*Bella*
I watched out the side window of the store as Edward pulled away from the curb and turned down our street, my arms wrapped around myself with one of the dumbest smiles on my face.
The exhaustion I felt in every inch of my body wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t as prominent as it had been a few minutes before. As cliché and cheesy as it was, every time he touched me made my nerve endings quickly spark to life as if they’d been impatiently waiting for him.
I hadn’t expected to see him until after I’d gotten out of work. It had scared the hell out of me, seeing how calm Jessica was when her celebrity obsession was standing in the same room with her.
Before we’d come to loathe each other, she’d once told me that if she ever had the opportunity to meet him, they’d be doing a whole slew of illegal things no matter where they were or who was watching them. I’d come to learn in time that she wasn’t joking so the fact that she was calmer than I’d ever seen her and seated halfway across the room from him scared the shit out of me.
Then, when he’d told me that he’d bribed her in order to get me a week’s vacation that I hadn’t had in longer than I could remember, I swear my heart had stopped. The things she’d probably want from him in order to give me some time away made me sick.
I guess a ticket to a movie premiere was all it actually took and my heart was back in my chest, beating where it was supposed to be as opposed to where it had been stopped in my throat a few moments before.
“So do I still have to stay away from him?”
I was jerked out of my thoughts when I heard Jessica’s voice behind me, smug and seemingly all-knowing.
“Yes,” I said immediately, not turning around to face her even though his car had disappeared around the corner about two minutes ago.
“I’m going to a premiere with him, Bella.” I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “Don’t you think it’s pointless to stay away now?”
Oh, if only she knew that she’d be safely away from him; merely a face in a sea of other fans that all looked exactly the same. How she even thought that she’d be going with him when he’d only offered her a ticket didn’t make any sense to me, but I guess simple things like that didn’t exactly compute in her mind.
“What do you think will happen?” I asked, finally turning around to face her. “Do you think he’s going to fall madly in love with you?”
“Do you?” she spat, glaring at me from across the room. “Do you really think that you have a shot in hell with him?”
For all the staring she’d done while he was here, she’d done a really good job at ignoring how he’d had his hands on my face.
And even though I knew better, her words still hit home. I knew that he was with me and I knew that he wanted to be with me, but it hadn’t stopped the doubts I’d had since before there was even a possibility of being with him.
“What do you see when you look at him, Jess?” I asked, slowly making my way over to the counter and standing in front of her. “What do you see in him that makes you want him so damn much?”
“He’s hot,” she said simply, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back in her chair. “And he seems like he really knows how to give a girl a good time.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder, defiantly crossing her arms over her chest. “You probably wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
“So you think that you’d be a good match for him based on the fact that he’s hot and looks like he knows what he’s doing in bed? That’s the only reason you want him?”
“Just because you’re his damn neighbor, you think that you know everything about him?” She leaned forward in her chair, crossing her arms on the space of counter in front of her. “You don’t know anything about him.”
I bit my tongue hard enough that I immediately tasted blood as I glared at her.
If only she could get into my head or be in my shoes for one day, then there’d be no way that she’d be able to say any of these things to my face.
“And you do?” I asked evenly, struggling to keep my voice low and neutral.
The pathetic amount of customers wandering around in the other room probably wouldn’t appreciate hearing me scream at her the way I really wanted to.
“I know more about him than you could ever hope to know. You’re just a toy, Bella, and if he’s given you any indication that you’re anything else, I feel sorry for you. He’ll drop you on your ass as soon as he’s out of this place and back in
Again, her words had managed to hit home and I was only able to run my tongue along my teeth as I continued to glare at her, my mind reeling.
Maybe she hadn’t missed his hands on my face after all and was just finding every little thing she could use to hurt me.
“You don’t know him at all,” I seethed.
“Neither do you. Whatever you think he is, it’s only because he’s away from everything out here. The minute he’s away from here, away from you, you’ll see. You mean nothing to him.”
“And the five minute conversation you had with him earlier today immediately makes you soul mates, doesn’t it?”
“No, but it makes us pretty damn close. You have no idea what we talked about, Isabella.”
And the way she jutted her chin out, squared her shoulders and sat up a little straighter in that damn chair of hers made me want to kill her. My fingertips twitched against my sides and my nostrils flared as I fought to control the temper only she could bring to a boil.
