Saturday, August 1, 2009

Thirteen

*Edward*

I groaned loudly and unhappily, burying my face even further into the back of Bella’s neck when I heard the alarm go off the next morning. She hummed, reaching behind her to place her hand on the back of my head as I heard her yawn.

“Gotta get up,” she mumbled, gently scraping her nails down the back of my head.

I shivered, my arms tightening around her waist as I threw one of my legs over both of hers.

“No,” I mumbled, dipping my head slightly to place a gentle kiss against the back of her neck.

She laughed groggily, dragging her hand out of my hair and down my cheek, yawning again as she turned over. She reached over me and I heard her slapping at the alarm a few times before it shut off, returning her arm back underneath the covers and snuggling against me.

“I have to go to work and you need to drive Alice to the airport,” she whispered, gently nudging her nose against mine.

I slowly opened my eyes to meet hers, a smile immediately forming on my lips and my arms tightening around her waist again.

This was how I wanted to wake up every day for the rest of my life; tangled up in her and completely content. She was the first and last person I wanted to see every day.

“She can get a cab,” I mumbled, gently rubbing my thumbs against her back. “And you should just close for the day. You won’t be missing anything.”

She laughed softly, her voice still a little groggy as she rubbed the end of her nose against mine again.

“She would never let you live it down if you made her take a cab and I can’t close today. There’s only about two weeks until Christmas and I can’t afford to close.”

The small stab to my heart almost made me wince. Two weeks until Christmas meant that it was only a week and a few days until I had to get on a plane and fly to Washington without Bella.

“Yeah,” I said softly, gently brushing my lips across hers. “It was a nice thought, though.”

She smiled and brought her hand out from the under the blankets to place it on my neck, gently running her thumb across my jaw.

“Four more days and you’re stuck with me for an entire week.”

I smiled again, nodding enthusiastically.

“What ever am I gonna do with you?”

She laughed and shrugged, her thumb still tracing my jaw as she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss against my lips.

“You seemed to have a reason for getting me that vacation, so it’s totally up to you.”

I grinned at her and she laughed loudly, ducking her head and burying her nose into my chest. I placed my chin on the top of her head, taking a deep breath as I pulled her even tighter against me when her hand fell from my neck and back under the blankets.

God, I never wanted to let her go.

“We’ll see where it takes us, how does that sound?” I asked softly, leaning down to press a kiss against her forehead before resting my chin back on her head.

“Yeah,” she yawned, looking up at me again. “So what are you gonna do for the rest of the day?”

My breath caught in my throat as she ran her fingertips over my abs and my hands bunched into fists against her back.

“Uhm,” I managed, closing my eyes tightly.

She had to know what she was doing to me. She was entirely too good at rendering me completely speechless and breathless not to.

“Enjoy the silence,” I breathed out.

“She wasn’t that bad.”

She trailed her fingers up and down, finding the grooves I was forced to work hard for thanks to the personal trainer from hell Jeannie insisted I needed and I barely bit back a moan.

“You were at work while she tortured me,” I breathed, my heart pounding in my ears as I leaned into her touch. “I’m going to love the peace and quiet.”

“In that case, maybe I should spend the night at my own place.”

My eyes popped open and I quickly flipped her on her back, rolling on top of her and settling easily between her legs.

I had to bite my lip – hard – to keep that moan from sounding out of my throat.

God damn, she felt amazing against me.

“Why?” I finally managed when the urge to find out what else felt pretty damn good against me had abated.

“So that you can fully enjoy your peace and quiet,” she said simply, shrugging her shoulders and smiling innocently up at me.

She reached up to wrap her arms around my neck, her fingers dancing along the back of it.

I stared down at her, somewhere between wanting to laugh hysterically and cry my damn eyes out in total frustration.

Instead, I dipped my head and kissed a trail to her ear, sucking the bottom into my mouth. I smiled triumphantly at the small whimper that sounded out of her mouth and gently scraped my teeth against the edge of her ear.

“You are my peace,” I whispered.

She arched her back slightly when I ran my tongue along the bottom of her ear, her hands twisting into my hair.

