Twenty Eight

*Bella*

He disappeared from my sight and I fell into the conveniently located chair behind me, my entire body losing the ability to stand up any longer. My eyes completely clouded over with tears and I let them fall freely this time, staring at the path he'd taken when he'd walked away from me. I pressed my lips together, clasping my hands and pressing them in between my knees as I continued to stare, unblinking, at the bottom of the security guard's podium.

He was gone. He'd left. I let him leave.

I let him leave me.

I slumped back into the chair, crossing my arms over my chest and slowly shaking my head.

He hadn't actually left me. He'd be back. And I'd see him in February. We were going to talk all the damn time and we'd be able to get through this until then.

I leaned forward again, moving my arms to bury my hands in my hair and rest my elbows on my knees as I tried to control the shuddering breaths that were escaping my mouth while staring at the ugly brown carpet.

It felt like I was falling apart. Half of my heart had just disappeared onto a plane bound for Washington and it felt like I couldn't function anymore.

I was vaguely aware of the people passing by, some of them stopping in front of me and possibly saying something to me, but I heard nothing outside of the rushing in my ears and the pounding of my heart.

I'd have to go back to his house without him. I'd be staying in his home – in his little safe haven of solitude that he'd accepted me into without question – without him. Everything would be the same; the blanket, pillows and rose petals would still be on the floor when I walked into the living room, the dishes would still be in the dishwasher, the laundry would still be in the basket at the end of the bed upstairs. Everything would be the same except that he wouldn't be there with me. None of his personal things were there anymore; his shampoo, razor, and cologne that he rarely used… all of it was packed into one of those suitcases and following him clear across the country.

It was just me now, surrounded by his furniture and able to torture myself with remembering every little thing we did the entire time we were together.

I don’t know how long I sat in that chair, hunched over and letting my tears fall onto the ugly brown carpet but I barely noticed when someone sat down in the seat next to me.

I wiped my cheeks off, taking a deep breath before leaning back and resting my head on the back of the seat, my eyes closed as I took a few deep breaths.

I couldn't sit here for the rest of the day no matter how much I may have wanted to. I needed to get up, get to a pay phone and call a cab so that I could go home. I'd pull myself together as much as I could tomorrow; today I wanted to grieve and mope and be as fucking miserable as possible. And I wanted to do it alone.

I placed my hands on the arm rests, standing up until I felt a hand on my wrist. I squeaked out a scream, snatching my hand away and looking over to my left to see none other than my father looking up at me.

My breath whooshed out of my lungs in something close to relief and confusion as I flopped back down into the seat.

What the hell was he doing here? How did he know that I was here? I hadn't called him.

"You're going to be all over the internet again tomorrow," he said quietly, his eyes moving from mine to scan the airport.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head slightly and pulling my eyebrows together.

"In the five minutes or so that I've been sitting here with you, at least ten people have walked by with cameras and their phones out to snap pictures of you like this."

I sighed again and quickly ran my hands through my hair again, shaking my head and clenching my eyes together tightly.

So it was starting. And I didn't have enough in me to really care about any of it. Edward was right; this was my life now and it was something that I had to deal with and accept.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

"How'd you know I was here?"

He stood up and waited for me to do the same, quickly wrapping an arm around my waist as I swayed a little on my feet.

As much as I loved my father and was slightly thankful that he was here so that I wouldn't be spending an enormous amount of money on a cab fare, his wasn't the arm I wanted around me. He wasn't the one I wanted to be leaning against right now. He wasn't the one I wanted to be clutching on to like he was my lifeline.

The one I wanted was gone.

Tears filled my eyes again and I involuntarily turned to bury my face in Charlie's shoulder, one of my hands fisting in the back of his dark blue jacket as he led me toward the escalator.

"He called me from the plane," he said quietly, leading me through the sliding glass doors as we stepped off the escalator. "He wanted to make sure that you'd called me to get you."

I barely contained the sob that threatened my throat, my fingers tightening in his jacket as we walked outside and toward the visitor parking lot.

"He sounded like shit."

"Dad," I whined, shaking my head and reaching up with my free hand to dig the heel of it into my eyes.

"Just an observation, Bells."

"Keep your observations to yourself, please."