“And it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me,” I said, my voice low. “You have the fantasy of what he is in your head. I know better; I have who he really is and one insignificant conversation with you is not going to change that.”
“You’re not enough for him,” she snarled, leaning forward to slap her palms on the counter in between us and slowly rise up out of the chair. “You’re not pretty enough or talented enough or smart enough or good enough to be with someone like him. He’ll drop you on your ass just as quickly as he did the rest and he won’t think twice about it. You’re entertainment and anyone can see that.”
I clenched my jaw together and took a deep breath through my nose as I continued to glare at her, my hands clenched into fists at my sides.
It would’ve been so easy to snap my hand back and have it land perfectly on her fake nose if I wasn’t her boss.
“You know nothing,” I hissed.
“We’ll see.”
Without saying another word, I stormed back up the stairs and slammed the door to my office closed before leaning back against it and unclenching my hands.
I should’ve been downstairs, helping the pitiful dribble of customers that were searching through the books I’d put my heart and soul into finding and dutifully ignoring Jessica as she sat at her perch, not letting her words eat through my brain and making me doubt Edward.
I knew him. I knew that I knew him. I knew who he really was because I wasn’t like her. I wasn’t out for fame and the chance to say that I fucked
But those words; those five, tiny words that held so much truth – “You’re not enough for him” – were burning through my stomach, into the backs of my eyes and down my cheeks.
Oh, yes, I knew how true they were.
~*~
By the time the day had come to a close and I was parked in my driveway, I felt more than defeated. The day hadn’t gotten any better after my confrontation with Jessica and even though I had one of the most wonderful things to look forward to upon being home, not even that could perk me up.
I’d stopped crying after about fifteen minutes, pulled myself together and had boldly walked back downstairs in an attempt to be the sophisticated, professional owner of the bookstore that was more than half empty on most days.
The paperwork that was always hanging over my head had finally been finished a few moments before I’d gotten called downstairs, so I really didn’t have that good of an excuse for hiding up there for the rest of the day no matter how much it may have been warranted.
Her words kept ringing through my head. No matter what I tried thinking about or how happy I tried to be about spending the night with Edward, nothing worked. They were seared into my mind, taunting me and daring me to deny them.
I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t deny what was obviously the truth no matter how much I really wanted to.
Lazily reaching over, I grabbed my purse and pushed open the truck door, sliding down from the seat and sluggishly making my way to my front porch.
My eyes landed on a white piece of paper taped to the door and I swallowed hard, slowly reaching up to grab it.
Bella-
I’m doing the cooking tonight. All you need to do is show up. Soon.
Edward
I choked on the unexpected sob that sounded through my lips and hastily shoved the key into the lock before I leaped into the house and slammed the door behind me.
He was cooking for me. He was cooking and he was waiting for me to show up. He wanted me there and all I could think about was how horrible of a match I was for him.
Fucking Jessica Stanley, acting all high and mighty and actually having the nerve to be right about something that had meant the world to me two minutes before she opened her damn mouth.
I growled, throwing my purse and the note on the floor next to me angrily before stomping my way up the stairs and into my joke of a bedroom.
I ripped through my dresser, throwing a clean pair of panties and a pair of jeans onto the mostly deflated air mattress behind me before whirling around to my closet and tearing through the hangers in search of a shirt.
She would not be right about this. She couldn’t be right about this. Not when I felt this way about him, not when I’d finally been happy after so long of being simply pacified with a boring relationship, and not when I had such a limited amount time with him. No, she was not going to steal this away from me.
Snatching a light blue long-sleeved t-shirt off the hanger, I draped it over my arm before grabbing the duffel bag on the shelf above me, amazed that it was still there at all.
I had a duffel bag. I had no bed, but at least I had a damn duffel bag.
Growling again, I snapped the closet doors closed and walked over to the air mattress, hastily shoving all of my clothes into the bag before walking into the bathroom across the hall.
Grabbing everything I’d need for one night, I threw all of that in the bag as well, zipping it and stomping down the stairs.
I deserved to have something good in my life. I deserved to have Edward in my life. I knew who he really was; the glitz and the glamour that surrounded him on a nearly daily basis when he left our town didn’t make a damn bit of difference to me. He was merely Edward Cullen; the compassionate, caring, sweet guy that had for some reason picked me.
