him and fighting off tears – I may have wanted his forgiveness but I wouldn't force it from him – we were both fully aware of how much we loved each other.

We were no different than any other couple out there in the world and just because he was Edward Cullen didn't mean a damn thing to me. So there were tens of thousands of girls claiming to be in love with him upon first sight and he had to kiss and have sex scenes with actresses ten times prettier than I was, but he still left socks on the floor and he still burned things when he tried to cook.

Most importantly, he still came home to me.

"Alice, are they ready?" I asked, cradling the phone against my shoulder as I shook my keys out of my purse and unlocked my car.

Yes, I had my own car. It was something that I was still getting used to; I missed my truck like one of my arms had been cut off. But since I refused to have anyone cater to me and drive me around to wherever I wanted to go just because of who I was dating and our condo was too far away from the store, Edward had insisted on buying me a brand new car.

A silver Volvo that looked eerily familiar to the rental he'd had while in New York that he used more than I did when he was home. He had a gorgeous car in the parking garage of our building and he chose to use the damn Volvo.

I didn't understand men at all sometimes.

"Yep! They should be at your door when you get home," she chirped. "And you've given me inspiration to make an entire line for this so thanks!"

"As long as these pieces are one-of-a-kind," I stated, flopping down into the seat and throwing my purse into the passenger seat.

"I gave you my word. Now get going; you're late."

She hung up on me and I sighed, rolling my eyes as I jammed the keys into the ignition and slammed the driver side door. I dropped the phone into the passenger seat as well, hastily backing out of my parking spot and pulling out onto the road.

I made it back to the condo in record time, speeding into the parking garage and pulling in next to Edward's Aston Martin before I grabbed my stuff and jumped out of the car. I ran to the elevator and hopped on as the doors immediately opened, leaning back against the wall and blowing out a deep breath.

I always felt anxious and nervous whenever he returned from being away for longer than a few days. He'd had to go to France for some damn thing that Jeannie had roped him in to at the end of February and the store had just opened so going with him wasn't an option. By the time the week had ended, I was almost bouncing off the walls waiting for him to walk through the door.

I hated being away from him for long periods of time. I knew that it was going to happen and I was mostly okay with it. After the first few days without him, though, it started to get really hard. I'd go to work wearing one of his shirts or I'd shower and use the extra bottle of his shampoo I'd bought just for that purpose.

It was insane how much I missed him when he was gone.

And he'd been gone for almost two months this time. The two visits I'd managed hadn't nearly been enough to quench my need.

I practically ran off the elevator when the doors opened, skidding to a halt when I saw the telltale pink and silver striped boxes leaning against the door. Dancing a little, I grabbed them and unlocked the door, slamming my way inside and kicking the door shut behind me.

I put my purse on the small end table near the door and dropped my keys into the bowl on top of it, hugging the boxes to my chest as I flicked the lock and danced into the bedroom. I turned the light on and toed off my shoes, setting the boxes on the bed before shaking the top off of the first one.

I grinned, picking up the midnight blue silk and lace corset to hold it out in front of me. I'd asked Alice to let her imagination run wild with it – which would normally scare the shit out of me on any other occasion – and it had worked to my advantage.

Squirming excitedly, I set it back in the box and grabbed the other one, shaking the top off of that one and pulling out the floor length off-the-shoulder dress of the same color as the corset. Biting my bottom lip, I grinned and held it against me before dancing out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.

I couldn't wait for him to get home.

~*~

I stood in the center of the living room with my bottom lip in my teeth as I heard his key in the door.

The corset and matching thong were surprisingly very comfortable and the dress looked pretty damn good on me. I'd managed to curl my hair without burning myself – as I'd so often done in the past – and had managed to walk around in the heels Alice had buried in the bottom of the dress box without killing myself.

Everything was perfect and he was home.

I held my breath as the door opened and clasped my hands in front of me, watching as he dropped his keys in the bowl with mine and let all of his luggage fall from his shoulders and onto the floor. He was looking down at all of it and I could practically hear him cursing it in his head. He finally shook his head and I watched as he reached up to run his hands through his hair.

"Bella?" he called out, stepping over his luggage.

I bit down on my bottom lip a little harder to keep from calling out to him and had to bounce on the heels of my feet a little to keep from running over to him and throwing myself into his arms.

"Bell—"

He finally looked up and his hands fell from his hair as his eyes met mine across the room. I watched the slow smile spread over his lips and released my lip from my teeth, twisting my hands together.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hi," he said just as softly, his lips twitching to the side.

We stood there, both of us smiling like idiots for a few moments before he crossed the room in three easy steps and had me in his arms and his lips against mine. My hands immediately went to his hair and I opened my mouth to his, pressing myself against him and moaning quietly.

And there it was. That spark, that amazing jolt that I always got when we were reunited to let me know that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. He was my home, he was my life and no matter how far apart we were or how long it took to get us together again, it would always feel like this.

"I missed you," he mumbled, "so fucking much."

"Me too."

He placed his hands on my face, gently tipping my head back so that I could look up at him. I grinned, untangling my hands from his hair and dragging them down his chest, resting on his stomach as his thumbs circled my cheeks.

"You are absolutely gorgeous," he whispered, shaking his head slowly. "And I don't know how the fuck I survived without you for this long."

I reached up and grabbed one of his wrists with my hand, turning my head and placing my lips on his palm.

"It wasn't a piece of cake for me, either," I whispered, placing one more kiss against his palm before turning my head again and leaning my cheek into it. "You're…"

I reached up with my other hand and placed it on his cheek, feeling my eyes water for absolutely no fucking reason.

"Hey, hey, hey," he whispered, leaning down and resting his forehead against mine. "None of that. I'm home, I'm here…"

"Thank God," I breathed, wrapping my arms around his neck and capturing his lips with mine again.

His arms quickly wound around my waist and he pulled me tight against him, his hands splaying out on my back. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I immediately opened my mouth to his, our tongues meeting and twisting together. I felt his hands curling into fists around the back of the dress and smiled, breaking away from him.

"Not that I mind," he breathed, licking his lips, "but why are you so dressed up?"

"I wanted to look nice for you," I said softly, kissing his bottom lip gently. "I missed you."

"Oh, Bella, you have no idea," he whispered, shaking his head and breathing out a laugh.

"Maybe a small one."

"Mm, yeah, okay."

I laughed and stepped up, kissing him again.

"Make love to me, Edward," I whispered against his lips.

He moaned softly, his hands tightening in the fabric at my back before he released me. I reached out a hand to him and he grinned, shaking his head as he placed one arm behind my back and the other underneath my knees, lifting me up. I squealed, laughing and quickly wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face against his throat as he walked towards the bedroom.

And the distance meant nothing. The time apart meant nothing. The tabloids and their skewed visions of what they thought they saw between us meant nothing.

Here, this moment and all the ones that were just like it, meant everything. We were Edward and Bella and we'd managed to overcome everything that had been thrown at us up until this point. We weren't perfect and we never would be, but we were exactly what the other needed and nothing was ever going to get in the way of that.

And that was the way we were always going to stay.

~*~

*Edward*

I leaned against the doorway of our bedroom, my arms crossed over my chest as I watched Bella's body move with each deep breath she took. The light from the hallway behind me was shining directly on her, illuminating her bare back and still curly, messy hair, her pale skin standing out against the black silk of the sheets I wasn't aware I'd owned before tonight. One of her arms was curled underneath her and the other was held out at her side.

I'd been under that arm a few minutes ago. I'd had her gloriously wrapped around me and pressed into me and the rest of the world had simply ceased to exist to me.

I smiled softly, leaning my head against the doorjamb as well and crossing my ankles over each other.

She was still here. She was waiting for me when I came home in a dress – with one of the most amazingly constructed matching corsets underneath it – that made my mouth water because she loves me and missed me just as much as I'd missed her.

The past month without her had been one of the worst I'd ever had to deal with. I'd known that it was going to be hard, but only seeing her twice since March had been something close to torture. And then not being able to really spend much time with her while she was there had me almost begging her to let me quit.

Bella was so much more to me than the career path I'd chosen and I'd gladly throw my hands in the air and be done with all of it if she'd let me. If she wanted to go back to her largely private life in New York, I'd gladly follow her. I'd get a regular job – maybe go back to school to become the doctor my father had always wanted me to be – and I wouldn't regret a single second of it.

I didn't need the glitz and the glamour and the polished sheen I'd had slapped on me every time my presence was requested at a red carpet event. What I needed was Bella in my life and if that meant leaving all of this behind, I'd do it.

But she still wouldn't let me. She said that she was adjusting, she was getting used to how everything worked and she loved the bookstore. She didn't want to leave and she'd reminded me that once this movie was finished, we had plenty of time together until the promotion for the movie needed to start picking up.

Then I was going to fucking get on my hands and knees to beg her to come with me when I needed to fly out of the state for any damn reason. She had an amazing team at the bookstore and they were more than capable of running things for a few days.

Pushing myself off the doorjamb, I padded over to her sleeping form and carefully slid onto the bed, leaning down and pressing light kisses against her perfect shoulder blades.

I leaned over her, bracing each of my hands on the sides of her and began to make a slow trail with my lips down her spine, stopping at the small of her back when I heard her breathing start to get heavier.

"Mm," she mumbled, taking a deep breath.

I smiled, trailing my lips back up and gently kissing the back of her neck once I'd reached it, pushing her hair out of the way and slowly letting my hand drift down the path my lips had.

"Edward," she breathed, slowly turning over onto her back.

I quickly kissed the length of her collarbone, making my way down as my hand trailed lightly over her stomach, making small patterns on her smooth skin and absolutely fucking elated at the way her muscles contracted at my touch.

Her breath caught in her throat as my mouth made its way to her breasts, kissing them thoroughly before I took one of her nipples into my mouth.

"Oh," she whimpered, one of her hands making its way into my hair and curling into a loose fist.

I switched sides, my hand reaching up to cup her other breast as I gently used my teeth on her nipple.

Her back arched and she brought one of her legs up, placing her foot flat on the mattress as her breath continued to accelerate.

I smiled, flicking my thumb over her other nipple and very satisfied when I heard the low moan sound out of her throat.

"Yes," she breathed, her fist getting tighter in my hair before I moved back up to her neck.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered into her ear, slowly climbing on top of her and easily settling in between her legs.

"I love you too," she breathed out, her back falling onto the mattress as her other hand joined the one in my hair.

I ran my hand down her upraised thigh, slowly grinding my hips against hers as she threw her head back into the pillow.

I trailed my fingertips over the back of her thigh, slowly moving my hand in between her legs and listening as she moaned and whimpered underneath me, her hips thrusting up against mine when my fingers danced around her center.

"Please," she whispered, one of her hands trailing from my hair and down my back to rest on the waist band of my boxers. "I need you."

I turned my head, placing soft, slow kisses against her jaw line as I slowly ran one finger up and down.

Her hips bucked into my hand and I smiled, gently nipping at her jaw line as I finally slid two fingers inside of her. She moaned, throwing her head back into the pillow and moving her hips in sync with my hand.

"More," she moaned, her hand pulling at my boxers.

"Patience, love," I whispered into her ear.

"Ran out of that," she breathed, her thumb hooking into the waist band and slowly pulling them down.

I laughed against her neck, moving up and capturing her bottom lip in between mine. Her mouth opened and I quickly met her tongue with mine, speeding up the movement of my hand and gently flicking my thumb against her clit.

She moaned loudly, arching her back as her hips continued to move against my palm. She had one side of my boxers down, abandoning them as she wrapped her arms around my waist and dragged her fingernails down my spine.

I moaned into her mouth, loving the way that she seemed to lose control with me, and shifted my hips against hers. This only elicited another loud moan from her, her fingernails digging into my back as her hips started to move a little faster.

"It's so good to be home," I whispered, pulling away from her and leaning down to rest my forehead on her chest.

Her hands immediately dragged up my back, her fingernails leaving delightfully painful trails until she finally dragged them into my hair and pulled just enough to have me getting impossibly harder against her.

If that was at all possible.

"I never want to be without you again," I whispered, tilting my head to drag my lips across her collarbone again.

I felt her clench around me and moved my hand a little faster, my thumb rubbing over her clit as her back arched off the bed again. Her moans became louder, interrupted only by my name falling off of her lips as I felt her burst around me.

She collapsed back into the bed, her chest heaving and her eyes closed tightly as I moved my hand from in between her legs and grabbed her upraised knee. I quickly slid my boxers down my legs and kicked them off, placing feather light kisses against her chest. Shifting myself just enough, I wrapped one arm around her knee and slowly slid into her, my eyes rolling back in my head at the mere feeling of being inside of her again.

Tight, warm, completely sheathed and fucking happier than hell about it, I was exactly where I always needed to be. I was home; even after all this time and the months apart, Bella was still home to me.

"Oh, Christ," I moaned out, leaning down to bury my head in her hair.

"Don't you dare stop," she breathed out, still gasping for air as she shifted her hips up to mine and moaned.

