Three

*Edward*

I rubbed my jaw as I stared in at the four bottles of water lingering in my refrigerator.

I didn’t even have milk. What respectable man didn’t even have milk in his refrigerator?

A man that had been eating every meal since arriving at his neighbors’ house was a man that didn’t have milk in his refrigerator.

I was planning on going yesterday to pick up what I needed, but with Jacob showing up and then having to help Bella around the house for the rest of the night, my plans for that had been shot.

Not that I’d really been all that opposed to helping her around the house. For the amount of effort that went into snow blowing my driveway and making me meals, it was nice to finally be able to help her with something.

We’d spent the rest of the day in her living room, barely watching the movie she’d picked out as we ate and talked.

It was nice having someone outside of my family and small circle of friends to actually talk to. I didn’t have to answer any embarrassing questions, I didn’t have to put up a front to make sure I said everything just right for fear that it would be taken out of context and published in the next week’s tabloid and I didn’t have to pretend to be someone that everyone thought I was.

For once in longer than I cared to think about, I was myself. I laughed freely, I gave real answers and I spent time with someone that didn’t treat me any differently than she’d treat a friend.

I wouldn’t let her get up to do anything. I even helped her to the bathroom, waited in the hallway for her to open the door and escorted her back to the living room.

She found that highly embarrassing and had told me so many times on the return trip. I’d just rolled my eyes and had helped her back onto the couch, repositioning her foot on the pillow and replacing the then-melted ice before I sat down again.

I’d made dinner, following her instructions carefully as she sat on the step stool in the kitchen and when the lasagna was in the oven, hopped up onto the counter to face her and continue our conversation about what bands were worthy of our time.

We agreed on most of them and ended up in a heated debate about the ones we disagreed on.

It was like heaven.

There weren’t many people I’d talked to lately that had disagreed with me. Something about pleasing me and wanting me to like them was what my brother, Emmett, had concluded one day and ever since then, I’d been watching out for it with everyone I talked to.

I’d found that there were a lot of people that just wanted to agree with me for the sake of something to talk about. I’d get black coffee at Starbucks while home in California and the girl that would start talking to me in line – because there was always at least one - would get the same, declaring the sugar and cream only diluted the caffeine she so needed. But as soon as she thought I was out of sight, she was quick to walk back to the counter and ask for a massive amount of cream and sugar.

But Bella was all for disagreeing with me. If she didn’t like something that I did, she was the first to tell me that I must be on some type of drug. She’d insult my choice of music or books or the indie movies that I loved so much and didn’t think anything of it.

That should’ve pissed me off.

Instead, I grinned like an idiot at her, much like I’d done when she refused to come into my house upon first meeting me and quickly moved onto the next thing she probably wouldn’t like.

I liked seeing the blush creep up her neck when she realized what she’d said and thought that it might have upset me. I liked watching her nervously play with her fingers when I just kept grinning at her like I was mentally challenged. I liked when her eyes lit up when we finally agreed on liking the same thing. I liked the way her voice took on a dream-like quality when she was remembering something that meant a lot to her.

I liked it all.

We didn’t talk about Jacob or what had gone on that day. I’d seen the way her eyes had been clouded over when I’d rushed over to her earlier in the day and I honestly never wanted to see it again.

I couldn’t understand what it was that had made him break it off with her. If he thought I was interested in her, it didn’t make any damn sense to let her go if he loved her like I thought he did. He’d essentially paved the way for me if I ever wanted it and his logic of letting her go wasn’t something I’d been able to wrap my mind around.

If I had Bella, I’d hold on as tightly as possible until she was the one that pushed me away. There was no way in hell that I’d ever let go of her willingly.

If I had her.

Which I didn’t.

And I didn’t want to.

Relationships and I never worked out and the friendship I currently had with Bella wasn’t something I was willing to risk.

And as long as I kept telling myself that, I was sure that one day I’d finally agree with it.

Plus, it wasn’t like she was even looking for another relationship so soon after Jacob had rudely walked out of her life. It wasn’t like she was looking for a relationship with me.

It was smart of her, of course. I wasn’t good for anyone. My lifestyle didn’t exactly support a full-fledged relationship and Bella deserved someone that would put their whole heart and soul into something with her.