Hearing that he sounded something close to what I might've been feeling wasn't helping me at all right now. While I didn't expect him to be all fucking happy about the fact that we were apart for two months, I also didn't want to hear that he probably felt like I did.

We both knew that this was going to happen. We both knew that he'd have to leave and we both knew that neither of us was going to be very happy about it. We were very much aware of how we'd feel and I didn't want to hear anymore about it.

"Sorry," he grumbled as we made our way to the police cruiser.

He opened the door for me and I plopped ungracefully into the front seat, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my shins. Charlie climbed into the driver's seat and I heard him close the door, listening as his seat belt clicked into place.

"Bella."

I looked over at him, watching as he motioned to my own seat belt before huffing, placing my feet on the floor and pulling it across my lap. He nodded happily, backing out of the space and starting towards the little glass box to hand in the visitor's ticket.

I pulled my knees back to my chest, burying my nose in them and closing my eyes tightly as he pulled out of the airport, my heart still sitting in that seat on the second floor as I watched Edward walk away from me.

We were both quiet for the first forty-five minutes of the drive and it wasn't until we were pulling off of exit twenty-one that I said something to him again.

"I'm moving in to his house."

The car slammed to a stop at the end of the ramp and I chanced a look over at him, resting my cheek against my knees as I met his wide eyes with my own.

"What?" he asked slowly, blinking at me.

"I'm moving in to his house," I said again, quietly.

"Why?"

"He asked me to."

"You do everything he asks you to?"

"My house has nothing in it, dad," I started quietly, swallowing hard. "There's too much of Jake in there and I want nothing to do with it."

"So you're going to sell your house and move into the one across the street? Bella, he's not even here!"

"I'm aware of that!" I snapped, briefly closing my eyes tightly and forcing myself to take a deep breath. "But at least he has furniture in his place! He's got a bed I can sleep in!"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," he grumbled, turning back to the road and finally pulling off of the ramp.

"Why?" I challenged, slowly letting my feet fall to the floor of the car and placing my hands in my lap.

"How long have you known this guy? How do you know he's not just…?"

"Do not say it, dad," I warned, narrowing my eyes at him. "You don't know anything about him."

"He's an actor, Bella; what more do I really need to know?"

"You said that he wasn't all that bad!"

He grunted and I watched as his hands tightened around the steering wheel. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against the head rest, taking a deep breath.

"He asked me to go with him, you know," I said quietly, sitting up straight and looking over at him again. "Wanted me to go live with him in California."

I watched as Charlie's face paled slightly before his jaw tensed and he narrowed his eyes at the red light we were currently sitting in front of, the annoying click, click of the blinker and the rumbling of the engine the only noises to be heard.

"Why didn't you?" he finally managed as the light turned green and he put his foot back on the gas.

"For you, Rose, Angela and the bookstore. I stayed for you," I grumbled, splaying my hands on my thighs and looking out the window.

He was quiet after that and fifteen minutes later, he was pulling into Edward's driveway. I dug my key ring out of my jacket pocket and opened the door, looking over when I heard Charlie's door shut as well.

"Do you want some coffee or something?" I asked, walking up the porch steps and stuffing the key in the door.

"Do you love him?"

The door swung open and I slowly turned on my heel to gape at him.

"What?"

"Well, do you?" he asked gruffly, jamming his hands into his coat pockets as he stood at the base of the porch stairs and looked up at me.

"Yes."

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what I've wanted for you ever since you were born, Bella?" he asked, sighing heavily and leaning against the porch railing.

I slowly shook my head, swallowing hard. Fuck, I couldn't handle many more heart-to-heart's today. Especially when it felt like mine had just been ripped out and tap-danced on for a few hours.

"I wanted you to be a good person. I wanted you to be someone other people could look up to and adore and use as their role model, I guess. I wanted you to be strong enough to handle everything thrown your way and I wanted you to have a good head on your shoulders to make the right decisions throughout your life."

I watched as he fidgeted a little, looking down and playing with his hands as he shifted his weight on his feet.

"Most importantly, I wanted you to follow your heart and be happy with whatever you did, Bella." He nodded at the open door behind me as I continued to gape at him. "Don't stay if you're only staying for everyone else. Stay because you want to."