“I can’t enjoy it if you aren’t around.”

“I… hm,” she hummed, her nails gently scraping against the back of my head. “Edward.”

“Yes?” I asked innocently, moving away from her ear to kiss down her neck and onto her throat.

“I… you need to… oh, Christ.”

“Yes, love?” I whispered, kissing up her throat until I reached her chin.

“I have to do laundry tonight!” she blurted out, her breathing still uneven.

I laughed, throwing my head back and rolling off of her to stare up at the ceiling.

“What in the hell does that have to do with anything?”

I looked over at her to see that she had merely turned her head to look over at me, her cheeks red as she bit her bottom lip.

“I, uh… well… I don’t really know.”

“Bella,” I laughed softly, turning on my side to face her. “I’m just trying to get you to stop running back to your own damn house.”

She smiled and turned on her side as well, resting her head on the pillow and reaching up to trail her fingertips up and down my arm.

“I wasn’t actually going to go,” she clarified. “Just like to see you squirm.”

“Mhmm,” I mumbled, grinning as I grabbed her hand and twined our fingers together. “Well, it works both ways, my love.”

“So I see.”

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers.

“So it’s laundry tonight, huh?” I asked, backing away only to rest my forehead against hers.

“Yeah,” she sighed heavily, kissing me again. “It seems that I’ve run out of clean clothes.”

“Can’t have that,” I mumbled, merely pushing forward as she pulled away from me and keeping her lips against mine. “I don’t have a washer or dryer here.”

“Are you serious?”

I nodded, kissing her again.

I would gladly spend the rest of my life kissing her if there was any way that I could’ve. Hell, I would’ve stayed right here for the rest of eternity if it was at all possible. I never wanted to move.

“I’ve never been here long enough to have to worry about it.”

“Do you need to do laundry?”

I shrugged a shoulder, grunting as I kissed her again.

“Probably.”

She laughed and gently pushed me away from her, shaking her head as I pouted at her.

“All right, I know what we’re doing tonight. You, me, our laundry, my house, seven-thirty tonight; got it?”

Our laundry, huh?”

Even that stupid little word – our – had my heart fluttering embarrassingly in my chest. Just to hear it and know that she was including me as if everything we owned was already twisted together was enough to make me feel like I was flying.

“Yes,” she laughed, nodding. “I will not have a dirty boyfriend.”

I grinned and pulled her against me again, burying my face into her hair as she continued to laugh and wrap herself around me again.

“Can’t have that, either.”

“No, we can’t.” She laughed and placed a lingering, small, soft kiss against my chest, once again successful in stealing away any and all abilities I may have possessed at one point in time to make my jaw form words. “And until then, we need to get up.”

Before I could react properly, she’d rolled away from me and was out of the bed, swinging open the door to reveal Alice standing on the other side.

Bella screamed in surprise and I groaned, grabbing her pillow and placing it over my head.

And the morning had been going so well…

“Morning, Bella! I made you coffee,” she chirped.

“T-Thanks, Alice. I’m uhm…”

“Come with me!”

I visibly flinched and threw the pillow across the room, sitting up straight and staring hard at Alice.

“No!”

She rolled her eyes, placing her hands on Bella’s shoulders and leading her across the hallway.

I knew what she was doing. I knew what she planned on doing and I didn’t want her to even think about it. Not with Bella, not this early in the morning and not when I’d been so damn relaxed a second ago.

The last thing I wanted Alice to do was scare Bella away. After all the shit we already had to deal with, this wasn’t something anyone in my life should have to go through.

Alice,” I warned, quickly flinging the blankets off my legs and standing up.

“Get dressed, Edward! My flight leaves at eight!” she called out over her shoulder before leading Bella into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind the both of them.

I lunged for the doorknob only to find that the conniving little twit had locked it already.

Alice, it’s too early for this! Bella, I’m sorry!” I called out, pounding on the door once.

I heard them mumbling quietly on the other side before I heard the lock flip and Bella’s head popped out, a small reassuring smile on her face.