I slowly started moving my hips with hers, one of my arms still wrapped around her knee as the other anchored me above her.

"Look at me," I breathed, leaning up and moving my hips faster. "Bella, open your eyes and look at me."

Her hips matched my pace and her eyes slowly opened, meeting mine as her mouth fell open in a loud moan.

And there was nothing fucking sexier than having her eyes locked with mine while she did that. I leaned down, my hips working against hers as I fused my mouth to hers and tightened my grip on her knee. I felt her heel digging into my side, looking for purchase somewhere and quickly moved it over my shoulder, bracing my other hand on her other side.

She broke away from me and threw her head back into the pillow, the broken moan sounding out of her throat only driving me to go that much faster.

"Edward," she moaned, one of her hands grabbing onto my shoulder and the other curling into a fist in the bed sheets. "Faster."

I moaned at her words, my eyes rolling back into my head again as I did as she asked, the familiar tightening and coiling starting in the pit of my stomach.

"Bella," I moaned out, crying out hoarsely when I felt her intentionally squeezing her walls around me.

If she kept doing that, there was no way in hell that I'd be lasting as long as I wish I could.

And God knows I never wanted this to end. This was where I always wanted to be.

I threw my head back, grunting and moaning loudly when she started shaking beneath me, her breath sobbing out of her chest as her fingernails continued to dig into my shoulder.

"Look at me," I demanded again. "Bella, look at me."

She tilted her head up, her eyes snapping open and meeting mine once again, her breathing still labored and her lips parted.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, hissing in a breath and reaching up to run my hand down her thigh, gently kneading her skin.

“I-I love you too,” she moaned, her fingernails digging into my shoulder. “Oh, God.”

“Keep your eyes on me,” I demanded, thrusting into her with every word. “I want to see you.”

“I’m almost… Edward, I’m so…”

“Yes,” I whispered, digging my fingertips into her thigh and bunching my fist into the bed sheets by her head. “With me, Bella, come with me.”

I kept my eyes on hers, uncurling my hand from the bed sheets and blindly searching for hers before linking our fingers together and squeezing her hand, raising them above her head.

She started to close her eyes and I increased the tempo of my thrusts, making them sharper and slightly harder until her eyes snapped open to meet mine again.

“On me, Bella,” I breathed. “Your eyes on me.”

“I’m…”

“Yes,” I whispered again, untangling our hands.

I dragged it down her arm, over her shoulder and sides and finally in between us, my thumb easily finding her clit and eagerly rubbing against it.

The sounds that escaped her throat as her hips started to buck against mine caused every little thought in my head to disappear, the coil releasing and bursting forth as I felt her clench down around me, her back arching off the bed and both of our eyes closing.

I collapsed on top of her as her back hit the mattress again, our chests working against each other as we breathed heavily. We were still connected and there was absolutely no way that I wanted to move from her, from this spot, from exactly the way we were right now.

I turned my head into her shoulder as my breathing calmed and placed gentle kisses on her neck and up to her cheek, barely grazing the side of her mouth as she continued to breathe heavily.

“You okay?” I whispered, bringing one hand up to place it on her opposite cheek.

She nodded, turning her head to press her lips against mine. She reached up to place one of her hands on the back of my head and I felt her breathing start to even out again.

“I’m fucking perfect,” she whispered, breaking away for a second before kissing me again.

I laughed, sucking on her bottom lip before propping myself up on my elbows and looking down at her. She smiled lazily up at me, reaching up to frame my face in her hands and run her thumbs down my cheeks.

“I’m so in love with you, Edward Cullen.”

I grinned and I swear that I could feel my heart getting just that much bigger, as if it was going to make just that much more room for her in there.

As if my heart wasn’t completely hers to begin with.

“And I,” I whispered, bending down to kiss her again, “am so in love with you, Isabella Swan.”

“I don't ever want to go that long without seeing you again.” She brushed her nose against mine before kissing me once more. “I don't ever want to leave your side again.”

“Marry me,” I whispered.

My eyes widened and I watched as hers did the same, both of us completely freezing and staring at each other.

Had I really just said that? I hadn’t meant to.

I knew it was going to happen eventually and I knew that one day, I was going to marry this girl.

I just hadn’t anticipated proposing to her while I was still connected with her.

I didn’t even have a ring. I didn’t have a ring and all of the ideas I’d had when I thought of proposing to her hadn’t happened.

No rose petals, no candles, no chocolate dipped strawberries; none of that was present. In fact, I’d just woken her up by practically jumping on her and now, while I was still comfortably inside of her, I’d just proposed marriage to her.

“Bella…”

“Yes,” she breathed.

I blinked at her.

She just said yes.

She said yes.

We were engaged.

We were going to get married.

I was going to spend the rest of my life gloriously tied to this woman in every single possible fucking way.

“Yes,” she said again, her voice stronger. “Yes, Edward, yes!”

I laughed, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and pulling myself down to her, fusing my mouth to hers and rolling us onto our sides.

“You wanna be with me forever?” I whispered against her mouth.

“Longer than that,” she whispered back, her lips curving underneath mine as she tangled her hands in my hair. “So much longer than that.”

I laughed again, running my hands over her back and trying to pull her as close to me as possible.

Not that we could really get that much closer, but it was worth a shot.

“I’m yours, Edward,” she whispered, kissing me again. “I’m completely yours.”

I buried my nose in her neck and kissed her shoulder, thinking that the smile on my face wasn’t going to ever go away.

And I was perfectly okay with that.

“How are we going to tell everybody that this was how it happened?” she asked softly.

I laughed again, shaking my head and looking back up at her.

“We make something up.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked up at me from underneath her lashes before throwing one leg over my hip and pulling me close to her. I moaned breathlessly when her action caused me to move even deeper inside of her.

“Better get on that,” she whispered, rolling on top of me and slowly starting to move her hips back and forth over mine.

I quickly grabbed her hips, throwing my head back into the pillow behind my head and closing my eyes tightly.

And even as we both reached our releases again, all I could think about was how this woman was going to be mine for the rest of my life. I was going to be waking up to her, falling asleep with her and making love to her whenever the hell we both wanted it.

I knew that it wasn't always going to be peaches and cream and it wasn't always going to be the way it was now, but I knew that it would be worth it.

She was my life and she was here to stay.

The End.

Back

Thirty Seven

2009-08-02T16:50:00.000-07:00

*Edward*

"You are a thousand times worse than Jasper could ever even think about being!"

I groaned and turned on my side, reaching out with one arm to find cold sheets next to me instead of the warm little body that should've been there.

"Fuck you," I grumbled. "Where's she?"

"She had errands to run and left me here alone with you."

He plopped onto the bed next to me and I groaned in pain, quickly wiggling my arm out from underneath him and opening one eye to look up at him.

"I hate you."

"Mhmm, I know," he said conversationally, leaning back against the headboard and crossing his arms over his chest. "And like I said, you're worse than Jasper could even aspire to be."

"Where the fuck were you all night anyway?" I grumbled, rolling onto my back and covering my face with my arms. "Bella and I were up until four."

"I don't need to hear about your sexcapades."

Oh, if only that were true.

"You were put on this earth to torment me, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"What do you want?" I whined. "Emmett, I've got a shit ton to do today."

"You are not still in California. You are in New York, patching things up with your woman and really, you have nothing to do today."

"Shouldn't you be packing something?"

"Packing's done."

"What?"

"Yep. Everything that she needed packed is done. She's just tying up all her loose ends or some shit like that."

"Oh."

"I, unlike you, have actual plans," he continued, his voice light and, if I wasn't mistaken, extremely fucking happy.

"What plans do you have? You don't know anyone!"

"I know Rose."

I slowly lowered my arms from my eyes, opening both of them to look up at him and see the shit-eating grin on his face. Like he'd just won the fucking lottery or some shit.

I knew that look.

"Oh my God," I moaned, shaking my head and turning my back to him to pull the pillow over my head. "You two hated each other, I thought. How did this happen?"

"Hey, I saved your ass from the fishing line, bro. Some thanks would be nice."

"Get out of my bed," I groaned, doing my best to smother myself with the pillow.

"I was supposed to wake you up three hours ago."

"Well, I'm up. Now will you get out?"

"Yes, because Rose will be here in about an hour to pick me up and I need to get ready."

"Now who's pathetic?"

I ended up on the floor when Emmett pushed on my back, successfully hitting my head on the buckle from my belt that I'd left on the floor last night.

"Oh I hate you so much," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.

"I know this. We're all doing dinner tonight. Her father and step-mother and Rose and Angela and Ben want to say goodbye to her."

"Okay," I grumbled, still rubbing the back of my head as he peeked over the edge of the bed and grinned down at me. "What?"

"You are beyond whipped."

I glared at him.

"You learn what's important real damn quick when you fuck up," I grumbled, sitting up and resting my elbows on my knees.

"She actually handled it pretty well, you know. She didn't freak out like I figured she would've."

"She's stronger than you give her credit for."

"I'm finding that out." And then his hand was on my head, roughly shoving it back and forth. "Grow some balls, though. Damn. She was still telling me to pack when she got off the phone so she was obviously going back to you."

I roughly shoved his arm away and glared up at him again.

"I didn't hear from her for an entire day, Emmett. I was running out of options."

He sat up, shaking his head as he crawled off the bed and smirked at me.

"You need to have some faith in her, too, man."

With that, he walked out of the room and left me glaring after him. Bella and I had had this discussion last night and I was aware of that. She had every right to be upset that I was the one who immediately thought that she'd blow everything out of proportion and it was something that I promised to work on.

It wasn't easy trying to rid my brain of the natural responses that the other girls had when I'd dated them. Yes, Bella was different in all the right ways, but after an entire year of this happening with most of my relationships, it was really hard to let go of it.

But I'd meant it when I said that the possibility of actually losing her had put everything into perspective for me.

I'd told her that I wasn't doing more than one movie a year and after a lot of arguing about it, she'd finally agreed to it. She'd countered with opening her own bookstore and hiring enough people that she could really trust to run the store so that she could still travel with me when she wanted to even though I half-heartedly insisted that she didn't need to.

She insisted on meeting Tanya, which I wholeheartedly agreed with and I promised to stay as far away from Victoria as possible once Bella had confided that she was uncomfortable around her.

It wasn't such a huge sacrifice to begin with.

We still had a long way to go and we knew that everything was going to be different again once we were back in California, but we felt stronger this time. I'd felt connected and tied to her before, but after last night, it was all so much more.

We'd gotten everything out in the open and even though we might not have liked certain points of the entire conversation, at least we were fully aware of how we each felt about everything.

She didn’t like the crowds and wasn't sure she could ever really get used to them. I didn't like how she downplayed everything she felt when she knew it would hurt my feelings.

They were small things, but now we both knew everything. They were things that we could work on over time and we could do it together.

"Edward?" I heard her voice float through the doorway and immediately looked over the bed.

She was standing in the doorway, one hand running through her hair and the other on her hip as she looked around the room. She was wearing a simple white t-shirt and a pair of old torn jeans, but she looked perfect.

"Bella," I breathed, grabbing onto the edge of the mattress and pulling myself up.

Yeah, all right, I spent all of last night and a good portion of this morning with her, but I'd woken up without her. And hell, every time I saw her, it was like a weight had been lifted off of my chest and I was… well, whole again.

She smiled over at me, tilting her head before walking over and draping her arms over my shoulders.

"Why were you on the floor?"

"Emmett," I grumbled, grabbing her around the waist and hugging her tightly.

She laughed softly and buried her face in my chest, her arms tight around my neck.

"My house is up for sale," she said quietly, resting her cheek on my chest and absently trailing her fingertips up and down my spine.

"Is that a good thing?"

She nodded, backing away to look up at me and smile.

"It's a very good thing."

I leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Sue and my dad are going to take my truck tonight after dinner so that nothing happens to it," she continued when I pulled back from her, "and Angela said she'd check on the house if you wanted her to. Just to make sure that everything is okay while we're gone."

"It probably wouldn't be a bad idea, huh?"

She shook her head and I reached up to brush hair off of her forehead before placing a small kiss there.

"What about the things you had left in your house? What did you do with them?"

"There's a thrift store down the road." She shrugged a shoulder and stood up on her toes to kiss the bottom of my chin. "They were more than happy to take a chair and my television."

"When did you have plans of flying out?" I asked softly.

"I made arrangements this morning for us to leave on the twelfth. Rose and Angela want me to go out on Friday and I'll need a few days to recover from that."

I nodded, already mentally trying to figure out what it is that I could do for an entire night. She deserved to have one more night out with her girlfriends before she disappeared to California with me.

"You're coming with us," she whispered, leaning up to kiss me softly.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, smiling at me.

"It's the last chance we'll all get to be together on a Friday night. You've gotta come with us."

"All right."

She smiled and kissed me again, her eyes shining brightly up at me as she bounced up on her toes a few times. I laughed and shook my head at her before sucking in a deep breath and briefly pressing my lips together.