Out of all the women that he could choose from, he chose me.
I stopped, halfway to the front door with the bag slung over my shoulder as I swallowed hard.
Why did he choose me? What did he even see in me? I was ordinary, clumsy and boring. None of those qualities could ever measure up to someone that he should be with.
She was right. I wasn’t good enough for him.
Swallowing hard again, I slowly started walking back to the front door, bending down to scoop up my purse and keys before locking the door behind me and stepping out onto the porch.
And I still wanted to be with him despite all of that. I still wanted to spend the time he had left here with him. If it was the only chance at the sort of happiness I felt when I was with him that I’d ever get again then I didn’t want to waste it.
I was only setting myself up to get massively hurt, but if I had the opportunity to feel what I’d never felt with Jake then I was going to take it.
I pulled the lapels of my coat tighter around me as I made my way across the street and up the steps to his porch, standing in front of his door and taking a deep breath.
I knocked, shifting uneasily as I listened to his hasty footsteps on the other side of the door. I smirked, shaking my head and looking down at my feet.
For now, at least, he didn’t see that I wouldn’t be enough for him later on down the line.
The door flew open and before I could really comprehend much of anything, I was in his arms and his lips were against mine.
I let my duffel bag and purse fall to the floor as he closed the door behind me, one of his arms still tightly wrapped around me as I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck.
“Missed you,” he breathed before kissing me again, his mouth urgent against mine.
I pressed myself against him, running my tongue along his bottom lip and eagerly meeting his when his mouth opened underneath mine.
My heart simultaneously seemed to crack a little and speed up at his words and I tangled my hands in his hair, pressing his face as close to mine as it could possibly get.
I wasn’t going to waste this. I would take everything that he was willing to give to me without complaining and without asking for more because I didn’t know when I’d be cut off from it.
“We’d better eat,” he breathed again, backing away slightly. He kept one arm around my waist and I finally noticed that he was holding a wooden spoon with the other. “Or you may never make it past the front door.”
I smiled, nodding at the spoon in his hand and he laughed, leaning down to kiss my cheek before leading me into the dining room, stopping me just outside the kitchen’s doorway.
There was a red fabric tablecloth covering the table, an open bottle of white wine sitting in what looked to be a sterling silver bucket, two engraved wine glasses sitting next to it, two unlit white candles sitting in what were also probably sterling silver candle holders and a bouquet of red roses sitting in the middle of the whole presentation.
“Oh,” I whimpered, pressing my palms against my stomach, my eyes beginning to water.
“Is it too much? I can get rid of it,” he said quietly, rushed.
I grabbed his wrist as he reached for one of the candle sticks and shook my head, turning around to face him again.
“No, don’t.” I shook my head at him, taking a deep breath and smiling shakily at him. “No one’s ever done this for me before.”
I watched him relax as he smiled back and reached up to brush a piece of hair out of my eyes.
“Idiots,” he said simply, running his thumb over my cheek before letting his hand fall to his side again. “You deserve this and so much more.”
The tears only got worse, one actually sliding down my cheek as I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and buried my face in his chest.
“Honestly, Bella, I can make it all disappear,” he said nervously, both of his arms wrapping tightly around me.
“No,” I sniffled, shaking my head and resting my cheek on his chest, staring at the phone. “It’s just so much more than I expected and I…”
“What? Bella, you’ve got to talk to me,” he whispered into my ear, rubbing soothing circles on my back as I trailed off. “I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re doing everything right.”
Too right, almost. Like this was a practiced move that he used on everyone he dated. Roses, wine, candles and dinner all probably meant the same thing to him; a night ending with a satisfying romp in his bed before he kicked me out in the morning and never called me again.
I closed my eyes tightly, burying my nose into his chest and taking deep gulps of air, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt in my hands.
I had never hated Jessica Stanley more than I hated her right now. How dare she ruin something that was so new and in that beautiful perfection stage at the beginning of a relationship? What gave her the right to say those things when she knew nothing about either of us?
“So what’s wrong? Bella, please,” he pleaded, grabbing my face in his hands and stroking my cheeks until I finally opened my eyes. “You have to tell me what’s wrong or I’m going to lose my mind.”
“Why do you want to be with me?” I whispered, fighting off the sob that threatened and watching him closely. “Why do you want me?”