“It’s okay,” she laughed, reaching one arm out to place it on my cheek. “We’ll be fine.”

“I’m…”

“Edward,” she laughed, opening the door a little further to lean up and kiss me. “Go get dressed, okay? You’ve got a long day ahead of you.”

“So do you,” I mumbled, grabbing her wrist and holding her in place long enough for me to kiss her again. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this, too.”

“Girl talk,” she said quietly, stroking her thumb across my cheek. “It’s fine.”

“You promise?” I asked, rubbing my thumb across the underside of her wrist and leaning my forehead against hers.

“I promise.”

“Can I at least have my toothbrush then?”

She laughed and before she could even move, Alice had thrown both my toothbrush and toothpaste over her head and out into the hallway. I pursed my lips as I heard them hit the wall and then fall to the floor behind me.

“Thank you, Alice,” I said dryly.

“No problem, big brother. Now let go of Bella and go do whatever it is that you do in the mornings.”

I groaned and Bella laughed, kissing me again before gently prying her wrist out of my hand and closing the door.

I huffed, turning around and grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste from the floor before walking downstairs.

Oh, yes, it was definitely going to be a very long day.

~*~

Alice! We have to go!” I yelled up the stairs an hour later. “You’re going to miss your damn flight!”

Bella had left for work about twenty minutes ago – with a bright smile on her face, pin straight hair and some kind of shiny gloss on her lips that tasted faintly like raspberries - and Alice had yet to actually come back downstairs. I don’t know what the hell she was doing, but if we didn’t leave the house in the next ten minutes, Alice was spending another night here.

And I really didn’t want that. I had plans with Bella and Bella only tonight – my sister was not allowed to ruin the rest of the limited time I had with my girlfriend.

“I’m leaving some stuff for Bella! I’ll be down in a minute! Did you get my stuff packed in the car?”

“Yes!” I yelled, instantly annoyed. “Your shit is in the car!”

She hadn’t even asked if I would put her mammoth suitcases back in the car; no, she’d actually ordered me to put them there.

I’d never been so close to murdering her as I was right now. I’d never be able to go home to my family ever again, but at this point, I began thinking that it might be worth it in the end.

Alice!” I yelled again, listening carefully to hear her absurdly high heels sounding on the floors above me. “We need to go!”

“Do you really want to get rid of me that quickly, big brother?” she yelled back.

“Yes, princess, I do!”

I winced when I heard shattering sounds from above me and groaned, leaning forward against the banister and resting my head in my hands.

“Whoops!” I heard her sarcastically exclaim.

I fisted my hands in my hair and pulled, closing my eyes tightly and taking deep, even breaths in a sad effort to calm the raging urge to go up there and throw her out of the bedroom window.

The wrath I’d have to deal with from Jasper and the rest of my family would probably be very much worth it if I didn’t have to deal with this anymore.

But the feel of my fingers in my hair made my head snap up.

I needed my hat. There was no fucking way in hell that I was going out in public without it. Especially when Alice had managed to annoy me beyond belief; the last thing I needed was to get a hysterical email from Jeannie asking why the hell I attacked an innocent fan in an airport.

Hell, there wouldn’t be a point in going back to California either. I’d have to stay here.

A grin lit up my face as I damn near skipped to the front door and grabbed my jacket off of the rocking chair.

I could stay here with Bella. I could always be with her. There would be no need to leave and no need to put myself through the kind of torture I’d feel at being away from her for an extended amount of time.

Maybe attacking someone wouldn’t be a bad idea, after all.

“Okay, I’m ready!” Alice clicked down the stairs, her hands in the air as she walked over to me. “I hope you didn’t like that vase you had on your night stand.”

She smiled innocently as she grabbed her coat.

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t.” I smiled smugly down at her as she scowled and jabbed her arms into her coat. “But mom did.”

“Fuck,” she mumbled, snatching up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. “How much did she spend on that?”

“I have no idea, but I know it was expensive.”