"I know that you've answered this already, but Bella, are you sure?"

She reached in between us to grab the sides of my face, bringing my head down so that we were nose-to-nose.

"I want to start our life together, Edward," she said softly, "and I want to do it as soon as possible."

I slid my hands down her sides, grabbing onto the back of her thighs and lifting her up. She quickly wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck, our eyes locked the entire time as we moved and shifted.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, leaning forward and brushing my lips against hers.

"I love you too."

We'd said it more times than I could possibly imagine in the past twenty-four hours and every time, I still got a small thrill running down my spine from it.

"Shower with me?"

She smiled and nodded, kissing me softly.

"I already took one this morning but I guess I can never be too clean."

I laughed and kissed her again, carefully starting to walk towards the bedroom door with her in my arms and my lips on hers.

As long as I didn't run us into the wall, we were good.

"Oh, seriously?" Emmett screeched from the bottom of the stairs as I walked us into the hallway. "At least wait until I'm out of the house!"

"My house," I managed before walking into the bathroom. "Do what I want."

Bella laughed and reached out, slamming the door behind us.

Oh yes. This was a damn good way to start out the day.

~*~

Bella pulled up to the huge pale yellow mansion set back off of the road a few hours later and I gaped up at it, completely awestruck that something like this existed in Lake George, New York.

It had to be at least three stories high with a wrap around balcony on the second floor, long windows extending from the bottom floor to the second with crystal chandeliers clearly visible through them. I could see Rosalie and Emmett in the living room, wrapped up in each other and probably still arguing with each other because he was literally squirming in her arms.

He was gone by the time Bella and I had gotten out of the shower and since we'd only been wrapped up in one very large towel, it was probably a hell of a lot better that way.

"She lives here alone?" I managed, looking wide-eyed over at Bella.

She laughed and nodded, shrugging as she turned the truck off and opened her door.

"Rose likes the finer things in life."

"Well then I have absolutely no idea what the hell she sees in Emmett," I grumbled as I opened my door and stepped onto the snowy driveway.

It had started snowing when Bella and I had been in the shower earlier and while the news had said that we weren't expecting any big snow storms anytime soon, the ground was already covered in a thin blanket of it. I didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it got any worse out.

Bella laughed and rounded the front of the truck, coming up next to me and linking her fingers with mine as she led me up the walk and towards the intricately detailed front door.

"I honestly didn't think they'd even get to this point. You should've heard them, Edward, I swear to you," she laughed again, shaking her head. "They made me want to swear off children."

I looked over at her, raising an eyebrow as I quickly shook my hand from hers and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"You still feel that way?"

She smiled and shook her head, standing up on her toes to kiss me quickly.

"No."

"Good," I mumbled, kissing her again. "Because I want babies and I want babies with you."

"When the time's right."

I nodded and smiled, backing away from her to brush the end of my nose against hers.

"Not tomorrow."

She laughed again and shook her head, kissing me once more before placing her hand on the doorknob and twisting.

"Not tomorrow."

I followed her into the open room and followed her lead as she toed off her shoes and hung up her coat on the rack beside the door. They were clearly oblivious to our arrival and when I heard Emmett moan, I closed my eyes tightly.

"Please, dear God," I whispered, looking up at the ceiling.

Bella looked behind her and pressed her lips together in an attempt not to laugh before reaching out and grabbing my hand in hers.

"Hi guys!" she shouted, leading us further into the room.

They both jumped and stopped attacking each other but didn't move from the other's arms. Rosalie looked annoyed, glaring at me while Emmett just looked like an idiot.

A happy idiot, but an idiot with a comically large grin on his face despite the situation.

"I see all was forgiven," Rose said coolly, finally stepping away from Emmett to incline her head regally in my direction.

I inwardly sighed and squeezed Bella's hand, watching as Emmett made himself very comfortable on one of the cream colored couches behind him.

"Don't you dare start," Bella said quietly, pointing to her with her free hand. "It was a misunderstanding."

She sniffed before turning on her heel and storming into the kitchen. Sighing, Bella shook her head and stepped up on her toes to kiss my cheek gently.

"I tried telling her, Bella," Emmett said casually, draping one arm over the back of the couch and shrugging his shoulders. "But she wouldn't listen to me."

"She's never listened to you, Emmett," she sighed, shaking her head again. "Why would she start now?"

"You don't wanna know."

He wiggled his eyebrows and I felt the shiver pass through Bella and into me before she kissed my cheek again and disappeared after Rosalie.

Shaking my head, I slowly made my way towards Emmett, sitting down on the couch next to him and looking around suspiciously for anything resembling a spool of fishing line.

"You're safe. I made her promise that she wouldn't try to kill you tonight. Threatening you, however, is completely allowed."

I glared over at him and he shrugged innocently, grinning.

"It was the most I could do."

"Which also means that it was probably the very least that you could do, right?"

"She's very persuasive!"

"Mhmm," I mumbled, smirking and shaking my head as I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes. "I'm sure she is."

"Enjoy your shower?"

"Very much, thank you."

"You can't really still be tired, Edward."

"You weren't woken up by an annoying older brother comparing you to your brother-in-law, were you?"

"I can't wait to tell everyone about this."

I heard him clap his hands and rub them together and I rolled my eyes, opening them and leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees.

"I did what needed to be done," I finally said quietly, sparing him a glance. "And it worked out for the best."

"You're still so beyond whipped that I'm gonna be talking about this for years to come."

I reached up and rubbed my forehead with my fingertips, shaking my head and sighing heavily.

"I really hate you."

"Yeah, I'm used to that."

We both looked up when the front door opened and I tensed even more – if at all possible – when I saw Angela and Ben walk in, snow in their hair and laughter on their lips.

If Rose hated me, I didn't even want to think about what Angela thought of me right now. Sure, she offered to check on the house while we were gone, but it was probably just in favor to Bella. I hadn't heard much of her side since arriving, but I could only imagine that she would be about as happy to see me as Rosalie was.

"Ben! Dude!" Emmett exclaimed, jumping off the couch and walking over to them.

I didn't know how they knew each other already, and shook my head to clear it. That wasn't something that I was really all that concerned about at the moment.

I swallowed hard and wiped my suddenly sweaty palms off on my jeans before standing up.

"Rose, it was a damn misunderstanding and nothing happened! Stop this!" I heard Bella yell from the kitchen.

I heard Emmett and Ben talking about something involving sports as they continued to stand in the doorway and I looked down at my feet, not willing to look over at Angela to see the purely disgusted look on her face.

Maybe I should've stayed home. This was for Bella and I didn't even ask if I was included in all of this. I could've made a few calls that needed to be taken care of before we went back to California. Or, hell, I could've called my mother. Anyone, really. I even would've called Jeannie back to listen to her scream at me for my dumb ass running off on her if it meant that I didn't have to be the ass who ruined a goodbye dinner for my girlfriend.

"Hey."

I jumped and looked over to see Angela standing next to me. I swallowed hard and offered her what I hoped was a smile.

"Hey."

"You all right?"

I looked over her head when I heard something slam in the kitchen and sucked in a deep breath.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Angela," I said quietly.

She placed a hand on my arm, rubbing up and down as she smiled softly and nodded.

"Rose likes to make things worse than they are, Edward. She'll get over it."

I nodded and licked my lips.

"She's a little bitter about Bella leaving, but she knows that it's what's best for her. I really hope you weren't expecting an easy road when it came to her."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"She's happy." Angela nodded and smiled again, squeezing my arm before dropping her hand. "And that's all I'd ever want for her."

I quickly wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

"Shit, Bella, look at this!" Rosalie exclaimed.

Of course she'd walk in right at this very moment. Why would I expect anything differently?

I sighed heavily and backed away from Angela, reaching up and running my hands through my hair as I stared down at my feet again. I should've just stayed home.

"Are you being serious, Rosalie?" Bella seethed. "It's Ang!"

"And he's all…"

"He's thanking me for not being a massive bitch," Angela said easily and I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she smiled innocently at Rose. "No harm done."

"I don't understand you!" Rosalie exclaimed and I looked over at her to see her throwing her hands in the air. "There were pictures…"

"Of him walking down the damn street, Rose! It's not like they caught him making out with her!" Bella exclaimed, reaching up with one hand to rub her forehead. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"I just don't get it!"

"I didn't do anything!" I exploded, throwing my hands out at my sides and finally turning to face her. "I spent the night with a friend!"

I'd had enough. This was bullshit. She was accusing me of something that didn't even concern her and she was trying to make Bella see her side. I did not travel all this damn way to find out that Bella really was the perfect fucking woman for me just to have it turned around on me by Rosalie.

This was my future she was trying to destroy and I wasn't going to deal with it anymore.

As if the media and paparazzi weren't enough to make it a big damn deal to begin with, now I had to contend with Bella's best friend about all the doubts that she had? I wasn't dating her, thank God, I was dating Bella. And Bella was the only one that had had enough faith in us not to freak out on me like she said she wouldn't.

"An ex-girlfriend!"

"Who spent the whole damn night talking about some other guy's ass! You weren't there; you don't know what the hell happened so you have no right to make any kind of accusations!"

"You're an actor! You can baffle her in bullshit and she won't know the difference until someone shows up on your doorstep claiming to be pregnant with your child!"

"Rose, come on," I heard Emmett say from behind me.

"I flew all the way over here and quit my fucking job for her! Why the hell would I even think about someone else?"

"You quit?" everyone but Bella and Emmett echoed.

I kept staring at Rosalie, my blood close to boiling and my hands clenched into tight fists as I swallowed hard.

"Yes, I fucking quit because it wasn't worth losing her over it! If my job cost me the best thing that's ever happened to me then I wanted no part in it! So don't fucking tell me that I'm just an actor," I sneered at her.

"I didn't…" she started and I vaguely registered that she didn’t look as pissed off anymore.

It didn't matter to me right at the moment, of course, because she'd done a really good job at pissing me off.

Fuck, I don't know how Bella – and now, my poor brother – put up with her.

"No, you didn't know because you didn't even give me the fucking chance to explain anything," I seethed. "You just assumed that I was the asshole that thought I could actually do something like that to her."

"Edward, I'm…"

"I really don't want to hear it," I grumbled, turning on my heel and starting towards the front door.

I bypassed a rather shocked looking Ben and Emmett and barely resisted the urge to turn around and punch whoever it was that grabbed my wrist before I was able to make it to the front door.

Spinning around, I relaxed minutely when I saw Bella with her bottom lip in between her teeth and a slightly scared expression on her face.

"Come on," she said quietly, her voice shaking slightly as she tugged on my hand.

Guilt creeping into my chest as she turned and hooked her hand in mine, I followed her back through the living room and down a hallway that led to a staircase. We were both quiet as we walked up them and then down another hallway. I continued to follow her as we made it to a set of sliding glass doors and out onto the balcony I'd seen from the front. She pulled me out and closed the doors behind us as I walked to the railing and leaned against it.

It was still snowing and freezing and here we were, out on the balcony in nothing but our sweaters and my diminishing temper.

I closed my eyes tightly when she stood off the side.

Great. Scare her off, why don't you? Christ, I'm an idiot sometimes.

"Bella, I’m sorry," I said softly.

I heard her footsteps crunching on the snow and swallowed hard when I felt her hand on my back.

"Don't be," she whispered back, resting her head against my shoulder.

I quickly turned and wrapped her tightly in my arms, burying my head into her neck and tangling one of my hands in the ends of her hair.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"I thought you were gonna hit me," she laughed into my chest, burying her nose into my shirt.

I swallowed hard and shook my head fiercely, fisting my hand in her hair.

"I'm sorry."

"You really need to stop apologizing for things that you didn't do," she said softly as she tilted her head and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Well, I'm sorry for yelling at Rose, then," I said quietly, reaching up with my other hand to cradle the back of her head.

"Don't be sorry for that either," she laughed, pressing a small kiss against my ear. "That was pretty fucking hot."

I forced out a laugh and squeezed her tightly, taking a deep, shaky breath.

"This isn't turning out to be such a good night, is it?"

"It'll get better," she said confidently, nodding and kissing my ear again. "Just calm down a little and we'll go back in."

"Maybe I should've stayed home."

"If you stayed home, I stayed home."

"This is your dinner."

She shrugged and I smiled, shaking my head and taking a deep breath.

"You're here and I go where you are. So if you hadn't come tonight, then I wouldn't have either."

I huffed out a breath and shifted her in my arms, quickly capturing her lips with mine and curling my fingers into her hair. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I pulled her against me, tilting my head and kissing her more forcefully.

I pulled away when I felt her shiver in my arms and rested my forehead against hers, slowly opening my eyes.

"I really do love you so much, Bella."

She stepped up and kissed my bottom lip softly before stepping back down and cupping her hands around the back of my neck.

"Ditto."

I laughed and shook my head, kissing her one more time before standing up straight and sighing.