He watched me for a few agonizing seconds before leaning down to rest his forehead on mine.
“Yesterday when we were sitting in the parking lot of Price Chopper and I was having a very small panic attack at the thought of having to go back in there,” he said softly, licking his lips, “you saw it. You saw it and you took my hand,” he reached behind us to grab one of my hands in his, “and you said that you were the only one that knew. You didn’t laugh at me or tell me that I was just being paranoid.”
He brought our hands in between us, twining our fingers together and backing away slightly to place a kiss on my ring finger.
“You make me dinner,” he continued, placing another kiss on my middle finger. “You argue with me.”
He laughed softly at that for some reason I didn’t quite understand and kissed my pointer finger.
“You don’t want to bother me with alarm clocks and you gave up your vacation time to save my serenity. You brought me pizza, chicken wings and beer.”
He laughed again, shaking his head before placing one more kiss on the back of my hand and returning his forehead to mine.
“You’ve never treated me any differently than any of your other friends. I’ve never been an actor to you; I’ve always just been your neighbor and you have no idea how much that means to me.”
He kissed me then, his lips moving softly across mine before he backed away and squeezed my hand.
“Those are only a few of the reasons why I want to be with you, Bella. I could go on if you want…” He smirked at me, holding our hands against his chest. “But I may never be able to stop and I think I’m burning our dinner.”
I laughed, the tears in my eyes now there for a completely different reason as I squeezed his hand and leaned up to kiss him once more.
“Okay.”
He kissed me again before untangling his hand from mine and grabbing the spoon I’d forgotten about from the table. I followed him into the kitchen, raising an eyebrow at the mess he’d made on every available inch of counter space.
I rubbed my eyes, clearing them of tears before leaning my hip against the counter and watching as he stirred what looked like spaghetti in a pot on the stove.
“Do I dare ask what you’re making?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs,” he confirmed proudly, looking over at me as he flicked off the burner and grabbed the handle of the pot. “I really don’t know how to make much else.”
I laughed at him, shaking my head as he walked to the sink and poured the noodles into the strainer sitting inside.
“I could’ve made something.”
“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head as he batted the steam away from his face fruitlessly.
I stifled a laugh and bit my bottom lip.
“It’s my turn to do something for you.”
“You just got me a week’s vacation.”
He turned and rolled his eyes at me, setting the steaming pot back on the stove before yanking open the oven door and grabbing a pair of royal blue oven mitts from a drawer next to him.
“Doesn’t count.” He grabbed a tray of lopsided meatballs out of the stove and set it on the burners next to the empty pot. “You do more than enough for me. It’s my turn.”
“If you insist.”
He set the pot holders back in the drawer, closing it before turning to me, his lips pursed.
“Why would you ask me something like that?”
I shifted uneasily, biting my bottom lip and crossing my arms over my chest. Acting dumb and only prolonging the inevitable was pointless; I knew what he was talking about and he had every right to want to know.
It didn’t mean that I wanted to answer it any more than I wanted to pull each strand of hair out of my head, but he had the right to know why his girlfriend of forty-eight hours already doubted him.
“I just…” I started, taking a deep breath and looking down at my feet yet again.
I’d really need to get a new pair of shoes to stare at; my worn in white tennis sneakers were really not that interesting.
“I’m not like the girls out in
He was silent and I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for the same words Jessica had spoken earlier to hit my ears as they left his lips.
“Why do you think I’d want you to be?” he finally asked softly. “You are… Bella, look at me.”
I shook my head, digging my fingertips into my sides as I clutched onto whatever was left of my pride.
Not that there was all that much left at this point, but there was a tiny little bit that I was still managing to cling on to.
I let out a strangled cry when I felt his hand on my chin, lifting my head and forcing me to look at him.
“You are what I’ve been searching for,” he whispered, framing my face with his hands once he’d gotten my attention. “I didn’t realize it before but now that I finally have, there’s no reason to look anymore.”
To any normal, secure girl, those words would’ve been perfect. They would’ve sealed whatever deal we’d silently made with each other and there would never be a need for any other stupid questions.
I am not a normal, secure girl. I never have been and I probably never will be. Dating the epitome of damn near perfection wasn’t going to make that any better, either.
“You’re not just saying that to make me not feel like an idiot?”