She groaned again, walking out the front door ahead of me as I locked it behind me and continued to damn near skip to the car. I unlocked it, opening the back door and grabbing the bandana from where I’d thrown both it and the hat when I’d gotten back from the airport the last time.

Slamming the door, I opened the driver’s side, rolling my eyes as I saw Alice primping in the small mirror in the passenger seat.

“You just left a mirror, Alice.”

“Shut it,” she sang, slapping the visor up as she looked over at me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not going anywhere near that airport without my hat on.”

“That hat is ugly.”

“Yes, but it’ll keep us both from being mauled and deterred while trying to get you on that damn plane.”

“My visit was not that bad!” she insisted, huffing as she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted at my porch stairs.

“No,” I started flippantly as I tied the bandana at the base of my neck. “You just drove me crazy.”

“Got you to admit that you loved Bella, though.” She sat up straight in her seat, immediately smug again. “And it would’ve taken you a hell of a lot longer to do that if I wasn’t here.”

“I would’ve figured it out eventually,” I grumbled, smoothing the top of the bandana down before settling in my seat and pulling the seat belt across my lap.

“Yeah, while you were on the plane to come home.”

I growled, sticking the keys into the ignition and starting the car.

That wasn’t something I really wanted to think about right now. I didn’t want to think about me being on a plane, flying away from the only happiness I’d been able to find in a very long time without knowing exactly when I would be able to return.

But I was pretty damn sure that I would’ve put the pieces together about how I felt for Bella before that moment showed up.

“I would’ve figured it out before that, Alice. Give me a little more credit.”

“Why?” she breathed, laughing as I put the car in gear and backed out of the driveway. “You still wouldn’t know it if I wasn’t here to steer you in the right direction.”

“Not true.”

“Whatever you say,” she sang, digging her sunglasses out of her purse and quickly sliding them on her nose as I started down the road. “You are amazingly unobservant when it comes to how that woman feels about you, Edward.”

“What are you babbling on about?” I grumbled, the good mood that the thoughts of staying with Bella had put me in slowly slipping away the more Alice kept talking. “I am not.”

“Would you have realized that she loved you without hearing it from her? Would you have known that every little touch, every little smile from you makes her entire day?”

I slowly looked over at her, tilting my head to the side as I slowed the car to a stop at the end of the road.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s what I thought.”

I glared at the small house in front of us before looking up and down the street.

“Would you get on with your point, Alice?”

“We have an entire hour, Edward.” She looked pointedly at the road in front of us. “I might as well take my time with it.”

Alice!” I exclaimed, harshly gunning the engine and taking the turn a little more quickly than absolutely necessary. “I will not hesitate to wreck this car.”

“But then you’d be stuck with me for a lot longer than originally planned and plus, you wouldn’t be spending your last week with Bella like you want to. So I don’t think you’re going to do that.”

She brought her legs up and rested her feet on the dashboard in front of her and I winced.

I may have just threatened to wreck the entire car and her sharp heels resting on the dashboard were a hell of a lot better than wrapping us around a tree, but I’d still have to pay for any damage she caused with those damn things.

“Would you get on with your point then please?” I asked as nicely as I could through my teeth.

And I barely had a two week reprieve from this torture before I’d have to be sucked right back into it when I returned to Washington.

Maybe I’d just stay in New York. I could spend Christmas and the New Year with Bella. I’d tell my parents that there was just no way I’d be able to find a flight this late in the year using the excuse that I’d been so rushed to get out of California that I completely forgot about booking a different flight for the twenty-second.

I sighed and shook my head, seething in the silence that Alice had left us in with her lips twisted to the side and her pointer finger gently tapping her cheek.

My mother would never believe that I’d forgotten something like that. My father would probably fly over here to get me upon my mother’s insistence and Emmett… well, Emmett would probably be excited that he’d have more food to scarf down with me not there.

“Do you wanna know what she said to me this morning?”

“Yes,” I blurted out quickly.

In fact, it had taken a hell of a lot of sheer willpower not to march up those stairs and eavesdrop on every little thing they were talking about.