"I guess we should…"

I looked over at the door and trailed off when I saw Rose standing on the other side, her hands crossed in front of her and her eyes pleading as they met mine. Bella craned her neck around to find out what had stopped me and I watched as Rose held her hands up in surrender.

Bella turned back to me, dragging her hands down from my neck to rest on my chest.

"Let her talk?"

I looked down at her and ground my teeth together, nodding stiffly at her.

"Go inside," I said softly, relaxing my jaw and leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You can't kill her."

"I won't."

But I smirked at the thought. Maybe just a little strangulation… that really wouldn't be all that terrible would it?

"I mean it!"

"I promise," I laughed.

She huffed a little and smirked at me, shaking her head before stepping up to kiss me softly. She turned back towards the door and slid it open.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Rose said quickly. "I'm just…"

Bella merely nodded and reached out to grab Rose's wrist in her hand.

"I'm not the one you really need to apologize to."

With that, she slipped by Rose and walked inside, leaning back against the opposite wall and wrapping her arms around herself. I watched as Rose took a deep breath and stepped outside, sliding the door closed behind her. She turned completely towards me, her hands tangled around each other and her eyes darting from the floor of the balcony to my face.

I raised an eyebrow at her, crossing my arms over my chest and waiting as patiently as I could.

And it really wasn't fucking easy, either. My patience with her ran out about the time she accused me of cheating on Bella with Angela of all fucking people.

"I didn't know," she started. "And I don't ask before I accuse most of the time. Bella's like my sister and you're… were an actor. It's like an instinct to protect her from you."

"She doesn't need protection," I ground out through my teeth. "She's strong enough on her own."

"I know that," she snapped, dropping her hands. "You have a sister. How'd you feel when she met her husband?"

All right, she had a point. I'd immediately disliked Jasper upon first sight. He was too blonde, too much of a smart ass, doted on Alice too damn much. She needed someone who was going to put her in her place when it was called for; not someone who was going to bow down and kiss her feet each time she walked in the room. But he balanced out her excitable side and it was obvious to everyone within a six mile radius that he loved her. And I really couldn't argue with something like that.

I nodded my acknowledgement and watched her force herself to relax.

"I know she loves you and you obviously love her more than I gave you credit for." I could almost hear her swallow her pride as she said, "I'm sorry."

I nodded again, letting my arms drop to my sides and hooking my thumbs into my jean pockets.

"Thank you."

She nodded before quickly turning on her heel and sliding the door open again.

And I wanted to throw myself off the balcony when I saw Charlie standing next to Bella in the hallway.

I definitely should've stayed home.

"Edward," he greeted, nodding his head at me. "Mind if we have a few words?"

Sure. What the fuck. I'll just stay out here for the rest of the night and freeze my ass off while everyone airs their personal opinion of what I didn't do that was so incredibly wrong.

"No, sir," I mumbled, my shoulders falling as I leaned back against the railing and stared down at my feet.

He stepped out onto the balcony and I looked up when he held out his hand and offered my jacket to me.

Fuck, he'd had this planned. And it was going to take a while if he was handing me my coat.

"Thanks," I said as I took it from him and quickly slung it over my shoulders.

I looked up as he slid the door closed to see Bella still standing against the wall, a small and what was probably meant to be encouraging smile on her face.

It terrified me.

"I want you to know that I'm not happy about this," he stated gruffly, looking out at Rose's snowy backyard. "Bella moving out to California is probably one of my worst nightmares."

"I'm gonna make sure that nothing happens to her, sir."

"If I didn't believe that, Bella would be in a jail cell in Albany where you couldn't get to her, Edward." I twisted my lips to the side and watched as he huffed out a deep breath. "But you seem to make her pretty happy so…"

He turned to me then and I held my breath, gripping tightly onto the railing of the balcony in preparation… just in case he shoved me off and made the decision a hell of a lot easier for Bella.

"Take care of her or I will hunt you down."

And with that, he turned and opened the door, walking back into the house and out of my sight. I started breathing again, gaping at the spot he'd just been standing in as I lightened my hold on the railing and closed my eyes tightly.

I flinched when I heard another set of footsteps crunching in the snow and held my breath again.

I couldn't take much more of this.

"Breathe, please," I heard Bella's soft voice say from in front of me.

My eyes popped open and I quickly grabbed her shoulders, pulling her against me and burying my face into her neck as she laughed and wound her arms around me inside of the jacket.

"Is anyone else going to verbally attack me tonight?" I grumbled.

"No," she said quietly, still laughing as she rubbed her hands up and down my back. She tilted her head and kissed my neck. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"You ready to go back inside? I think dinner's almost done and Seth has been yelling for me to get downstairs since they showed up."

I stood up straight, raising an eyebrow as I looked down at her.

"Who's Seth?"

"My step brother," she smiled, moving her arms from my jacket to reach up and frame my face with her hands. "No one to worry about."

I huffed and leaned down to kiss her once again.

"No one is safe anymore," I mumbled against her lips.

"I'm safe," she mumbled back, her hands slowly threading back through my hair. "And you're safe."

I smiled, sucking her bottom lip into my mouth and tracing it with my tongue.

"And that's all we really need to know," I whispered, breaking away from her momentarily.

"Mhmm," she hummed, sliding her tongue in between my lips and effectively cutting off any further conversation between us.

"Really? On the balcony? In the snow? Bella, you don't even have a damn coat on!" Emmett exclaimed.

I groaned and pulled away from her, closing my eyes and resting my forehead against hers.

"I hate you," I breathed.

"Yes, I'm aware of this. But dinner's done and Seth's talking about Uno later so… move it!"

Bella laughed, kissing me once before moving her hands from my hair and grabbing one of mine.

"You've got me for the rest of your life, Cullen," she smirked as she pulled me back into the house. "Give everyone else a night."

And with those words, the night was immediately just… perfect. I hadn't been verbally assaulted by Rosalie when I walked in the house, her father hadn't threatened me if I didn't make her happy and Emmett hadn't interrupted a kiss that had the potential to melt away ten different kinds of stress.

Because right now – this moment right now – was the official start of my life with Bella.

And there wasn't a damn thing that anyone else could say or do that would make this feeling – this feeling of being home and complete – go away.

Back or Last

Thirty Six

2009-08-02T16:48:00.001-07:00

*Bella*

*Chapter Song - Breathe In Breathe Out*

"What the hell is wrong with you, woman? You can't just go barging into other people's houses!"

I groaned, turning onto my side and grabbing the extra pillow next to me, clapping it over my head as I heard Emmett's booming, scratchy voice float up the stairs.

"Well maybe you shouldn't sleep naked!"

Oh Good Christ. I was going to kill the both of them.

Emmett and I had been here for a grand total of one damn day and when I wasn't up to my elbows in interviews, paperwork, boxes and trying to figure out what the hell to do with the shit still residing in my cabin, I was trying to mediate screaming matches between him and Rose. I'd had to call Angela and cancel dinner for the night, promising her that we'd all get together before I left and had made myself be satisfied with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. I hadn't had time to eat much of anything else.

For fuck's sake, I hadn't even been able to call Edward back and I missed him like fucking crazy. I'd been on the go – partially afraid that I'd fall asleep on my feet if I didn't keep moving – the minute the alarm went off that morning and hadn't had a chance to call him like I said I would. And when I did finally hear from him, he'd called at the worst possible time. I was in the middle of an interview, there was a line at the cash register that stretched almost all the way to the door and to top it all off, the toilet in the upstairs bathroom had magically broken.

Right after the supposedly innocent Emmett had gotten done with it.

I was never bringing him anywhere with me ever again. Once I got to California, I was hiding from him if he ever decided to visit. This was absolute madness. He'd wanted to come visit me at work, claiming that I hadn't given him any specific instructions on what needed to be packed and that he was bored sitting by himself. I'd finally gotten him to leave after a few hours when I had the chance to write down an extremely detailed list of what I needed or wanted him to pack into boxes for me.

So by the time I'd been able to get a plumber out there to fix the toilet, it was nearing nine at night and I was exhausted. I'd barely been able to navigate my truck up the road and into the driveway while keeping my eyes completely open. I'd trudged into the house only to hear Rosalie's voice raised in a high pitched tone that clearly indicated that she was probably looking around for something to throw at him.

I'd spent another two hours convincing her that Emmett didn't mean any harm by asking her if she wanted to learn to play baseball the right way.

I don't understand why Emmett had let her in to begin with if all they'd been doing is arguing with each other, but really hadn't had the energy to ask after grabbing the knife block from Rosalie's hands and dragging her upstairs and into the bedroom to see what she wanted.

They were worse than children. And I sure as hell hoped that Edward didn't want any kids because the two of them had officially convinced me that I never wanted them.

"Well, it hasn't been an issue until now!"

"You're sleeping in the fucking living room! How has this not been an issue before?"

"I always hear Bella when she gets up! Christ, woman, would you go away so that I can get dressed?"

"Stop calling me woman! I have a name!"

"Yeah, and it should be Pain in the Ass!"

Groaning again and rolling out of bed, I snatched the robe I'd found in Edward's closet and slung it over my shoulders, breathing in the faint scent of him before padding down the stairs, scratching the back of my head and sighing heavily.

"Rose," I grumbled as I reached the bottom of the stairs, peeking my head into the living room.

Emmett thankfully had a blanket wrapped tightly around his waist as he sat glaring at Rosalie from the couch and I relaxed, stepping into the room and raising an eyebrow at her. While I was thankful for his presence – mostly – I had no desire to see him naked.

"It's way too early for the two of you," I sighed, running a hand through my hair before wrapping both of my arms around my waist.

Hell, my alarm hadn't even gone off yet. Looking at the clock on the DVD player, I suppressed a groan when the neon green numbers told me it was only a little after six in the morning. I had half an hour more before I needed to actually be up and I didn't even want to think about everything that was waiting for me at the store.

"Well, I was on the treadmill this morning before having to get ready for work, innocently watching some entertaining television when I saw this," she started, still glaring at Emmett as she walked over to me and shoved a blank DVD in my face.

Blinking, I snatched the DVD from her and turned on the television and DVD player, shaking my head when I could almost feel the two of them glaring at each other behind my back.

"Couldn’t just tell me what it is, could you?" I grumbled, stepping back and sticking my hands into the pockets of the robe once it was loading.

"You wouldn't believe me anyway! I need some fishing line…"

I stilled all movement I was making and slowly looked over at her, swallowing hard. My heart picked up speed as she kept her eyes glued to the television screen, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Why?"

She merely stepped up to the DVD player and pushed the play button before stepping to the side and crossing her arms over her chest again.

"What the fuck do you need fishing line for? I can't imagine you fishing," Emmett grumbled.

"I don't fish," she said tightly, glaring over at him again.

"…and in other news, Edward Cullen is back in California and is wasting no time in getting reacquainted with some of his old friends."

My head snapped back to the television when I heard the woman's voice float through the screen, innuendo and amusement laced in her words.

"He was spotted leaving a popular, low-key nightclub in LA last night, arm-in-arm with Tanya Holden."

A video of the two of them flashed up on the screen and I gritted my teeth, watching as they walked up a steep hill together. They were arm-in-arm, just as the announcer had said, and were walking close, their heads bent in towards each other and looking just… fucking perfect together.

"When asked, he said they were just friends,” the annoyingly chipper brunette continued as she flashed back onto the screen, "but he wasn't seen leaving her building at all last night. There are reports that they were very into each other and seemed completely in sync with one another."

I swallowed hard and bunched my hands into fists, my jaw starting to ache and my heart echoing in my ears.

"We all want to know, Edward, what happened to Bella?"

I didn't realize that the choked, strangled sound I heard break the unnatural silence in the room was from me until I saw Rosalie walk up to me and hesitantly put her hand on my shoulder. The DVD flashed back to the menu and I continued to stare at it, swallowing convulsively as I tried to piece it all together in my mind.

"Bella, come on, you can't believe that," Emmett started. "Tanya is his friend and that's it. He could've snuck out a back door or something."

"Has he ever before?" I asked through my teeth, staring hard at the little box of the brunette's face on the screen from the DVD menu.

"Maybe?"

"I'll buy the fishing line tonight, Bella."

"You will do no such thing," I said forcefully, pointing at her and keeping my eyes on the box of the woman who had just made this a really bad fucking day. "You're gonna go to work right now and Emmett, you're going to get dressed."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Take a shower," I said, abruptly turning on my heel and starting back up the stairs.

"You can't just ignore this, Bella!" Rosalie shouted out behind me.

"It's not true anyway, so yes, she can!"

"Oh, shut up. You know nothing."

"He's my brother! I'm pretty sure I know this!"

"But you're here and he's there; you know nothing!"

"Go to work, Rose!" I shouted as I reached the top of the stairs. "I'll call you later!"

I slammed my way into the bathroom and leaned my back against the door, closing my eyes and taking as many deep breaths as I could manage in a short amount of time without hyperventilating and passing out.