"Dad…"

"Think about it, Bella. And if you need help moving anything in here, call me when you're ready."

I nodded, my mouth snapping back into place as I blinked slowly at him. He was accepting all of this. And in his own Charlie-like way, he was giving his… blessing?

"I'll… ah… I've gotta get back to work but call me, Bella. I don't know the number here…"

"I'll have to… talk to Edward about…"

"I know," he said quickly, slowly backing towards the cruiser behind him. "Just call me when you've got it all figured out."

I nodded, still only able to stand in the doorway as he quickly scrambled into the car and backed out, flashing the lights at me before taking off down the road.

I turned back to the open doorway, staring straight ahead into the dining room as I swallowed hard and cautiously stepped one foot into the living room, pushing the conversation I just had with my father out of my mind completely. I closed my eyes tightly as I stepped all the way in, groping for the door handle and snatching the keys out of the lock before slamming it shut.

I instantly smelled him and I couldn't even attempt to stop the flow of tears that immediately started rolling down my cheeks. And the memories, the feelings that came with them – the way his arms fit perfectly around my waist, the way he kissed me, the first time I kissed him, the way I felt every time he told me that he loved me, our first time on the stairs – all of them assaulted me and nearly brought me to my knees. I finally opened my eyes, whimpering pathetically as I threw the keys onto the table and dragged myself to the blanket in the middle of the room.

I sat down on the corner of it, tears rolling down my cheeks as I grabbed the edges and pulled it over my head, rose petals scattering everywhere. I curled into a ball and leaned over, thankfully falling against a pillow and finally letting the sobs and ache and pain flow through my lips without abandon.

To hell with moving shit in or finally unpacking my clothes from the duffel bag right now. I had a bleeding heart to cry out.

About an hour later – or at least it felt like an hour later when my throat was raw and dry and my head was pounding so hard that I wished it would just explode and get it over with – the front door opened.

I probably should've locked the damn thing. But I really didn't care. If they were fans of Edward that had found out where he lived and wanted pictures of my misery to laugh at for years to come, well, they were more than welcome to them. And if it just so happened to be an ax murderer, well… that'd just be really bad.

I barely looked up, my watery eyes making out two figures with plastic Price Chopper bags in their hands.

"Oh, honey," one of them cooed and I immediately recognized Angela's sympathetic voice.

My tense shoulders relaxed, only causing more tears to fall from my eyes as I buried my face into the blanket again. I heard rustling, which only reminded me of yesterday when Edward was setting up this whole display in the living room and caused more sobs to echo through the room before I felt someone lying down behind me, their arms firmly around my waist as they rested their head on my back. I heard footsteps retreating into the dining room and a few minutes later, I heard their footsteps coming back into the room. Rose was lying down in front of me in a few seconds, one arm placed on top of Angela's as she scooted in closer and up a little higher to rest her chin on the top of my head.

They stayed that way with me – only moving a little bit when I assumed that their limbs had gone numb – until I heard the phone ring. And then, for as weak as I had felt all damn day, I was the first one up and running to the dining room before either of them could move. I snatched the phone off the receiver and cleared my throat, wiping my face before I pressed the little green button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

My voice sounded hoarse and slightly weak, but that was as good as it was going to get. I'd stopped crying and dehydrating myself a few minutes ago, merely lying on the floor and staring at Rose's neck in silence.

We hadn't spoken since they'd come in and the volume of my voice scared me for a second when I realized how truly quiet the house was.

"Bella," he breathed, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah," I bit my bottom lip and smiled back, turning on my heel and pacing the length of the dining room. "You're in Chicago?"

"Unfortunately," he confirmed, yawning. "But I'm here."

"How was the flight?"

I turned when I heard footsteps behind me and saw Rose, wiggling her fingers at me as she passed by and walked into the kitchen. Angela followed after her, reaching over to squeeze my arm before she headed up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"Long, boring… the woman sitting next to me kept staring at me and licking her lips. I was rather scared of that."

I laughed a little, turning back around and reaching up with my free hand to play with the ends of my hair.

"Maybe she wanted you."

"I think she was old enough to be my mother."