“You said you trusted me,” he whispered and sounded as though he might’ve been in pain.
“No, Edward, I do!” I said quickly, stepping forward to close the gap in between us and grabbing onto his waist. “I do.”
“Then trust me on this.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me against him. “I want to be with you. I’ll never tell you anything that isn’t true, and I’ll never leave you for anyone else because quite honestly, everyone else has stopped existing to me.” He pressed his lips against my forehead, absently trailing his fingers through my hair. “Trust me, Bella.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, closing my eyes again and taking a deep breath through my nose.
“Okay,” I said weakly, swallowing hard.
“Okay,” he echoed, not moving from me. “Now what do you say to some food?”
I opened my eyes, looked directly into his and nodded when I saw the slight smirk on his face. His eyes looked haunted despite the way he kept the smirk carefully in place and I wanted to kick myself for tainting what should’ve been an absolutely perfect night.
Yes, he did deserve more than me. He deserved someone beautiful, confident and someone who could give him everything that he’d ever need without question. I wanted to be that person for him. More than anything in the world, I wanted to be the one woman in his life that he couldn’t ever leave or get bored with.
But I wasn’t delusional and I wasn’t going to kid myself into thinking that I could be that woman for him. I knew who I was and Bella Swan had never been any of the things someone like Edward Cullen needed.
But he wanted me for now. He knew who I was and he wanted me anyway. So I’d keep my mouth shut and enjoy what parts of himself that he was willing to give to me.
I stepped up on my toes, capturing his top lip in between mine for a moment before stepping back down and answering his smirk with one of my own.
“Sounds good.”
He kissed me again, his lips soft and calm against mine before slowly backing away and turning to go back to the food.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I leaned against the counter again and watched him silently mix the meatballs in with the spaghetti.
And then, without taking his eyes off the food in front of him, he reached out to me with his free hand, palm up. I took one step toward him, placing my hand in his and twisting our fingers together. He tugged on my hand, pulling me closer until I was tucked underneath his arm, pressed up against his side.
“Tell me if it tastes horrible, okay? I’ve got some Bagel Bites in the freezer that I’m a pro at sticking in the microwave.”
I laughed, burying my nose into his chest and wrapping my free arm around his waist.
And in that moment, I decided that I wasn’t going to let Jessica Stanley’s bitterness take away from something that should be easy and effortless. Something that I’d wanted in some form or another without realizing it until a few days ago had actually happened for me and bringing him down into everything that was bothering me wasn’t fair.
No, I still wasn’t good enough for him and no, I probably never would be. But despite all of that, he wanted me. He wanted me and he made me happy and I wasn’t going to let someone else determine my relationship for me.
“I’m pretty sure it’s perfect,” I said softly, looking up at him.
He looked down at me and smiled brightly, squeezing my hand.
“I hope you can still say that after you’ve tasted it.”
“How can you screw this up? Come on,” I laughed. “It’s a simple dish.”
“I’ve never done anything simply, Bella. I’ve always made things way too difficult.”
“Well that’s your own fault, isn’t it?”
I laughed loudly when his jaw fell open and he immediately dropped the wooden spoon into the spaghetti.
“You’re supposed to be supportive!” he finally managed, shaking his head at me.
“You said it! I’m agreeing to it.”
“You’re not supposed to!”
I laughed again, twirling out of his arms and walking into the dining room to grab the bottle of wine and pour some into one of the wine glasses.
“She insults me and then drinks my wine,” he grumbled from behind me. “I see how it is.”
I slowly turned on my heel, carefully balancing the glass of wine in my hand as I watched him reach into a cabinet to grab two plates and set them on the counter.
“It’s very good wine,” I commented after taking a sip. “Trying to get me drunk so that it’s easier to get me into bed?”
He raised an eyebrow at me as he scooped a massive amount of spaghetti onto a plate.
“Would I need wine to get you into bed?”
All the muscles in my stomach seemed to turn into nothing but mush and I quickly took another sip of wine, watching him over the rim.
“No,” I admitted quietly, concentrating very carefully on keeping my hands steady. “You wouldn’t.”
I felt a little better when he had to scramble to keep from dropping the spoon and, as calmly as I possibly could, I took another sip of wine.
“I didn’t…” He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “I want you to know that I didn’t invite you over for the night just to have sex with you. I really do want you to get some sleep.”