We'd been over this; he'd clearly said that they were good friends so naturally, they'd hang out with each other while they could. Their lifestyle wasn't always conducive to friendly relationships between and a man and a woman so of course the media would build it up and make it something that it wasn't.

But what if it was? What if it all was true? What if this was Edward's way of telling me that he didn't want to be with me anymore? Or his way of saying that he'd changed his mind on me moving out there with him?

"Bella?" I heard Emmett's voice on the other side of the door. "Why don't you just call him?"

I opened my eyes, slamming my head back against the door and taking a few more deep breaths.

"Because it's three in the morning in California," I answered quietly, really not caring too much if he didn't hear me, "and he's got a lot going on. He needs his rest."

"Can I tell you something?"

I rolled my eyes and moved my head from the door, reaching up to tangle my hands in my hair.

"Be my guest, Emmett."

"Edward has dated enough for our entire family to know when he's serious about her. We know the mannerisms, we know the quirks he has and can usually tell if the girl he's seeing is anything close to being serious. We hadn't seen any of that in a long time… until he came home for Christmas."

I sucked in a sharp breath and pressed my lips together, feeling my eyes water as I dropped my arms and looked up at the ceiling again.

"The way he'd talk about you or the way he'd act after he'd just gotten off the phone with you; we all knew that this was different for him. And when he saw those pictures of you, I thought he was gonna lose it."

I slid down the door, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my elbows on them, leaning my head forward and tangling my hands in my hair again.

"Bella, he told our grandmother that he was going to marry you."

My heart beat painfully against my ribs and I bit down on my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut tightly and swallowing hard.

"And while he's never been opposed to marriage before, he's never mentioned anything about it with anyone else. Bella, Tanya is probably the closest friend he's got out there. And that's all they are so please don't listen to the television shows or Rosalie. You know how he feels about you. Don't doubt him."

I turned my head and took another deep breath, nodding.

"Thank you, Emmett," I said quietly before rubbing my hands over my face.

"Just think about what I said, all right?"

"I will."

I heard him tap on the door twice before I heard his retreating footsteps. With one more deep breath and using the heels of my hands to dig into my eyes, I pushed myself off the floor and stared in at the shower.

I could think about all of this later. Right now, I had a store to run and ten thousand things that needed to be done before I could even really concentrate on what the fuck had just happened.

An hour later, I pulled into the parking lot of my store to find that there were now six different vans waiting in the parking lot and as soon as they spotted me, two guys from each van hopped out with cameras around their necks.

Twelve fucking men were standing in the parking lot of my business with cameras in their hands on the worst fucking day possible and oh, I'd had my fill of them already this morning.

Taking a deep, steadying breath and reminding myself that I couldn't give them any kind of ammunition to use for future news, I slowly grabbed my purse and slid out of the truck, tightly gripping my keys in my hands as I rounded the back.

I immediately heard camera shutters clicking as I walked into their line of sight and bit the inside of my cheek as I kept my gaze on the front door.

"Bella, are you and Edward still together?" one of them called out.

I ground my teeth together and barely looked over at them, nodding and glaring at the cement beneath me.

"We're perfectly fine."

"Did you see the pictures of him with Tanya? What do you think of that?"

"I think he was out with a friend and you morons made it worse than it was." I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head, holding up a hand to them. "I'm sorry," I apologized.

"We only take the pictures, sweetheart. Someone else writes the stories," a dark haired man said with a thick New York City accent as he kept snapping pictures of me.

"I apologize," I said again, nodding. "It's been a rough morning."

With that, I walked as quickly as I could down the rest of the pathway and hastily shoved the key into the lock, stumbling into the quiet store and immediately locking the door behind me.

I had a very great urge to sit in here all day, never unlock the doors and hide underneath my desk upstairs with my arms over my head as I tried to forget about everything that had already happened in my day.

Leaning back against the door and reaching up to run my hands through my air, I blew out a deep breath before pushing myself off and starting towards the stairs.

I couldn't hide. Not in the figurative or literal sense because I was out there. I was romantically linked – as one of the fifty or so magazines that I'd seen in the racks of my own damn bookstore had said – to Edward Cullen and any hope of ever being normal or wanting to disappear and blend in with the rest of society was out of the question.

I pushed all the thoughts of Edward and Tanya and the paparazzi outside stalking the front door out of my mind as I shed my coat and set my purse underneath the desk once I'd reached my office, breathing evenly as I grabbed the first resume on the stack at my elbow and carefully smoothed it out in front of me.

I still had a business to run and damn it if I wasn't going to give it my full attention.

~*~

At two – when I finally had a little more than an hour without an interview scheduled – I rang out the last visible customer in the store and sat back in the chair to run my hands down my face.

I'd been successful in blocking out the Tanya and Edward situation for the majority of the day. Now that I'd sat back and was beginning to relax a little bit, however, it was all just there. Front and center in my mind, screaming at me and taunting me with all the little tidbits that I'd apparently been subconsciously coming up with all damn day.

Them lying in bed together, naked and tangled in expensive red silk sheets as they toasted my naiveté with expensive wine and boisterous laughter.

My heart broke and I felt sick to my stomach at the image my overactive imagination had brought to life and I leaned forward to rest my elbows on the desk and place my head in my hands.

But there was also a very big, rational part of my brain that said what Emmett had told me this morning was the truth. Edward had already told me that while yes, he and Tanya had dated for a short time, they'd managed to stay close friends when the relationship didn't work out. So being comfortable enough to walk down the street arm-in-arm with her was completely understandable and totally justifiable. If I had more guy friends, maybe I would've done the same thing with them.

Yet there was still that tiny, nagging, annoying as fuck voice inside of my head that kept saying that there was so much more to the story.

I'd never wanted to bash my head against the wall to shut it up more than I did right now.

Sitting back in my chair, I let my head roll back and reached up with one hand to tap my forehead as I stared at the upside down shelf of manuals behind me.

He loves me. I know he does and he'd never do anything like this to me. He wasn't that type of person and damn it, he loves me. Things don't feel this way; I don't act this way when I know it's not there. And it's there – right in my face, taking over my life and making everything else shift to exactly where it's supposed to be.

He'd given me no rational reason to doubt him about anything, so why was I? Because some chipper brunette who was very intent on making my life miserable without knowing about it said that I needed to question everything he did?

Fuck her. She didn't know me. She didn't even know him so why was I letting a few pictures and a story that definitely wasn't true get to me this way? And hell, this was only the beginning, I'm sure.

I'd need to toughen the hell up and trust him like I said I did because he deserved that. He deserved that from me and damn it, so do I.

Sitting up straight and immediately reaching over, I grabbed the phone with every intention of calling him to get this all out, over and done with.

But then the door opened.

I bit my bottom lip and stared longingly at the keypad on the phone before setting the receiver back in its cradle. Sighing, I looked up to find Sue strolling towards me with a very determined look on her face.

"Hey, Sue. Everything okay?" I asked, a little scared as she came to a stop right in front of the counter.

She silently pulled her leather gloves off her hands, watching me with a small smirk on her face as she set her purse and the newly freed gloves on top of the counter.

"I've been talking to your father," she started.

Oh, this couldn't end well.

"Okay," I said slowly when she continued to just stand there.

"We've decided that if you want me to and haven't found someone else already, I will take over the store for you when you're in California."

I blinked at her.

Did I hear her right? She was willing to take over for me? She wanted to run my store for me when I left?

Bella, I think you're dreaming.

And oh, hell, that explained so much. The Tanya and Edward thing on television, Emmett and Rosalie bickering like two damn children; a dream would explain all of it.

"But you're… Albany," I stumbled, still staring at her like a dumb struck moron when I realized that no matter how many times I blinked at her, she was still waiting for me to say something. So much for my dream theory. "That's so… far."

"Do you know what I do all day, Bella?" she asked, leaning forward and resting her hands, palm down on the counter.

"No," I said honestly, quickly shaking my head.

"Neither do I."

I blinked at her again.

"Oh."

"I input numbers into the computer for some company I've never heard of all damn day for reasons I don't know and I'm very tired of it," she sighed, bending down to rest her elbows on the counter and cradle her cheek in her hand. "I had a blast working here those two days and if you're willing to train me properly, I will be happy to take this off your hands."

"But you're still in Albany."

"An hour's drive is nothing." She stood up straight and waved her hand at me. "I wouldn't mind it in the least."

"But the winter weather…"

"I may not live here, but I do have friends that live here. Worse comes to worse, I can stay with them for a night or two. Bella," she started, rounding the counter and bending down in front of me to grab my face in her hands, "I want to do this for you… if you want me to, that is. I will find a way to work everything out as long as you go with your boy and be happy."

I let out a choked laugh before launching myself into her arms and hugging her tightly, burying my nose into her shoulder and closing my eyes tightly.

"We're really gonna miss you, Bella," she whispered into my ear, smoothing down my hair. "Make some time for us before you leave, okay?"

"Of course," I said quickly, nodding and backing away from her to wipe away the moisture that had gathered underneath my eyes. "Always, Sue."

"Why don't you go take a break or something? Get out and get something to eat?" she suggested, her hands on the sides of my head as she smirked at me. "There are two vans outside but for the most part, it seems like they're the same guys that have been here all along."

"There were six vans this morning," I laughed, shaking my head and taking a deep breath. "I called them morons."

She laughed and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.

"Good for you. Now go on; get out of here for a while. I'll watch after everything."

I hugged her tightly again before dashing up the stairs and grabbing my purse and coat. I waved a hasty goodbye to her as I threw my coat on around my shoulders and ran down the path, completely ignoring the two guys still standing out there as they snapped my picture before I jumped into my truck and backed out.

I had a phone call to make, damn it, and nothing was going to get in my way.

I made it back home in record time, barely slamming my truck into park before I was jumping out of it and leaping up the porch stairs. I barged in through the door to find Emmett sitting on the couch with a sandwich halfway to his mouth, looking away from the blaring television to raise an eyebrow at me.

"You're home early."

"Break!" I yelled out behind me as I dropped my purse on the ground, slammed the door shut and skid into the dining room to grab the phone.

"Edward called. Bella, he's—"

"I'm on it!" I exclaimed, grabbing the phone and hastily dialing in his cell phone number.

I paced around the dining room, impatiently playing with the zipper on my coat as I waited for him to pick up the phone. I stopped and stepped into the living room again, raising an eyebrow at Emmett.

"Why aren't you packing?" I demanded.

He sighed wearily, shaking his head as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth.

"You… talk to him," he grumbled around it.

I rolled my eyes and resumed my pacing in the dining room, running my free hand through my hair.

"Emmett, I already told you," he started as he finally answered the phone.

"Edward!" I all but screeched, coming to a halt and smiling like an ass as I heard his voice.

Christ, how I'd missed his voice.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward and listen…"

"Bella, you have to let me explain."

"No, Edward, you don't…"

"I fell asleep!" he exclaimed and I heard the panic in his voice. "Nothing happened! We were talking and I just fell asleep and I wasn't thinking about anything that I did while I was doing it and I didn't mean anything by it!"

I bit my bottom lip, still smiling like an idiot as I stared at the base of the stairs and did a stupid little twirl in the middle of the dining room.

I was right.

"It's okay."

"I saw those pictures of you from this morning and I just… Bella, I would never do that to you and I know you're mad and it's—"

I stood up straight as I heard a detached voice on his end of the phone announcing something that sounded suspiciously like a flight.

"Where are you?" I demanded, squaring my shoulders.

"I'm coming home and I'm gonna make this right with us. I told Jeannie…"

My heart sank.

Oh, no. No, he can't do this. He didn't do that.

"You what?" I screeched.

"I told Jeannie this morning that I quit. Bella, I'm on my way home and we're gonna work this out. We're gonna be fine."

"Edward Cullen, turn your ass around, get in a cab and go back to her office to tell her that you were not serious."

"But Bella…"

"I mean it! I told you that you weren't quitting and damn it, I meant that. You are not giving that up."

"I'm not losing you!"

"What the hell made you think that you lost me? Jesus Christ, Edward," I groaned, smacking my hand over my face and shaking my head.

Stupid, god damned, overdramatic jackass jumping to conclusions and running to the airport for no good fucking reason…

"You said bye," he all but whispered, his voice nothing but sheer heart break and I felt my stomach clench upon hearing it.

Even though he'd confused me pretty damn thoroughly with that statement.

"What?"

"You said that you'd call me back later and then you said bye."

I swallowed hard, my heart beating painfully against my ribs as I placed a hand on my chest and shook my head slowly.

I hadn't even realized it. I didn't even know that I'd said that to him. We never said that; it was our unspoken rule and with all the craziness that was going on in the store yesterday, I'd slipped. And now I could completely understand that hopelessness I was hearing in his voice.

"Edward, I didn't…"

"And I know you're mad and upset! I get that," he said and I flinched when I heard his voice crack. "But it wasn't anything like what they're saying, Bella. Please, you have to believe me."