"You're a very attractive man, Edward. I'm sure lots of people want you."

I swallowed hard before shaking my head at myself and chewing on my bottom lip again.

"Well, I’m taken and I plan on being that way for the rest of my life so really, there's no hope in hell for any of them."

I laughed, downright fucking giddy at his words and plopped into one of the dining room table chairs.

"Thank you for calling Charlie, by the way," I said softly, my fingertip idly making patterns on the table top.

"You're welcome. Most terrifying experience of my life, mind you."

"Why's that?"

"He was pretty positive that something had happened to you since I was calling him at work. Starting ranting and raving that if I'd hurt you, he'd shoot me without thinking twice." He laughed nervously and cleared his throat. "Two rows were looking over their seats at me because they heard him."

"Oh, no."

"It's okay!" he said quickly. "He was just protecting you."

I grunted, reaching up with my free hand and fisting my hand in my hair as I squinted at the table top. I was going to kill him.

"Yeah, I guess," I grumbled.

I heard a muffled voice in the background on his end of the phone and I sat up straight, immediately recognizing it for what it was. They were announcing a flight and I clearly heard Seattle being said.

My throat immediately constricted and I felt the tears in my eyes again, the hand in my hair falling and landing with a loud, hollow plop on the table.

Another goodbye.

"Bella," his voice sounded strangled and I let out the breath I hadn't realized that I'd been holding. "Love, I have to go."

"Okay," I whispered, shaking my head once before clearing my throat. "Call me when you land in Seattle, all right?"

"First thing," he said quickly.

"I love you," I said, my voice strained as my eyes clouded over again while I stared straight ahead at the wall in front of me.

"I love you too and I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah."

"I'm not saying…"

"Don't."

"Okay."

"Okay."

I held on until I heard silence and then lowered the phone, pressing the red button on the phone before slamming it down on the table.

"Here," Rose said, quickly placing a glass of water and two Advil tablets on the table in front of me.

"What are you; psychic?" I asked, my voice shaking as I reached out and snatched up the little green pills.

"No," she said softly, sitting down in the chair next to me. "I've just been there."

I nodded, quickly throwing my head back and popping the pills in my mouth before I grabbed the glass of water and swallowed more than half of it down in one sitting. Angela had walked back down the stairs while I was chugging my water and was sitting on my other side, her hands clasped together on the table as they both watched me.

Slapping the glass back on the table, I breathed heavily and wrapped my fingers tightly around it, keeping my eyes focused on the empty chair in front of me.

"Shouldn't you guys be at work?"

"You're way more important than work, Bella," Angela said quietly, reaching over and placing one of her hands on my arm. "We knew this day was going to be hard and we knew that you'd need us."

I swallowed the emotion welling up in my throat again and nodded my thanks, pressing my lips together and forcing deep breaths in through my nose.

"We brought ice cream," Rose offered, clearing her throat. "If you're going to be all upset and depressed, ice cream is definitely something that you need."

"Mint Marcy from Stewart's?" I asked hopefully, raising an eyebrow at her.

"As if we'd get you something else," she scoffed, rolling her eyes at me before she got up and walked back into the kitchen.

I managed a smirk and moved my arm from Angela's hand before grabbing hers with my own and squeezing it. She squeezed back, smiling sympathetically at me.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not now," I answered weakly, trying to smile over at her.

She nodded, smiling back at me and squeezing my hand again.

"When you're ready."

"At least tell us how he is in bed!" Rosalie shouted from the kitchen. "I've been fucking dying to know."

"Rose!" Angela scolded, glaring in the direction of the kitchen. "Do you really think—?"

She went on and all I could do was rest my forehead on the table and laugh, my hand still clutching Angela's and tears still in my eyes and my heart still pretty fucking torn apart.

Only Rosalie Hale would think to ask something like that after the kind of day we all knew that I'd had. And that was why she was my best fucking friend.

~*~

*December 23*

I stood in the middle of the small parking lot, looking up at the bookstore with my hands shoved in my jacket pockets and my lips twisted to the sides.

Jessica's little red Chevy Cobalt was in the lot, my truck parked next to hers, flaunting itself proudly. I would've been surprised that she was even here this early, but figured that there must be some extremely juicy gossip concerning my love life that she felt she needed to share with me first thing. The ticket to Edward's premiere was in my purse, tucked safely in my checkbook so that it didn't get ruined.