The grin that lit up my face was probably very comical, but I couldn’t help it. I’d thought about it, but hadn’t had much of a chance to really dwell on it with Jessica’s words screaming in my head.
Some things just stuck out more than others.
“I…”
He dropped the spoon back into the strainer and walked back over to me. He took the glass out of my hands and set it on the table behind me before taking both of my hands in his.
“You’re important to me,” he said softly. “And I don’t want to rush anything between us. When the time is right…”
I nodded, shaking my hands free of his to reach up and run them through his hair, still grinning like an idiot when he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him.
“Perfect,” I said quietly.
He just smiled at me, leaning forward to press another chaste kiss against my lips before turning back to the food and finally getting it to the table without anymore interruptions.
Dinner was great. It wasn’t burned and even though he’d been halfway to the freezer after he’d taken the first bite to get the Bagel Bites he’d mentioned before, I’d convinced him to do otherwise.
He was nervous and it made me feel a hell of a lot better about everything. I wasn’t the only one who was worried about everything we were getting wrapped up in and it felt really good to know that.
I’d insisted on doing the dishes, completely ignoring him and twisting out of his reach as he tried to grab them out of my hands. Really, it wasn’t all that hard to gather everything and put it in the state of the art dishwasher he owned.
He was adamant that I not do anything for the rest of the night, though. He made me sit in the living room with a glass of wine while he put whatever we didn’t eat back in the refrigerator, the remote that could’ve controlled half of the world in my hand. Not that I knew what the hell to do with it.
Honestly, we didn’t even watch anything when he finally joined me. He had his own glass of wine but was quick to put it and mine on the coffee table before grabbing my face in his hands and firmly planting his lips against mine.
Not that I was complaining. One thing I’d realized that I really loved was having his lips against mine, his tongue in my mouth and his hands either on my face or his arms around me for a prolonged amount of time.
And when I felt my eyes drooping closed without my permission, he laughed at me and cradled me in his arms, managed to grab my duffel bag on our way towards the stairs and carried me into his bedroom to plop me on his bed.
He’d kissed me once more, laughing when I locked my arms around his neck in a pathetic attempt to drag him down with me.
“Don’t tempt me,” he whispered, kissing my cheek before standing up straight and walking over to his wardrobe. “I’ll let you get changed.”
I lay back on his bed for a moment after he’d disappeared out of the room, reveling in the fact that I was not only going to be sleeping in an actual bed for the night, but I’d be sleeping in an actual bed with Edward.
Yawning, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and grabbed the duffel bag he’d dropped onto the floor next to me.
I rooted around in it as I set it on the bed, my face heating immediately as I realized the one outfit I’d forgotten to pack.
How did I forget to bring something to sleep in?
Oh, wait, I was too busy fuming and being emotional about my damn associate at work and what she’d said to remember that I’d actually need something to sleep in.
Sighing heavily, I set the duffel bag back on the floor and walked to the door, yanking it open and walking towards the stairs.
“Running out on me, are you?”
I jumped, grabbing onto the banister before I fell down the stairs and turned to see Edward standing in the doorway to the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pajama pants as he leaned casually against the doorjamb.
No shirt. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and the damn near perfect planes of his chest and stomach had drool pooling in my mouth.
Fuck, my boyfriend was gorgeous.
“Uhm,” I mumbled as I swallowed, not able to tear my eyes away from every perfectly sculpted curve and bump along his torso. “I… I forgot something.”
“What’s that?”
My ability to speak coherently for extended amounts of time.
“Something to sleep in,” I said sheepishly, laughing nervously as I forced my eyes up to meet his. “I had a lot on my mind earlier.”
He snickered at me before pushing off of the doorjamb and motioning with his head towards the bedroom.
“I really need to go get something to wear.”
“Bella, it’s negative five outside,” he laughed, walking over to me and grabbing my hand to pull me along with him. “I’m not letting you go out there.”
“But what am I…?”
“I have something you can wear. Relax,” he commanded, laughing when I finally let go of my death grip on the banister to follow him.
I watched as he walked over to his wardrobe again, pulling open one of the bottom drawers and coming out with a long white t-shirt with the number twenty-three in dark blue on the front.
“Did you play sports?” I asked, taking it from him when he offered it to me.