I swallowed hard again and closed my eyes tightly, licking my lips.

"I was doing too much at once and I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't even see any of this until this morning."

"You're not mad?"

"Not anymore."

"But you were," he accused.

I tapped my toes against the floor and licked my lips, shaking my head and wondering what in the hell had been wrong with me when I decided that I wanted a relationship again.

Honestly, he expected me to trust him and I did. I'd been paranoid and hurt and pissed off, but I'd finally come to the right conclusion. So shouldn't he trust me not to freak out over something that he'd warned me of all that time ago? Shouldn't he have more faith in me than that?

"Bella? Are you there?"

"I was upset," I corrected softly, "but then I realized that you loved me and you'd never do anything like this to me."

He was quiet and I could hear another garbled flight announcement being made as I opened my eyes.

"I don't deserve you," he finally said.

I twisted my lips to the side and raised an eyebrow at the last step on the staircase, trying in vain to bite my tongue and not make this crazy situation any worse than it already appeared to be.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am a little annoyed that you didn't trust in me enough."

He was quiet again and I began pacing once more, running my free hand through my hair and listening to Emmett scoff at whatever the hell he was watching on television.

"We knew this wasn't going to be easy for either of us and if this is really going to work, you need to trust that I'm not going to jump to conclusions about everything that the paparazzi catch you doing."

"I'm just… you didn't call… and then you didn't call back…"

"Edward, I love you," I said quietly as I finally stopped pacing and sat down at the dining room table. "And you really need to get that through your thick head."

"I know you do, but I'm just… I keep thinking that I'll wake up and you'll be gone."

"I told you that I'd stalk your ass and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Is it?"

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, dropping my hand to trace the wood grain patterns of the table top.

"It will be."

"I miss you."

I smiled a little, watching my fingertip as it rounded a circle and bit my bottom lip.

"I miss you too. Now get out of that airport and go tell Jeannie that you were kidding. And then call me so that I know she didn't kill you."

He laughed, but it was clearly forced.

"Edward."

"I hurt you. I saw it in those pictures."

"I'm fine."

"And I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," I demanded.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know."

"Please just let me come home," he begged.

"Edward, you are home," I sighed, shaking my head.

"No, home is where you are and if you're in New York, then that's where I need to be, too."

"Well, I'm not gonna be here for long, you know."

"But you're there now and I want to see you so that I can make this right."

"Edward, you have a job… how many things are you missing right this minute?"

"None; I don't have a job, actually. I quit, remember?"

"So help me, Edward, if you don't call her or go see her to tell her that you weren't being serious, I really never will come back."

"Don't you understand that you're more important to me than what I do for a living? I could be a hobo living on the street, but as long as I had you in our cardboard box for the night, I wouldn't care!"

"We'll be living in a cardboard box?" I asked, pressing my lips together to hold in laughter.

Nothing about this conversation was really all that funny, but honestly, the thought of Edward Cullen sleeping on the streets in a cardboard box was just pretty fucking hysterical.

"Or on a park bench."

I barked out a laugh, relieved when I heard him laughing with me.

"We're fine," I said quietly when we had both stopped laughing. "And we're still gonna be fine when I come back to California next week."

"Bella…"

"Go talk to Jeannie, please. You've got too much on your plate to deal with and you would feel really bad if you gave the poor woman a heart attack."

"Fine," he sighed heavily. "I'll call her."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he grumbled.

I smiled and shook my head, running my free hand through my hair again.

"I'll call you when I get home from work, all right?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Okay," I smiled softly, dropping my hand into my lap.

"Okay."

I waited until I heard the tell-tale click on the other end of the line before hanging up the phone and standing up. I set it back in its cradle before walking into the living room to find Emmett sprawled out on the couch in much the same fashion that he'd been when I ran in.

"You two good?" he asked, barely flicking his eyes away from the television.

"We're good."

He nodded once and I rolled my eyes, quickly walking by the television and reaching down to grab my purse again.

"Pack, Emmett, please," I said as I put my hand on the door. "I want everything ready to go before the end of next week."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do it."

I rolled my eyes again, sighing heavily and wondering where the hell the guy who had given me advice this morning had disappeared to. I think I liked him more than the blob of man sitting on the couch at this point.

~*~

Five hours later, I pulled into the driveway once again, exhausted and more than ready for the day off Sue had insisted I take tomorrow.

I'd run down the basics with her when I got back and she'd all but demanded that I leave her alone so that she could figure it all out as quickly as possible. I'd watched over her shoulder as she filled out request forms, rang out customers, even handled a completely pointless interview, handled shipment statements with ease and wanted to kiss her when it seemed that she'd done a better job than I had.

She was making my life entirely too easy and I loved her for it.

When the store had closed, I'd walked her through the closing procedure while she'd wordlessly packed up a few of my things from my desk and handed them to me in a box, grinning wildly.

And while I was ecstatic that I had finally found someone that I could trust enough to run the bookstore, it was still a little bittersweet. I'd poured my heart and soul into this place for quite a long time and it almost felt like I was losing a best friend.

But I was gaining the love of my life and really didn't have it in me to complain too much about it.

Grabbing the box from the passenger seat of my truck, I sighed and pushed open the truck door before sliding down from it and kicking it shut with my foot.

I hoped to hell that Emmett had packed some of the shit in the kitchen like I'd wanted him to because I really didn't have the energy to do much else. Yes, the workload for the day had been lessened significantly with Sue helping me, but there were also a hundred other things that I needed to do.

Like selling my house and figuring out what I was going to do with my truck, for instance.

Walking up the porch steps, I shook my head and awkwardly managed to grab the door knob, twisting it and kicking that open as well. I dropped the box to the floor, looking around the empty living room and listening closely.

There was rustling coming from upstairs and I reached up to rub the heels of my hands into my eyes, taking a deep breath as I kicked the door shut.

What in the fuck was he doing upstairs in what was probably the bedroom? I'd specifically told him that he didn't need to touch anything in there; I'd take care of it.

There were just certain things that Emmett did not need to see – like my underwear, for example.

"Emmett!" I groaned out, pulling my arms from my coat and draping it over the rocking chair next to me. "What are you doing up there?"

Silence.

"Seriously! The kitchen, Emmett, that was all I asked you to do!"

I finally heard him making his way out of the bedroom and shook my head before walking through the living room and into the kitchen to start something that resembled dinner for the both of us.

I heard his footsteps on the stairs and yanked open the door to the nearly-bare refrigerator, pursing my lips and staring in at the bottled water that never really seemed to go away and a few leftover Chinese take-out cases from the night before.

"Leftovers good with you?"

I didn't wait for an answer before grabbing two of the cartons and standing up. I heard his footsteps in the dining room, moving closer and turned around, staring at the doorway to wait for him to show up and give me the smart ass comment I'm sure was coming.

He'd been quiet for entirely too long.

My mouth dropped open and the cartons fell from my hands when I saw Edward appear in the doorway, his shoulders hunched, his hands in his pockets and a nervous smile gracing his lips.

"Uh," I squeaked, blinking rapidly at him.

Now I knew I was dreaming. I'd just talked to him five hours ago and I was pretty sure that he would've mentioned something like getting ready to show up here.

"I was already in Albany when you called," he explained quietly.

Then again, maybe not.

"You…"

"I needed to see you. Waiting wasn't an option anymore."

"You just…"

"I called Jeannie," he offered quietly, ducking his head down a bit and shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "She said that I couldn't come back without you."

I blinked at him.

"I've been so preoccupied with thoughts of actually losing you that I fucked up an entire photo shoot. Just sat there and stared at the camera." He offered me a small, unrealistic smirk and shrugged one shoulder. "The photographer said it was the most depressing shoot he'd done in his entire career."

"You…"

"She said that I could only get my job back if you were with me when I showed up in California again. Until then, she's rearranging everything I have to do."

"Edward, you can't just…"

"I was sure that I'd lost you," he said softly, looking down at his feet. "That I'd fucked everything up and you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. It was the absolute worst feeling in the world."

He looked up at me again and I sucked in a sharp breath, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth.

He looked so lost and defeated and I'd never seen him this way. He wasn't ever supposed to look that way; I wasn’t supposed to be the one to make him look like that.

"Tanya's the only person I can consider a real friend out there," he continued quietly, looking back down at the floor. "And we just act that way with each other. It doesn't mean anything; it's just the way we are. I didn't think about it the way that I should've and I'm sorry, Bella."

"Where's Emmett?" I asked quietly.

He hunched his shoulders a little more, almost as if he wanted to curl into himself and disappear. My throat tightened at the movement.

Sure, the first full sentence I'd managed since I'd seen him and it was about his brother. Great idea, Bella.

"Rosalie showed up and I made them both get out for a while."

"You do know that they're probably going to kill each other, right?"

"Not something I'm overly concerned with right now," he answered softly, still staring down at the floor. "Bella, please tell me if there's a way to fix this."

"There's nothing to fix."

He visibly flinched and I shook my head at the both of us.

First of all, this distance between us was absolute madness. I shouldn't be standing on one end of the room with him on the other; no. It didn't work that way. We didn't work that way.

Second of all, hadn't I already told him that we were fine? That phone call did really happen, didn't it?

Christ, I wish I knew if I was dreaming or not because this entire damn day had just been one big mind-fuck and I was really fucking tired of it.

Stepping over the spilled fried rice and dumplings, I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest. I kept my grip around his waist until I finally felt his arms around me loosely, as if he was afraid to touch me.

I turned my head, gently pressing a kiss over his heart through his shirt as I started to drag my fingernails up and down his back.

"We've already been over all of this, Edward," I said softly, resting my chin on his chest and looking up at him.

"I wanted to say it to you, not a phone." His hands were shaking as he put them on my cheeks. "I've never felt this way for anyone before, Bella, and the thought of losing you…"

He closed his eyes and bent down to rest his forehead against mine. I continued to drag my fingernails up and down his back, staring at his closed eyes and waiting for them to open again.

"It's put everything in perspective, I guess. Acting isn't important if you're not going to be there with me."

"But I am," I whispered, stepping up on my toes and gently brushing the end of my nose against his. "Trust in me, Edward, please."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop it."

"Bella…"

"Look at me," I whispered, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked down into mine.

"We're going to make mistakes and we're going to screw up because we're human and it's what we do. But it won't be the end of the world and it won't be the end of us. You're too important to me and I'm not going to lose you."

"I can't screw this up," he whispered, shaking his head.

"I won't let you."

He started brushing his thumbs over my cheeks and underneath my eyes, his breathing ragged as he threaded his fingers back into my hair.

"I'm just… I'm so scared that I'll do something that will have you running the other way without a second glance and I can't handle that, Bella."

"If I can stick with you through your cooking," I started, thankful when I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up a little, "then I'll stay through anything."

"Do you forgive me, Bella?"

"Oh for Christ's sakes, Edward, there's nothing to forgive," I laughed, shaking my head. "You hung out with a friend and yeah, okay, it looked bad at first and everything else just kind of snowballed from there, but it's okay."

I moved my hands from his shirt, placing one over his heart and the other on his neck.

"Human, remember?"

He moved his hands from my face, quickly wrapped them around my waist and finally held me as tightly as he always should before his lips found mine, urgent and hungry. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands sliding into his hair as I stepped forward and pressed myself against him completely.

Eventually, the urgency faded and he placed a few soft kisses against my top lip, his arms still tight around me as he pulled away from me.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning up and gently kissing my forehead.

I untangled my hands from his hair and stepped up on my toes to hug him tightly, burying my nose into his neck and smiling.

"I love you too."

"Guess we've got a lot to talk about, huh?"

I nodded, placing a soft kiss against his neck before stepping down and looking up at him.

"Yeah, like why the hell you didn't tell me that you were in Albany when I called and why in the fuck did you ask me to come home when you were already on your way?"

He laughed nervously and shrugged, twisting his lips to the side.

"I wanted you to say that you were okay with it," he mumbled, shrugging again. "I wanted to know that you still… wanted me."

"We do have a lot to talk about," I whispered, reaching around to place my hand on his cheek.

He nodded, turning his head and placing his lips against my palm.

"I want to spend a lot of time here, Bella," he said softly, his hands absently tangling in the ends of my hair as he turned to look down at me again. "It's still your home and you do still have a life here. I don't want to take everything away from you."

"You're not taking everything away from me."

"I'm taking enough."

I sighed heavily and tilted my head at him, gently running my thumb down the bridge of his nose.

"It was partly my decision, too."

"Would you have left here if I wasn't in your life?"

"Would I have had a life if I didn't have you?"

"It'd be quieter."

"It'd be boring."

"I love it here, too," he whispered.

I sighed again and swallowed the points we'd end up going over at some point during the night and let him have this… for now.

"Then I guess we'd better figure out a way to make that happen, huh?"

He nodded and leaned down to kiss me again before grabbing one of my hands and leading me out of the kitchen. He grabbed the phone from its charger and started up the stairs with me trailing behind him.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, tugging on his hand.