Angela and Rose had had to stop me from ripping it to shreds after one too many very large glasses of margaritas that they'd whipped up a few hours after I'd finished off the entire carton of the ice cream they'd bought for me.

It was what Rose called the cure for heartbreak. It hadn't tasted so well when it came back up around five this morning, but it had worked for all intents and purposes the night before.

And when Edward had called me a few hours into the drinking portion of the day to tell me that he was safely in Seattle, I managed to tell him between sobs and giggles that I was really drunk, needed him back and refused to ever get my nether regions waxed just because Rosalie told me that sex would be better without the hair in the way. I think he'd tried to keep up with me and said something along the lines of needing me back as well and that he didn't really give a damn about whether or not that part of me was waxed, as long as I was there.

That was about the time I really started sobbing, telling him that I missed him and loved him over and over before Angela snatched the phone away from me and apologized to him about Rosalie's insistence of buying alcohol for me.

I remembered saying that I loved him again, refused to say the word goodbye and had promptly passed out until my stomach woke me up to tell me how much it did not like the ice cream and alcohol combination.

I'd spent the rest of the morning with my head in the toilet, flipping Rose off each time she walked in to check on me while realizing that I'd have to go to work to face Jessica. I had a feeling that turning her into a banana today just wasn't going to cut it.

And staring up at my place of business a few short hours after that incident with a headache that I'd barely managed to tame, I'd finally come to a realization.

I loved this place. I loved helping customers and getting new shipments of books; I loved the smell of them as I walked in every morning and I loved knowing that I'd helped in keeping this place running all these years. I loved it when I saw a little child excited about a book that they'd found. I loved seeing people sitting in the comfortable arm chairs and reading passages for hours on end. I loved being here.

And the only reason that I hated coming here every day was because of the bottle blonde I'd interviewed and stupidly believed would be a good addition to this place over two years ago.

I vowed, then and there, that my interview process would be much more extensive the next time around.

I refused to let Jessica continue to ruin something that I loved so much. And today – today, when my heart was still aching and I was still trying to adjust to the fact that Edward wouldn't be there when I got home – I had no tolerance for the comments I knew she'd start flinging at me as soon as I walked in the door.

I couldn't control Edward leaving. I could, however, control my livelihood being turned into something it hadn't been since she'd started working here.

And today was the day that I was going to take control of my life and of my business. I'd lost enough of myself in the past day and I fucking refused to lose any more of it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I walked up the path to the front door and pushed it open to find Jessica at the front counter with a smug, self satisfied smirk on her face. Squaring my shoulders, I set my purse down as I took off my coat and hung it up. Fishing around in my purse as I picked it up, I pulled out the ticket and walked up the counter, slapping it down on the desk.

"You looked really good yesterday, Bella," she chirped, smiling sarcastically at me as she turned the computer screen to face me.

Just as Charlie had predicted, there I was at the airport with my head in my hands and tears running down my cheeks. I bit the inside of my cheek, raising an eyebrow at her as she scrolled down a little more to show me a picture of Edward and I together before he'd left.

I bit my tongue in an attempt to keep the tears that had been almost non-stop since yesterday morning at bay. That picture and the look on Edward's face as he stared down at me was enough to torture me for the next few weeks.

"How has business been this past week, Jess?" I asked, my voice sickly sweet as I stood up straight, squared my shoulders again and crossed my arms over my chest.

Plenty of time for all of that later. I had a pretty damn big issue to deal with right now.

She shrugged, rolling her eyes and waving me off.

"I don't know."

"Well maybe you would if you'd paid a little more attention to everything. Did you do any of the paperwork while I was away?"

She scoffed, turning the screen back to face her and placing her hand on the mouse again.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because that's what I pay you for. That's why you have this damn ticket," I said, my voice low as I disentangled my arms and shoved it over to her.

She snatched it away from me, her face lighting up as she wiggled happily in her chair.

"I have to call Amanda! She'll never believe this!" she squealed as she picked up the phone.