That wasn’t me and on some level, we both knew that.

Sighing heavily, I ran a hand through my hair and closed the refrigerator door. Walking to the bottom of the stairs, I slid my boots on, grabbed my keys, wallet and cell phone off the dining room table and walked into the living room to shrug my coat on.

I hated grocery shopping. I hated it with a fiery passion and even though I’d known before I’d arrived that I needed to get there soon, I hadn’t been looking forward to it.

There were always entirely too many people mulling around and gawking for me to find it even the least bit enjoyable. The local grocery stores in town were fine when I only needed a few things. Needing to fill the cabinets so that there weren’t just spider webs greeting me when I opened them meant that I needed to drive all the way to Queensbury.

Being so far out in the middle of nowhere, it was a half an hour drive and since it was nearing noon as I stepped out of the house and into the freezing air, the town was going to be busier than all hell.

Lunch hour.

Looking forlornly at Bella’s empty house, I sighed again before jogging down the stairs and unlocking the Volvo.

I knew she had to work today. She’d told me that she had to work early today when she finally kicked me out last night.

I hadn’t been in any hurry and she hadn’t actually kicked me out. But when I’d spotted her yawning and struggling to keep her eyes open, I’d grudgingly stood up and told her that I’d better be getting home.

I had a long trip and all.

She’d laughed sleepily at me and before I could think to warn her, she’d stood up and walked over to the door.

“You heal fast, don’t you?” I’d marveled, carefully watching her legs for any sign that she might be hiding the pain she was in.

“Huh? Oh.” She’d looked down at her ankle before snapping her wide eyes to mine. “Oh!”

I’d laughed at her and thoughtlessly kissed her cheek once my coat was on and the door was open. Her face had flamed red and I’d quickly ducked out of the house, berating myself on my way across the street. I heard her quiet call of thanks behind me and had lifted my arm to wave at her without turning around before dashing into my house and flattening my back against the closed front door.

I spent about ten minutes with my back pressed against it, reasoning that it wasn’t really anything more than a friendly peck on the cheek. It was thanks, really, for allowing me to invade her home for the entire day and arguing happily with me while I was there.

It was nothing more than that.

It had to be nothing more than that.

Strapping the seat belt across my waist, I stuck the key in the ignition and backed out of my driveway, quickly accelerating once I was off the street and navigating my way to the grocery store I hated.

The half hour passed quickly – it also probably had a lot to do with the fact that I was breaking the speed limit by at least twenty miles an hour – before I pulled into an empty spot near the front of the building.

The closer to the exit, the easier it was to get all of my bags in the car and get out of the parking lot before too many people caused an uproar.

I hadn’t really had that problem while here, but there was always a first time for everything. And Queensbury was a hell of a lot bigger than my small piece of serenity in Lake George; there were people everywhere.

And not all of them were as accepting as the ones in the small town I called home for a few weeks every year.

Stuffing my keys in my coat pocket and turning on my cell phone – just in case – I wrapped my coat tightly around my shoulders and stepped out of the car.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around the quiet parking lot and only noticed one brunette woman gawking at me as she stood at the trunk of her car, a full bag held in her hands as I walked closer to her.

I wanted to cringe.

I was no different than she was. Other than the fact that I had a job that made me famous, I was a regular person just like she was. I walked places, I ate the same food, and I used the bathroom just like she did.

Was there really any reason to stare at me like I had been dipped in gold?

“You’re…” I heard her breathe as I walked by.

“Yes,” I mumbled, smiling tightly at her over my shoulder as I passed. “I’m shopping.”

Her mouth snapped shut and she blushed as she quickly went back to the task of filling her trunk with groceries.

Breathing out a small sigh of relief that the woman seemed to get it so easily, I quickly walked into the building and grabbed one of the green shopping carts before pushing through the automatic doors and looking around the bakery section of Price Chopper.

Taking a deep breath, I ducked my head slightly and leaned against the handle bar of the cart, maneuvering around people and fixtures as I picked up potatoes, bread, meat and cheese.

I hunched my shoulders as I passed people. They were staring at me unabashedly, their jaws hanging open and their eyes wide as I approached the aisle they were standing at the end of.

Some of them, like the busy twenty-something standing by the cream cheese freezer, ignored me completely as she argued on her cell phone while angrily throwing things into the cart at her side.