I didn’t trust my sister to be alone with Bella for long, but when she’d come down the stairs with a bright smile on her face and kissed me before she left for work, I imagined that it hadn’t been all that bad.

It didn’t keep me from wondering, of course, but I’d been satisfied that she hadn’t run out the door screaming.

“I asked her how she felt about you leaving.”

My heart sank and I quickly decided that maybe I didn’t want to hear this after all.

Alice…”

“She said that it was going to be hard and that it was going to hurt,” she talked over my protests, her pointer finger in the air as she dropped her feet thankfully back to the floorboards, “but that she loved you enough to wait for you to come back home to her.”

The snapping that I’d felt yesterday morning when I realized that I was in love with her happened again and I sucked in another deep breath, desperately wanting to turn the car around and just… find her.

Find her, gather her in my arms and never let her go anywhere ever again.

I wanted to see her. Now.

No, want wasn’t a strong enough word.

I needed to see Bella. I needed to get home to Bella. Because Bella was home to me and I didn’t want to waste anymore time than I had to being without her.

“Oh,” I breathed, my hands tightening on the steering wheel.

But I needed to see her without Alice looking over our shoulders. And I couldn’t do that without driving Alice an hour away to the damn airport first.

“See? You have no idea, Edward.” Then she sighed heavily, shaking her head sadly as she slapped my shoulder. “You two really need to tell each other how you feel and get it over with. You’re driving me crazy.”

“She only said she was falling,” I managed, clearing my throat as I relaxed my hands.

“You are an absolute moron.”

I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said dryly.

“She loves you enough to wait for you. She loves you enough. She’s in love with you, you blind, pig-headed, stubborn fool.”

“Did she tell you that?”

“She’s made it pretty obvious, Edward. A girl doesn’t usually play the best friends card unless there are some very strong feelings involved.”

“Strong feelings, but maybe not love.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You know, for someone who doesn’t appreciate being called a certain endearment, you throw insults around a hell of a lot.”

“I’m allowed,” she said innocently, shrugging her shoulders as if it made all the sense in the world.

“Of course you are,” I sighed, shaking my head.

“Edward, she loves you. And you love her. And I love her. And I love the two of you together. So stop being such a man and tell her already!”

“It has to be perfect, Alice.”

“You can make any moment perfect, Edward.” I could practically hear her rolling her eyes and rolled my own. “If you keep waiting for it, you’ll miss it.”

I didn’t say anything, realizing that she was right yet again, but refusing to acknowledge it in her presence. So we sat in silence for about a mile before I finally spoke up, hoping to get her off the subject so that she wouldn’t gloat like I knew she was doing already.

“You know, I’m sure Jasper really misses you.”

God knows, I hoped he did. Her know-it-all attitude and guessing everything right was really getting on my nerves.

I honestly don’t know how he put up with it all the time.

Two days with her and I’d wanted to kill her more times than I could count.

“I’m pretty positive that he does.”

She sat up a little straighter in the seat, smiling over at me.

And what I wouldn’t give to have the same confidence in my relationship that she has in hers. I know that everything with Bella is pretty damn solid and strong right now, but what about when I leave? Will it still be that way when I’m across the country and we won’t see each other every day?

Will she still want me the way she does now?

“And stop fucking worrying!”

She smacked my chest with the back of her hand and I gasped for air, looking over at her as I forced my lungs to start working again.

So much for trying to distract her.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea when I’m driving?” I rasped out, rubbing the spot where her wedding ring had imbedded itself into my chest for a moment.

“Don’t be a dumbass,” she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. “I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you’d just listen to me once in a while.”

“You could just give me a little bit of room to breathe on this, you know. It’s not like I’m an expert on this or anything.”

“When it’s right – and you know it’s right with her – why would you spend the limited amount of time you have with her wondering about anything? You’re going to have a hard enough time with this as it is and you want to sit around with your thumb up your ass?”

I grit my teeth together, twisting my hands around the steering wheel once the stinging in my chest subsided and my breathing evened out. I knew she was right and that’s what made it all the worse. But she couldn’t just be nice about it, could she?

“She’s going to miss you,” she said softly.