I was quick to reach over and place my finger on the tab, effectively disrupting her almost phone call and raising an eyebrow at her again as she scowled at me and tried brushing my hand off.

"You're fired," I said, my voice low and impressively grave. "Give me your key and get out."

Her mouth dropped open and she stared at me, the ticket in one hand and the phone in the other.

"What?" she finally asked.

"You're fired," I said again, slowly.

Her face began to turn red and I was quick to move my hand as she slammed the phone back down and jerked up out of her chair to get nose-to-nose with me.

"You can't do that."

"I just did."

Her breaths began coming in heaving pants as she continued to stare at me, her chest rising and falling as her free hand bunched into a fist. I didn't move my eyes from hers, finding some kind of perverse enjoyment in all of this. It had always been me that had gotten worked up and pissed off at everything Jessica did. It was a very nice change to finally be able to get underneath her skin.

"You'll regret this," she snarled. "My father will own this place and you will have shit."

"We'll see," I said simply, shrugging my shoulders and placing my purse on the counter before crossing my arms over my chest again. "Now, if you'd please gather your things and give me the key, I'd really appreciate it if you left."

"You will regret this," she seethed again as she slammed her fist on the counter and continued to glare at me.

"I'll take my chances." I turned slightly and nodded towards the door. "If you don't mind…"

She screamed and stomped her foot but started to gather everything she had resting on the desk. Her picture frames, her stupid little knick knacks that only she thought were cute and everything else that she possibly could've hidden there to stuff them into her purse. She angrily wrenched the key to the front door off of her key ring and slapped it on the counter. I watched for the entire fifteen minutes it took her to accomplish all of this, carefully making sure that what she put into her bag was actually hers before she finally stalked over to the coat rack and snatched her jacket off of it. She jammed her arms into the sleeves, snarling out a high-pitched scream in my direction and then stormed out, the door blissfully slamming behind her.

I waited to hear her car start up and then leave before I did a little dance of my own, mentally patting myself on the back as I skipped around to the other side of the counter and plopped down into the chair Jessica had vacated for the last time. Smiling and humming to myself, I picked up the receiver and dialed in the number to Angela's studio.

"Twilight Studios, Angela speaking, how can I help you?" her chipper voice came through the phone and I grinned.

"I did it!" I exclaimed, pumping one fist into the air.

"Bella? Did what?"

"I fired her, Ang! She's gone!"

"You fired Jessica?" she asked, her voice hopeful for one minute and then immediately taken over by a yawn. "That's great."

I winced slightly and laughed nervously.

"Sorry about keeping you up last night…"

"Shut up," she said easily through another yawn. "You needed it."

"Yeah well… you didn't need to deal with all of that."

"You would've done the same for me."

"True."

"So let's go out tonight and celebrate or something. The bitch is gone and you can take back your business."

I immediately perked up again, sitting up straight in the chair and anxiously tapping my fingernails on the counter even as my stomach lurched at the thought of more alcohol.

"I don't think I can handle any more drinks."

"And I don't think I can handle watching you drink anything else. What about just dinner?"

"Yeah, okay," I said brightly, nodding and briefly thinking that I needed to get some sort of radio installed in this place. "I'll just go home and ask—"

My face fell and the silence on the other end of the phone was deafening as we both quickly realized what I was about to say. Laughing nervously, I slumped back into the chair and dug my toe into the carpet, biting my bottom lip as tears immediately started to fill my eyes.

I couldn't ask Edward if he wanted to go to dinner with us if he wasn't there. He couldn't actually come out to dinner with us if he wasn't even in the same state with us anymore.

I knew he wasn't there. I'd slept on the damn floor in the living room last night, tangled up in the blue blanket; I was very much aware that he wasn't anywhere in that house but it didn't stop my brain from thinking that he was. It didn't stop the hope that had surged through me for a brief moment, thinking that I could go home and see him waiting for me on the couch.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I'd known that since day one and it was something that I was just going to have to fucking deal with already. I could do this. I could do this for him and I could do this for us because we both deserved this.

"Maybe one drink wouldn't be so bad," Angela finally said quietly.

"Yeah," I whispered, sniffling slightly and leaning forward on the counter to rub at my eyes with my free hand. "Or five."