I wanted to kiss her.

And I suddenly missed Bella. It was random and completely out of left field, but I really wanted her at my side, talking to me and forcing me to ignore the rest of the people that were staring at me as I walked up and down the aisles in search of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

I wanted her to talk to me so that I could pretend just for a minute that I wasn’t some sort of sideshow everyone in the supermarket was suddenly intent on making me out to be.

I grabbed the box of cereal I’d been looking for and threw it on top of the bagels I’d decided I wanted as I passed them.

And once I’d finally gotten everything I could possibly think that would keep me from visiting this place anytime in the next three weeks, I made my way up to the check out and stood behind a blonde that was flipping through a magazine.

I looked at the magazine rack next to her and cringed when I saw my face on the front page of Life & Style declaring that I was secretly dating Lindsay Lohan.

I moaned softly and briefly closed my eyes, shaking my head. I’d had lunch with her and her girlfriend after meeting her one night at a club and suddenly, we were the new hot couple. They’d completely disregarded the second woman sitting in between us with their hands firmly twisted together as we waited in an awkward silence for our food to arrive.

I hated the paparazzi and magazine editors almost as much as I hated grocery shopping. Most of them had no common sense, only thriving on getting the latest gossip that wasn’t even true most of the time.

The blonde looked behind her when she heard my moan and lazily turned back around before snapping her head back in my direction with wide eyes.

She slowly pointed to the magazine cover and then at me, her jaw starting to unhinge.

“Yes,” I whispered, nodding slowly and running a hand through my hair. “That is me; I am him. One in the same.”

“I didn’t… I… You’re…”

“Please,” I whispered, pleading. “Please don’t…”

Then she screamed and I dropped my head on the handle bar of my shopping cart as I groaned in earnest. I never really understood the need to scream when someone saw a celebrity right in front of them. Didn’t they realize that it didn’t accomplish anything but busting my eardrums and wanting to run away to hide in a very dark corner until everyone was gone?

I didn’t bother to look up as someone ran over to us, asking what was wrong. I didn’t even look up when more screams started sounding throughout the supermarket because it would only cause an even bigger scene to unfold.

Why a normal, thirty-something year old woman couldn’t control her screaming vocal chords I will never understand. There was nothing about me that needed to be screamed at. I could hear her just fine when she was stuttering at me before and the screaming bit she was doing now was just annoying, unnecessary and embarrassing on so many different levels.

Maybe I’d find a plastic surgeon to totally reconstruct my face. Or maybe I’ll cut off all my hair. Or maybe I’ll never leave either of my homes ever again.

Yeah, the third option sounded like a really good one.

The jumbled screams and voices begging for me to look up became one big mass inside of my head. I hated crowds when I didn’t need to be in one and even more than that, I hated that I couldn’t make a simple trip to the grocery store without that one person ruining it for me.

I’d done this each time I’d arrived in Lake George and it had never ended this way. I’d always managed to get out of the store relatively quickly and easily, never drawing much attention to myself because either people were too busy with their own lives or they didn’t want to disturb me.

I took those people for granted, it seemed. I’d had it too good for too long and this blonde woman who was still screaming at the top of her lungs as she stood in front of me was hell bent on letting me know it.

Stepping back from my cart, I worked my way through the crowd that had gathered around me and ran outside, locating my car and looking over my shoulder to see that some people had even followed me.

This was madness. For Christ’s sake, I just wanted to get some food.

Quickly getting into my car, I slammed the door shut and locked the doors, jamming the key into the ignition and taking off out of the parking lot before too many people could get too close to the car.

I bitched and yelled and grumbled my way back to Lake George, finally calming down when I reached the high school. Breathing deeply, I turned and drove down the road, spotting a familiar red truck parked on the side of the road with a familiar brunette running up the path to the only bookstore in the whole town with a mountain of books in her hands.

I smiled despite the way I was feeling and pulled up behind her, watching in my rearview mirrors to make sure that no one was going to take my door off if I opened it as I got out and leaned against the bed of her truck when she disappeared into the One More Time bookstore.

She would probably start to think that I was stalking her. It wasn’t bad enough that I not only lived next to her, but had been watching her and spending time with her since I’d arrived two days ago.