"What?"

"I dropped food."

I let go of his hand and ran back down the stairs, hearing his footsteps behind me and screeching when he caught me around the waist to lift me from the floor.

"Go upstairs," he whispered into my ear, placing a kiss against my neck. "I'll clean it up."

He handed me the phone and let me go, walking around me and grabbing the broom and dustpan from the corner next to the refrigerator. I bit my bottom lip and smiled softly, wrapping my arms around myself before turning on my heel and starting back up the stairs.

He came for me. I'd never had anyone chase after me before.

No one had loved me as much as he did.

Yeah, we had a lot to talk about and a lot of decisions to make concerning our future, but that's just it; it was our future.

And it felt fan-fucking-tastic to know it.

Back or Next

Thirty Five

2009-08-02T16:46:00.000-07:00

*Edward*

The minute I dropped Bella off at the airport, I'd had an extremely long meeting with Jeannie where we covered everything from my life with Bella to the new movie I'd start working on after my mini-vacation in March. I had press junkets and appearances and interviews with everything I could possibly imagine coming up and just looking at the schedule a second time had me panting in exhaustion. I'd be traveling a lot and I wasn't sure if Bella would go with me. She wanted to open up her new bookstore as soon as she could, I presumed, so would she even be able to go with me?

Shaking my head and making a mental note of everything I needed to talk over with Bella when she got back, I'd sat with Jeannie while she prattled on and waited to be dismissed.

When I was finally allowed to leave, I stood outside of the office building, juggling the keys to the one extreme I'd allowed myself – my Aston Martin – in my hands and wondered what the hell I was supposed to do now.

Bella was in New York. I hadn't heard from Tanya since New Year's Eve, meaning that she was probably off somewhere with her latest boyfriend I hadn't heard about or still on her holiday, and couldn't count on her to keep me occupied. So I'd sighed heavily and trudged down the sidewalk and into the underground parking garage, getting into the car and driving back to my building.

I'd cleaned my already spotless condo. I'd ventured into town and bought an extremely expensive frame for the picture of me and Bella. Then I hung the damn thing in our bedroom, smiling like an ass the entire time.

I'd fielded phone calls from Alice and had completely ignored a few from Victoria as I stepped back and studied the print that was now hanging right above our bed in our bedroom.

And then I sighed because it was official; I was a woman.

So I finally answered my cell phone, letting Alice excitedly go on about all the plans she had for Bella when her and Jasper finally made the big move to California and finally called Victoria back.

And by the time Bella called to tell me that she was back in New York with my dumbass brother, I'd been roped into going out with Victoria and some other members of the cast against my better judgment. While I'd gotten close to them during filming and could consider them professional acquaintances, the group of them together made me a little uneasy. They'd been in the acting business for quite some time and I don't know if they'd just gotten jaded or had always acted as though everyone owed them something, but being around them more than I had to be always made me a little nervous.

But going out with them would be better than sitting in the condo, staring at the picture and wishing that Bella was still here with me. The condo just felt… empty now.

Twenty minutes after I'd hung up the phone with Bella, I was standing outside of the upscale club Laurent had insisted we go to tonight, smiling tightly at the paparazzi as they walked backwards to snap their pictures of me for the night.

There weren't enough words to describe how much I missed New York. Or, hell, even Forks at this point.

"Where's your girl, Edward?"

"Did you two break it off already?"

I resisted the urge to growl at them as I shook my head and walked up the steps to the glass door leading in to the club.

"No, we didn't. And she's simply not here," I said easily, shrugging before I yanked open the door and quickly slipped inside.

The lights were dimmed, the music wasn't too loud and it was packed full of people. Ducking my head and stuffing my hands in my pockets, I weaved around highly drunk women and the men that were carrying them off to what I assumed was the bathroom.

I slowly made my way to the edge of the open, square room and stood up on my toes in an attempt to see a glimpse of any of my cast mates lurking around somewhere.

I heard Victoria's laugh before I saw her, following the sound and looking to my left to find her sitting in between James and Laurent, with Jane and Alec sitting across from them. I sucked in a deep breath and squared my shoulders as I walked up and slid into the booth next to Jane.

"There he is!" James exclaimed, raising his arms over his head and snapping his fingers at the nervous waitress standing nearby.

I repressed the urge to sigh heavily at him, feeling extremely sorry for the poor girl that looked like she'd duck and cover at any loud noise or raised voice.

They were all used to being waited on hand and foot; being at a club was no different and they respected no one but themselves. I, apparently, had quite a ways to go before I earned half the respect they had for themselves but couldn't quite muster up enough strength to really give a damn.

"Man of the hour," Victoria purred, leaning over the table and showing me hints of what I'd been forced to see on the movie set.

"Where's your new girl?" Jane asked, eyeing me as she tapped the sides of her glass.

"New York." I smiled at the girl James had snapped at, ordering a beer before turning back to them. "She's tying up loose ends and then coming back here."

"Getting serious, are we?" Laurent asked, raising a dark eyebrow at me and leaning back in his seat.

"She's that librarian right?" Alec asked, peeking around Jane. "You can't possibly be serious with her."

"We are and I am," I nodded, thanking the still-nervous waitress as she reappeared with my beer. "She's moving out here and she's not a librarian."

Alec rolled his eyes and I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to stay civil.

"Edward, really," Victoria scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and rolling her clear green eyes. "You'll never settle down with someone like her."

I lifted the bottle to my lips, eyeing them all as I tipped it back.

"She's very plain," Jane announced, nodding decisively.

"I never would've fucked her," Alec stated, looking over at Jane and grinning widely at her.

"I guess it's good that you're not me then, huh?" I asked, my voice low as I snapped the bottle back onto the table.

It would do me no good to fly over Jane and murder him. I'd end up in jail and then I'd never see Bella.

"Guess we're pissing him off," Laurent laughed, amusement dancing in his dark brown eyes as he raised his glass and tipped it at me in salute.

"Just trying to give you some advice, Edward," Victoria smiled, reaching over to run her knuckles over mine as I gripped the bottle tightly.

"Thanks," I said through my teeth, quickly snatching my hand away. "But I'm doing fine on my own."

"You'll see," Jane said innocently before lifting her glass to her lips and looking away from me.

I glared at the side of her deceivingly innocent and youthful face, biting my tongue in hopes that it would stop the words I really wanted to say from coming out.

They didn't know Bella; hell, they barely knew more about me than anyone else in this entire damn town did. What right did they have to make assumptions like that?

"Dance with me," Victoria demanded, shoving James out of the booth and standing up before grabbing my free hand and pulling forcefully.

"No, thanks."

"She's not here!" she laughed, still tugging on my hand. "Have a little fun!"

Yeah, this was fun. Sure. Sitting here and listening to them discount everything that had happened in my life in the past month was tons of fucking fun.

"She won't kill you for enjoying yourself, I'm sure," James grinned at me. "And if you happen to have a little more fun than anticipated, well…"

He shrugged his shoulders and dusted off his hands, still grinning at me as my vision glazed over in red.

I didn't even know these people. At all. They'd been completely different while we were on the set and filming. They'd never acted like this towards me during that time. Sure, Victoria had tried getting into my pants on more than one occasion, but none of them had been anything like this before.

"She doesn't have to know," Victoria purred, her lips suddenly pressed against my ear.

I jumped up and moved away from her, shaking my head and reaching up to tangle my hands in my hair.

"I need some air," I stated before turning on my heel and walking back towards the front door.

I stopped abruptly, my arms hanging limply at my sides as I looked through the glass door to see that the paparazzi were still out there – their hands on the cameras swinging from their necks and pacing back and forth at the bottom of the steps. Like lions, waiting for their prey; waiting for me.

And I was the asshole bringing Bella into this world with me. Begging her to go premieres with me, shoving her into the direct spotlight, uprooting her entire life for this. A life where she'd be stalked, hounded with questions, put on display and ridiculed like she wasn't an actual person anymore.

I couldn't let her do it. I wouldn't let her do it. Not for me, no. She deserved more than this bullshit I'd already put her through. She was better than all of this.

I jumped, ready to attack if necessary when I felt hands on my arm and immediately looked down into a pair of familiar amber colored eyes.

"Tanya," I breathed, smiling as I reached around her petite 5'2" frame to hug her tightly.

"Hi, boy!" she laughed, her arms tight around my neck as she kicked her feet up behind her. "Heard that you were here."

"How? I just got here," I laughed, setting her down once she'd lowered her feet.

"The internet is a many wondrous thing," she grinned, standing up on her toes to ruffle my hair. "Speaking of… I think you have quite a bit to tell me."

I grinned back at her, reaching up to push some of her strawberry-blonde hair behind her ear as I nodded.

"Yes, I do."

She nodded decisively before hooking her arm through mine and turning us to face the door again.

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath, placed one hand over hers and nodded.

To hell with my cast mates sitting in a booth behind me somewhere. They'd done nothing but piss me off since I'd arrived and I hadn't seen Tanya since before I'd left for New York. She was the only person in this town that I could count as a real friend and at this moment in time, I really needed someone else to talk to.

"As ready as I can be."

"Then off we go," she stated, pulling on my arm and pushing through the glass door.

We were immediately blinded by flashes, questions and our names were being thrown at us as we walked down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.

"My place?" she asked quietly, her heels clicking against the cement as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Yeah," I nodded, looking up and sighing heavily as I watched a young boy – no older than sixteen – run in front of us with a very expensive camera shoved against his eye. "It's closer."

We'd taken this route many times before and were always followed. Tanya lived in a gated building not too far from the main drag in town and it naturally made sense for us to go there when we wanted time to talk or hang out.

Of course, no one else saw it that way. They hid outside of the gate until they saw me leaving at three in the morning, immediately assuming that there had been something other than catching up going on behind the closed doors.

It never failed to amaze me with everything that they came up with. It didn't matter how many times the both of us had said that we were just friends; they always picked apart pictures and analyzed them to within an inch of their lives. It was even funnier when none of it was even close to the truth.

Yes, Tanya was gorgeous and had been on so many of those damn Hollywood's Hottest lists that it was insane. And we'd both given it an honest shot when we started dating, but it hadn't worked as well as we wanted it to. We were destined to be friends – nothing more than that – and no one else in the entire world would believe us or let us live down the three month run we'd had together. It didn't matter how many people we'd been with since then; we were always on the verge of getting back together every time we were photographed.

We were quiet the whole walk from the club to her place, keeping our arms linked as they followed us up the steep hill and stopped at the gate.

"Edward, are you and Tanya back together?" one of them finally broke the silence to ask.

I sighed heavily, looking down at Tanya and shaking my head as I smirked at her. She bit her bottom lip as she hovered around the security keypad and punched her number into it, shaking her head as well.

"We're just friends," I said for what felt like the millionth time in the past year.

"We'll be here when you leave," one of them declared proudly, holding his hand up above the rest of them as the gate snapped open.

"Of that, I have no doubts," I sighed, following behind Tanya as she walked in through the open gate.

I walked ahead as she punched in her security code to close the gate and looked behind me, seeing that the paparazzi were huddling around the gate and still snapping pictures of us. We waited until we were safely in her seemingly gold-plated lobby and on our way to the mirrored elevators before turning to each other and sighing heavily.

"It'll never stop, will it?" I asked, reaching over to punch the button that would take us up to her floor.

"Not until one of us gets married to different people," she sighed, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around one of mine and rested her head on my bicep. "And even then, we'll still be sleeping with each other or some such shit."

I pursed my lips and nodded, sighing heavily and reaching up to rub my forehead.

"You gonna tell me about her or what?"

I looked down at her again and smirked, nodding.

"Oh, trust me. You'll be getting the full version as soon as we're in your living room and you've given me a damn beer. I never did get a chance to finish mine."

"You're more than welcome to go back there," she laughed, pinching my side and snorting when I squeaked and jumped away from her.

"You're not playing fair!" I whined, pointing at her with one hand and rubbing the spot she'd pinched with the other.

"And you sound like a spoiled rotten child." She looked up as the elevator dinged and quickly stepped on once the doors opened. "Come on, hottest actor of the year. You've got some 'splainin to do."

I rolled my eyes and dropped my arms, dragging my feet as I followed her onto the immaculately clean elevator and leaned against the back wall next to her.

"How was Alaska?" I asked, grabbing the wooden beam that ran around the length of the elevator car and crossing my ankles.

"Great," she beamed, smiling up at me as she mimicked my position. "Kate and Irina say hello, by the way."

"When are they coming back out to visit?"

"Oh, please don't push it," she mumbled, shaking her head. "I love my sisters, but I just spent an entire month with them and my parents. I'm thankful to be back here alone for a while."

I laughed and nodded, slinging an arm around her shoulders as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. She reached inside her shirt and pulled out her key from its secure spot in her bra before wrapping her other arm around my waist and leading me down the familiar brightly lit hallway towards her apartment. She stuck the key in the door of apartment six-oh-five and walked in ahead of me, hooking her key onto the rack by the door and flipping on the lights.