I looked over at her, my jaw relaxing as she tipped the sunglasses down on her nose.

“And she’s going to have a lot of doubts about everything. Any normal woman in this situation would, so don’t go jumping off to conclusions.”

I pressed my lips together in a hard line, looking back to the road and swallowing hard.

I didn’t want Bella to have doubts about everything. I wanted her to know that I was going to do everything that I possibly could to protect what I’d finally found with her.

“What do I do?” I asked quietly.

“Stop wasting time and worrying about things that you can control. Tell her how you feel; tell her everything that you’ve been holding back because if you don’t tell her before you leave, you’re just going to end up hurting each other.”

I didn’t want that. Being away from her and only living for phone calls at the end of each day was going to be hard enough; add in unnecessary pain and doubt on both parts and it was altogether possible that I’d just curl up into a ball and die.

“I…” I started, taking a deep breath and licking my lips. “I love her.”

“Yes, you do,” Alice stated, her voice chipper and upbeat as she slid the glasses back into place.

“I love her,” I said again, sitting up a little straighter in my seat and smiling stupidly. “I love Bella.”

“Say it as many times as you want, big brother.” She put her feet back on the dashboard and I narrowed my eyes at her pointy heels. “It doesn’t bother me.”

I sucked in another deep breath and looked back to the road, twisting my hands around the steering wheel again.

“I love Bella. I’m in love with Bella.”

“Keep going,” Alice sang, reaching over and turning up the radio.

“No, I think I’m… I love her,” I grinned, interrupting myself and relaxing my hands enough to drum my thumbs on the center of the wheel.

I couldn’t stop saying it. I wanted to, because it was really very embarrassing confessing my love for Bella with my sister sitting in the seat next to me, but I just… couldn’t.

“Is there anything other than country music on these stupid stations?” she grumbled, fidgeting with the dial.

I bit my bottom lip to keep the next confession of love from pouring out of my lips instead of the answer my sister rightfully wanted, but wasn’t able to keep the grin off my face.

I never wanted to stop feeling this way. I never wanted to be without her, I never wanted to feel any other way than the way I felt right now, and I never wanted to know what it felt like to be without her.

“I’m gonna marry her,” I breathed out, my breath coming out in a big whoosh at the impact those words had on me.

I blinked at the car that pulled out in front of me, tilting my head to the side. That wasn’t something that I expected to come out of my mouth. I hadn’t even been thinking about it.

Had I?

No. I wasn’t going to say that. I know I wasn’t going to say that.

I’d never said that before. To anyone. Not even when I was little and thought that the most perfect woman was my mother; I’d never thought of marriage to anyone before.

But, surprisingly – and although it was there floundering just underneath the surface – I wasn’t all too freaked out about it. An entire lifetime with Bella wasn’t such a bad thing to think about after all.

“Yep,” Alice chirped, nodding as she continued to fight with the radio. “I could’ve told you that.”

“That’s… well, that’s… uh… soon? Isn’t it?” I mumbled, twisting my hands around the steering wheel again.

“What did I tell you?” she sighed heavily, shaking her head at the radio as she continued to search for a station that didn’t blare country music.

I knew of one. Actually, I knew of about five, but it was way more interesting to see her get annoyed with having to go through every single station before she’d find what she wanted.

“It’s not like you’re going to propose to her tomorrow, Edward, so just know that it’ll happen one day and focus on telling her how you feel about her. Don’t think too much into it.”

“But, Alice…”

“Edward! If you think about it too much and you let it consume everything that you’re thinking about, you’re going to ruin it. Accept it,” she said, looking up at me. “And deal with it when the time is right.”

I sucked in another deep breath and nodded, relaxing my hands yet again and leaning back in the seat.

She was right. I was a professional at over-thinking things and ruining everything while I was doing it and if there was one thing in my life that I didn’t want to ruin, it was the relationship that I had with Bella.

It was the one thing that meant everything to me and I refused to let all of my stupid over-thinking tendencies ruin it.

Back or Next

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 

©2009 Stay | by TNB