Something that I didn’t fully understand, either. I’d never felt that pull towards her that I’d felt yesterday before. I’d never found her popping into my head at inopportune times and wishing that she would be there with me when I went shopping. I’d never thought of Bella that way before now.

I blinked at the snow covered lawn in front of the bookstore and sharply shook my head.

I still wasn’t thinking of her that way. Bella was the only person in this small town that I could consider a friend and that was it. Nothing more, nothing less; Bella was my friend.

Bella had just broken up with Jacob twenty-four hours ago. She had to be nothing more than a friend to me because she still wasn’t over Jacob.

She couldn’t be.

“Edward?”

I jumped when I heard her voice and stood up straight, laughing nervously to myself.

“What are you doing here?”

She reached into the open door of the truck that I hadn’t noticed before now and came back out with another stack of books.

“I attempted to go shopping,” I sighed, absently taking the books from her arms. “It didn’t work.”

“What happened?” she asked, her voice concerned as she focused her attention completely on me.

I think I rather liked having her attention on me and me only. Add to the fact that she was actually listening and she really was concerned about me, it almost made the whole shopping excursion worth it.

Almost… but not quite. I still had no food to bring back to my house and I was already pretty damn hungry.

“I attracted a lot more attention than I originally thought possible.” Sighing again, I shook my head and jerked my chin towards the bookstore in a sad attempt to distract the both of us from the events of my day. “These going in there?”

Of all the stupid things to ask, Edward…

Of course they were going in the bookstore. They were books. Books belonged in bookstores.

When did I become such an unobservant idiot while around her?

“Uh, you may not want to do that.” She laughed nervously before trying to take the books from my hands again. “Your self-proclaimed biggest fan is sitting behind the counter.”

I cringed and almost dropped all of the books before she grabbed them with ease.

It was absolutely amazing how she could easily grab a stack of unstable books from my hands without hurting herself, but had managed to twist her ankle while kicking her ex-boyfriend’s car.

She was the biggest mystery I’d ever encountered.

“Oh.”

She nodded, biting her bottom lip as she looked between me and the bookstore’s front door.

Taking the hint, I nodded as well and stepped back from her, digging my toe awkwardly into the small mound of snow beside her truck.

“I was, uhm, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner with me tonight.”

My eyes widened as the words spilled out of my mouth and I swallowed hard, wondering where in the hell that had come from. I hadn’t been thinking about it. It hadn’t even been an option before now.

“What?” she asked, gaping at me.

“Uh,” I mumbled, reaching up to run a hand through my hair and chuckle nervously.

This hadn’t been a part of the plan. I came here to escape crowds and hole myself up in my little cabin in the middle of nowhere; not run head-first into a restaurant and cause yet another scene with Bella.

And oh, God, if they got pictures…

She’d be all over the magazine covers, questions shouted at her everywhere she went… she’d never be left alone ever again.

…All because of me.

I couldn’t let that happen. Bella didn’t deserve that. This was the lifestyle I’d chosen for myself and I was not going to subject someone like Bella to it if I didn’t have to. She didn’t deserve the scrutiny she’d be put under if they got pictures of her.

“Nevermind.”

I quickly turned on my heel, playing nervously with my key ring as I stepped back onto the salt covered asphalt, looked up and down the road to make sure I wouldn’t get hit before I opened the car door.

“Edward, I just… I already have plans!”

“Bella, it’s fine.”

I didn’t even look at her as I sunk into the driver’s seat and started the car, mumbling to myself that I was an ass.

A big one.

A big ass with no brains or balls whatsoever.

I didn’t look at her again as I drove off down the road, turning onto our street and slamming my car into park once it was in the driveway.

Not much was working out for me the way I’d wanted it to today and I was seriously considering going back to bed. It was warm, comfortable and silent in there; nothing could really go wrong for me if I just stayed in one spot for the rest of the day.

Walking up the porch steps and through the front door, I threw everything that was in my pockets on the dining room table and toed off my shoes as I made my way up the stairs. I tore my shirt over my head, shed my pants and plopped face first onto my bed as soon as I walked into my bedroom.

And as I buried my way back into the sheets I’d abandoned this morning, I couldn’t for the life of me get Bella’s face out of my head.