Closing the door behind me, I toed off my shoes and yawned, walking out of the foyer and into the jewel-toned living room, flopping face first onto her royal blue couch and nuzzling my nose into the cushions. While she wasn't as stuck up as some of the other actresses in this town, Tanya definitely enjoyed her lifestyle. Everything she owned was top of the line and designer; from the underwear she bought to the furnishings in her home. She didn't think twice about dropping five thousand dollars on a dress she'd wear only once and while she always looked amazing, her spending habits made me cringe. The monthly rent for this apartment alone was more than what I'd paid in total for the cabin.

While I'd never had to actually want for much in my life, it still made me uncomfortable and nervous when I had something that was probably worth more than my life in my possession for a while.

I looked over when I heard her plop down what I could only assume was a beer bottle on the glass coffee table in the middle of the room and watched as she slid into the deep purple arm chair across from me.

"Start talking, boy," she demanded, toeing off her shoes and pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Where would you like me to start?"

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, reaching over and grabbing the Heineken off the table as I eyed her playfully.

"The last time we talked about this Bella girl, she was with someone and you had absolutely no dating inclinations towards her."

"Things changed," I said easily, shrugging as I lifted the bottle to my lips. "When I went back this time, she'd just broken up with her boyfriend and we started getting closer."

"So those sickeningly romantic looks you two were giving each other at your premiere weren't staged?" she smirked, leaning forward to rest her cheek on her upraised knees.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, shaking my head.

"No, they were the real thing. She's the real thing," I said softly, looking down at my hands and slowly starting to peel the label off the bottle with my thumbnail.

"So what's the problem?"

Ah, she knew me too well.

I looked back up at her and swallowed hard, lifting the bottle to my lips and tilting my head back.

"She doesn't deserve this," I blurted out as I held the bottle in my lap. "She's moving out here for me. She's leaving everything she knows and loves to move out here where she'll never have peace and quiet ever again. She says that she wants to be with me, but I don't think she understands just what that really means."

I set the bottle back onto the coffee table and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and digging my hands into my hair.

"She is everything that I've ever wanted in a woman, Tanya. She's fucking perfect for me and I want to spend the rest of my damn life with her, but I don't want for her to have to deal with shit like we do all the time. She doesn't deserve that."

"Have you tried talking to her about this?"

"All she'll say is that she knows," I spat, tugging on my hair. "But you should've seen her face when we got off the plane yesterday… Tanya, she looked so damn scared that I didn't…"

"Okay," she said softly and I jumped when I felt her hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles there.

Christ, she could be quiet when she wanted to be. Now I know how Bella feels when I blindfold her.

"Would you like my opinion?"

"Fuck yes," I breathed, my hands still buried in my hair as I closed my eyes tightly.

"I don't know this girl and I've been in this business too long not to agree with some of the points you've made about her. But you two have been plastered on a hell of a lot of magazines since the night out you had at that club in New York and Alaska is really not that amusing when your sisters are riding your ass about those small movie roles they auditioned for six months ago."

I snorted and shook my head slightly, wondering what in the hell that had to do with anything else.

"I had the time to look at every single picture they published of the two of you together, Edward and let me tell you," she said softly, leaning in and resting her head on my shoulder, "that girl might have been terrified getting off the plane yesterday, but she loves you. I have never seen anyone you've dated before look at you the way that she does. And I'm willing to bet that she'd follow you to the ends of the Earth whether you wanted her to or not."

"But that's not my problem," I sighed, twisting slightly and looking over at her. "My problem is that I'm ruining her entire damn life."

"And I'm trying to tell you that she obviously doesn't care. If she's leaving everything she's always known to be with you on a more permanent basis, I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a fuck."

"But I do! Tanya, what if…?" I swallowed hard and jumped up to pace around. "What if she changes her mind?"

"I can't answer that and neither can you."

I stopped pacing to stuff my hands roughly into my pockets and glare at her.

"That's not helping."

"I'm just being honest with you, Edward. I don't know what'll happen in the future and neither do you. She wants to be with you and she's moving her entire life out here to do it. That's obviously a sacrifice she's willing to make and it's because she obviously loves you, you ass. So suck it up, stop bitching about it and analyzing everything too damn much and enjoy it." She threw her hands up in the air and laughed, shaking her head. "You seemed to have found what everyone in the damn world has been searching for so just enjoy it."

I stared at her, my shoulders hunching forward as I pressed my lips together and ran her words over again in my mind.

She was right. She often was, but this time, she was really right.

I'd found her. There were so many people wandering around, searching and hoping for the one to fall into their laps and I'd already found her. I had her and she wanted to be with me, felt the same about me.

Knowing that didn't stop the guilt and mind-numbing fear racing through me at top speeds, but it did help a little.

"She's giving up so much," I managed, swallowing hard.

"Because she wants to be with you."

She reached forward and grabbed my beer bottle, lifting it to her lips and tilting her head back slightly.

"I'm not… all I'm doing is bringing her into…"

"I'm going to throw this at you," she threatened, tipping the bottle at me and raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not giving up anything."

"You're giving up being one of the fifty most eligible bachelors."

I pulled my hands from my pockets and rubbed them over my face.

"Dumbest excuse ever," I grumbled.

"But oh so true."

I dropped my hands and glared at her as she grinned at me, tapping her non-existent fingernails against the bottle.

"Being in a relationship is give-and-take, Edward. She's giving up her normal life to be with you and that's something that you need to take. When the time comes that you need to do the same for her, you'll remember this moment and not let her beat herself up over it. It's all about balance."

She spread her hands out at her sides and smiled serenely at me, tipping her head from side to side.

"So please listen to your own personal grand pooh-bah and get over here so that I can tell you all about how I'm going to seduce the new actor in town."

I rolled my eyes and trudged my way back to the couch, flopping down beside her and snatching the beer bottle back. She folded her legs underneath her and grinned over at me as she launched into the description of this new guy she'd seen at some point in the last twenty-four hours.

She needed more girl friends. While I would sit here and listen to her go on and on about how gorgeous this new guy around town was because she'd listened to me complain about my situation with Bella, I really didn't want to hear about how round and cute his ass was.

But I listened to her anyway, because that's just what friends do.

~*~

"Edward, wake up."

I nuzzled my cheek into the pillow, smiling softly.

"Ten more minutes, Bella."

I heard her laugh… only it wasn't her. Bella's laugh was always a little deeper than her speaking voice, spiked with occasional high notes. This laugh was high-pitched, extremely girly, and a little familiar.

Panic raced through me and I squeezed my eyes tightly together, my foggy brain trying to recall everything that had happened the night before.

The club, Victoria, James, Alec…

"Seriously," the voice said from beside me. "Your phone has been blowing up."

…Jane, Laurent – I'd needed to get away from them. And then Tanya…

Oh, Jesus, thank you, Tanya.

I relaxed and blew out a deep breath I hadn't realized that I'd been holding, my tense body immediately relaxing into the familiar contours of the couch I remembered being on last night.

We'd stayed up until some ungodly hour, catching up after she'd finished babbling on about this Garrett guy and I had obviously fallen asleep somewhere along the way.

My eyes snapped open and I was greeted with Tanya's khaki covered knees. I looked up at her and smiled sheepishly before yawning.

"You have a very annoying ring tone," she stated, absently reaching down to smack the back of my head.

"What is it?" I mumbled, sitting up and stretching my arms over my head.

"I believe," she started, handing me a dark green mug I assumed was filled with coffee once I'd lowered my arms, "it's Where's the Love? by Hanson."

I smirked.

"Jeannie."

I shook my head once and sighed, bringing the mug to my lips and forcing myself to swallow the mud-like liquid she was passing off as coffee.

I forgot how horrible she was in the kitchen. I was bad in it myself, but at least I could make a pretty decent cup of coffee when it was called for.

She snorted and shook her head, grabbing a remote sitting on the coffee table and flicking on the television.

"Damage control, I'm sure," she sighed, flipping the channels until she reached E! "It's already out, Edward."

My hands tightened around the mug as I watched Tanya and I disappear through her gate. I hadn't realized that one of them had a video camera.

"I should've woken you up." She looked down at me apologetically and I offered her a small smile. "I wasn't thinking."

"Neither was I." I set the mug down on the coffee table and stood up. "I'll call you later and we can go out for lunch or something?"

"I'll give you a ride," she shrugged, looking up at me. "I have a meeting out that way anyway."

I nodded, looking at the television again to see a picture of us walking arm-in-arm down the street.

"Thanks."

"I need to meet your girl when she gets back here, you know. Just so that she doesn't freak out on you about all of this."

I felt all the blood drain from my face and my knees buckled, landing me back on the couch.

Fuck. I hadn't thought about any of that. I was so used to being that way with Tanya – it was just the way we were – that it never really crossed my mind what Bella would think when she saw all of this. I was used to the paparazzi making a big damn deal out of it and had gotten used to it. I didn't like it, but it was a part of my life and I'd been dealing with it as much as I knew how to.

Bella wasn't used to this. Bella didn't know what I was like with Tanya. And I had a very strong feeling that Rosalie would make the worst out of it if Bella hadn't already.

"I have to—"

I jumped when my cell phone went off from its spot on the floor and dived for it, narrowly missing hitting my head on the edge of the coffee table.

"Jeannie," I mumbled before answering. "I need to call you back."

"You needed to be in my office half an hour ago," she immediately shot back.

"Okay, I'll be there but I have to go!"

I hung up on her, not wholly concerned with the wrath I'd deal with upon showing up in her office and looked at the time on the phone, cursing loudly.

It was nine-thirty here, meaning that it was twelve-thirty in New York. Bella was supposed to call me when she woke up. And frantically scrolling through my call log only told me that she hadn't done so yet.

She had to be awake now, right? She'd be fucking exhausted, but she had to go in to work this morning; she'd missed three days and I knew how her mind worked. She would've been up and at the store as soon as possible.

So why hadn't she called me?

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"Call her from the car!" Tanya exclaimed from the doorway.

I looked up, not realizing that she'd turned the television off and was on the move. I jumped up again, my legs feeling like gelatin as I walked over to her and slid into my shoes, following wordlessly as she walked out into the hallway.

I quickly dialed in the house number, practically bouncing in impatience as we waited for the elevator and growled when I heard the mechanical voice of the answering machine click onto the line.

"Emmett, pick up!" I demanded. "Get your ass up and answer this fucking phone!"

I waited and nearly screamed in frustration when he didn't – no one did. I hung up at the same time that the elevator doors opened.

"Calm down," Tanya said quietly, placing one hand on my arm and pushing the button for the underground parking garage as we walked onto the elevator car. "It'll be okay."

"She can't think that, Tanya. She can't," I shook my head, stuffing my phone into my pocket and reaching up to dig my hands into my hair. "And she will. If she doesn't, Rosalie will and she threatened to hang me up by my balls with fishing line. Tanya, I can't screw this up."

"I think you need another three weeks of vacation."

"Oh, I'd love it," I mumbled, letting my hands fall from my hair to slam my head against the back of the elevator.

"You really do love her, huh?"

I merely rolled my head to the side, looking down at her and nodding.

"I really do. I don't know what I'd do without her."

"You'd find your way."

I raised an eyebrow at her and sighed, closing my eyes and rolling my head back, anxiously tapping my toes against the floor.

"But I wouldn't be the same person," I said quietly, slowly opening my eyes and staring up at the ceiling.

"You did tell her about me, didn’t you?"

I nodded, sighing heavily.

"And she knows we're just friends?"

I nodded again.

"Then I doubt you've got anything to worry about."

"You don't know Rosalie," I grumbled, all but flying out of the elevator when it came to a stop and the doors opened.

I snatched my phone out of my pocket and quickly scrolled through the numbers to find her cell phone number, my footsteps echoing loudly as I pressed down on the button and placed the phone against my ear again. My heart started beating in overtime when it didn't even ring, instead going straight to her voicemail.

"Bella, please pick up the phone. Please talk to me," I begged, swallowing hard before ending the call and scrolling through my contacts again.

I found the number for the bookstore, vaguely listening to Tanya's heels behind me as I marched towards the parking spot that was hers. I quickly jammed my thumb onto the right button and placed the phone up to my ear.

"You really need to calm the fuck down!" Tanya yelled out behind me.

I waved her off, running my free hand through my hair.

"One More Time Books, Bella speaking. Can I help you?" she sighed.

"Bella!" I exclaimed, my voice echoing off the concrete pillars and floor as I reached Tanya's Mercedes.

"Hey. Can I call you back?"

My heart fell in my chest and it felt like my throat was closing up as my fingers tightened around my phone.

"What? Bella…"

"I'm swamped, Edward, I'm sorry. I'll call you back tonight."

"But I just…"

"Bye, Edward."

My heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. My mouth fell open as I listened to the line click on the other end.

We never said bye.

She said bye.

Fuck it all, she said bye.

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