I turned it around, smiling dumbly at the ‘CULLEN’ that was arched across the shoulder blades.
“I tried,” he laughed, shrugging. “I was the worst third baseman there ever was.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Oh, trust me,” he laughed again, kissing my forehead before disappearing again. “Let me know when you’re ready.”
I shamelessly watched the muscles ripple in his back as he walked out the door, unconsciously licking my lips slowly as he closed it behind him.
Oh, I was ready, all right.
Taking a deep breath, I quickly undressed and pulled the shirt over my head, wrapping my arms around myself and grinning stupidly.
I was wearing his shirt. And it was altogether possible that he’d never get it back, either.
“You can come in now!” I called out, biting my bottom lip as I walked over to the bed and stood next to the side he’d plopped me on a few minutes ago.
The door opened again and he poked his head in, smiling widely when his eyes landed on me.
“Hm,” he mumbled, pushing open the door all the way and slowly walking over to the other side of the bed. “That works for you.”
“I was thinking that you’re not gonna get it back, actually.”
He raised an eyebrow as he pulled down the blankets on his side, watching intently as I did the same on my side.
“Really?”
I nodded, carefully sliding one of my legs underneath the blankets and sitting down on the cool sheets, turning to look over at him.
My back and hips were already rejoicing at the feeling of something completely solid underneath me and I wanted to moan, throw my head back and bury myself into the sheets.
But I’m pretty sure that would’ve given Edward the wrong impression and as much as the both of us may have wanted that, it was probably too soon.
Probably. Maybe.
I watched as he slid underneath the blankets as well, pulling them over his lap and tilting his head at me.
“Really.”
“I’ll only agree to that if you only wear it here.” He leaned over, his lips a breath away from mine as he continued speaking. “Meaning that you have to spend every night with me... starting now.”
“Alarm clock,” was all I managed to sputter out.
“I don’t care, Bella,” he whispered, gently brushing his lips across mine. “I want you here.” He kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly. “For as long as you can be.”
I slid my other leg underneath the covers and scooted closer to him, placing my hands on his knees over the simple black comforter.
“I do have my own house, you know.”
“Yes, but you don’t have a bed. And I want you here,” he whispered, reaching up to tangle his hand in the ends of my hair. “Plus, my shirt looks really fucking good on you.”
I laughed, reaching up to place my elbow on his shoulder and tangle one of my hands in his hair.
“Feels good, too.”
I heard the low moan from him and had to swallow hard, my breathing starting to speed up as I felt the slight tug on the ends of my hair, signaling that he’d curled his hand into a fist.
“We should sleep,” he mumbled. “You’re tired.”
And as much as I wanted to dispute that, it was true. Of course, if this kept going and went in the direction I really wanted it to go, the exhaustion every part of me felt would be nonexistent.
“I can stay awake,” I mumbled back, kissing him.
“You’re here to sleep.” He took a deep breath and his hand fell out of my hair as he backed away slightly. “Plus,” he laughed breathlessly, “you’re going to be here every night so we have plenty of time to… stay awake.”
I chuckled, removing my hand from his hair and dropping it back onto his knee.
“You’re sure the alarm clock won’t bother you when I need it?”
He sighed heavily, narrowing his eyes at me. “Bella…”
“I just want to make sure!” I exclaimed, holding both of my hands up in the air. “I don’t want to…”
He cut me off with his lips on mine, pushing me back onto the bed and rolling part of his body on top of mine. I whimpered, my hands immediately wrapped around his neck as I opened my mouth to his and arched my back.
“It’s getting really hard to stop there,” he breathed, sitting back up and pulling me with him. “So please just stay, Bella.”
And really, there was no arguing with that. His eyes were pleading with me and the thought of seeing and being with him every single night until he had to leave really was turning out to be too good to pass up.
I ran the back of my hand down his cheek, nodding.
“You’re stuck with me now.”
He smiled and turned his head, grabbing my hand and placing a gentle kiss on my palm.
“I don’t want it any other way.” He leaned over again, curling his fingers around my hand as he kissed me. “Let’s go to sleep.”
He turned off the light and we sunk down into the bed, meeting in the middle and quick to tangle ourselves together. And as soon as I’d closed my eyes after he kissed me and whispered goodnight, I was asleep.
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