"That works, too. I'll call Rose and we'll figure something out, okay? We'll take care of everything, Bella."

Will you take care of my broken heart, too? Because that was in some dire need of fixing right at the moment.

"Call me back," I managed, clearing my throat and sitting back when I heard the door open to signify a customer walking in.

"Will do. Bye, Bella."

"See you later."

I quickly wiped my eyes again as I set the phone in its cradle, standing up and moving my purse from the counter to smile at the young girl aimlessly walking around the front room.

The pain wasn't going to go away anytime soon, but maybe I could bury it underneath the massive amount of work I had ahead of me for at least a few hours.

At least until I had to go home.

~*~

*December 24*

"For someone who doesn't have much furniture," Ben huffed as he helped me drag my lonely end table across the street, "you sure as hell have a lot of heavy shit."

"Sorry," I huffed, shaking my hair out of my face as we awkwardly walked up Edward's porch steps.

It was four-fifty on Christmas Eve and I'd enlisted the help of my friend and her husband to finally move my shit into my new place of residence.

Well, really, Angela had insisted that they help me out when I told her of my plans after closing the store for the Christmas holiday. I didn't have to be at Charlie's house until mid-morning tomorrow and to keep myself from losing what little bit of mind I had left, had stupidly informed Angela that I would be moving everything until Edward called that night.

She'd refused to leave me alone on Christmas Eve and I hadn't been entirely sure of the whole tree thing that she'd mentioned until they pulled up outside of the cabin with a big ass Evergreen tied to the top of their car. I'd already told them that while I appreciated the sentiment, Ben was going to be the one to take it down as soon as the holidays were over. He'd grumbled at his wife, glared at me and then accepted his fate with a sigh before untying the tree and waiting for Angela to help him with it.

And then Angela had even had the foresight to bring over an entire box of Christmas ornaments for me to use. While I'd had my own tree for the past few years with Jake, all of the ornaments had been his. And they were still his because he'd taken those, too.

So I let them set up the tree and had done my best to smile as brightly as possible each time she whipped her camera out of her back pocket in an effort to "commemorate the experience" or some such shit while I grudgingly helped them decorate the damn thing. It made her happy and I wasn't constantly thinking about the voice that would be on the other end of the telephone in a few very long hours.

We'd come up with a system to our phone calls. He called me at work when he woke up, I called him when I got out of work and then he called again around ten-thirty so that we could say goodnight to each other. Was it a bit much? Absolutely. Was I going to do anything to change it? Fuck no.

"Where do you want this?" he grunted as we made it into the house.

"Dining room," I panted, grunting as I attempted to push it up higher in my arms. "Back left corner."

"Fuck, Bella," he grumbled as we shuffled our way through the now overly clean living room. "I sure as hell hope that you never move again or at least have the courtesy to let me call immunity to it when you do."

I laughed breathlessly, nodding as we passed by the stairs – and I was getting a hell of a lot better about not tearing up every time I saw them or had to use them – and inched around the dining table to get to the corner. We shuffled our feet a bit more until he was pressed up against the wall before we both slid the end table down to the floor and he moved.

"Thanks Ben," I smiled, gripping the edges tightly and pushing it right up against the wall.

"You're welcome. Hey, you got any beer here?"

I nodded and motioned with my head to the kitchen as I grabbed the lamp I'd already brought over here from the table and dusted off the bottom of it.

"Help yourself."

I put entirely too much effort into getting the lamp to look as though it fit into this house in the first place and gave up after a few minutes. Nothing that I was bringing into this house fit; nothing matched and that drove me insane. And all the little pieces of furniture that I did still have were ridiculously useless because Edward already had everything either of us could ever possibly need.

What in the hell would we need another television for? Or an old recliner that would never fit into the house no matter how many times I rearranged the living room?

I'd be better off holding a damn garage sale and selling everything that I didn't need anymore.

And I had no idea what the hell to do with my own house. Would it be too presumptuous of me to sell it? I mean, he wanted me to move in, sure, but he'd never said anything about me getting rid of my house.

"Why didn't you go?"

I jumped about five feet in the air, thankful the lamp was out of my hands as I turned to face Ben leaning against the doorjamb of the kitchen, one hand in the pocket of his jeans and the other clutching onto a Heineken bottle.

"Go where?" I asked as I pressed a hand against my racing heart and swallowed hard.

"With Edward," he stated, shrugging easily and lifting the bottle to his lips.

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes together tightly for a few moments before opening them to face him again.

"I have my bookstore; you guys and Charlie are here… I can't just drop everything and leave with him. My life is here."

He pursed his lips slightly and nodded, looking around the dining room as if it were the first time he'd ever been in here.

"You know, Bella," he started, pushing off the doorjamb and walking over to me, "when Ang said that we were coming over to meet Edward that first night, I didn't really know what to think. I'd never paid much attention to him before because Ang had never really mentioned him and I'm not a screaming twelve-year old girl." I snorted at that and he smirked, handing me his bottle of beer before sitting down at the table. "But when she told me that you were actually dating him, it was like I had this… sudden urge to… protect you?" He questioned himself, tilting his head to the side and taking the bottle when I offered it back to him. "You're one of Ang's best friends, which makes you one of mine as well so I guess it was just instinct on some level. So when I walked in here that night, I had every intention of doing my best to intimidate him." I laughed loudly at that, sitting down at the table as well and trying to imagine Ben trying to intimidate anyone. "But one look at him and I knew that I wouldn't have to. That man is very much in love with you, Bella and if you feel even an ounce of what I saw on his face that night, the last people you need to be thinking about are us."

I bit my bottom lip, my chin starting to tremble as I looked down at the table top and clasped my hands together tightly. I looked up when one of Ben's hands covered both of mine and tried to offer him a shaky smile.

"You need to go where your heart is," he said softly. "And if it's in California, then that's where you need to be. We'll miss you, but we understand."

"My store," I managed, sucking in a deep breath and blinking rapidly in an attempt to get rid of the tears.

I'd just taken control over everything again. I wasn't sure I was ready to hand it over to someone else so soon no matter what my heart was telling me to do.

"You can find someone else; hire someone else that you can really trust to run it while you're away. We'll all take turns checking in to make sure that everything's still running all right if that's what needs to be done. Bella, we just want you to be happy."

I let out a choked sob before standing up and leaning over to wrap my arms tightly around his neck. He grabbed me around the waist, quickly pulling me into his lap and running his hands down my hair, shushing me and rocking back and forth as I sobbed into his chest.

"I miss him," I wailed.

"I know you do," he whispered, resting his cheek on the top of my head. "And I'm pretty confident in saying that he misses you, too."

That only managed to hurt a little more and made the sobs pour from my mouth a little louder as I curled up on his lap. Angela walked in at some point and I felt her hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles there.

Christ, I was a mess. And it had only been two days since he'd left. How was I going to handle another two months without him?

~*~

*Christmas*

Gathering the apple pie I'd baked at the ass crack of dawn that morning and the bag of Christmas gifts I'd bought and wrapped at the very beginning of the month from the passenger side of the truck, I moved out of the way and closed the door with my hip before walking up the familiar path to Charlie and Sue's house.

I hadn't been able to sleep. As much as my body had craved it after I'd cried for what felt like hours into Ben's chest, as soon as Edward had called to say goodnight and I'd gone up to bed, I'd been wide awake. I'd stared at the ceiling and then at our picture on the wall, trying to lose myself in the way I'd felt the day it was taken. That worked for about two hours before I was awake again. So I'd attempted to work the damn alarm clock's radio, hoping that I'd be able to find some type of music to lull me to sleep again. I'd landed another hour and a half of sleep before I was awake and by then, when the clock told me that it was barely five in the morning, I'd gotten up and had decided to make a pie.

It kept my hands busy and my mind away from the fact that I was alone on Christmas morning.

Edward had called at ten-thirty, telling me about how Emmett and Alice were like little children and demanded that he be up early so that they could exchange and open gifts before more of their family members arrived. He'd sounded exhausted, irritated and grouchy and more than anything, I'd wanted to be with him. I'd heard Alice's high pitched squeal on the other end of the phone as he walked into another room and laughed when the two of them started arguing over… everything. Not that I could actually make out more than Edward saying, "Alice, shut up already!" And then another deep, booming voice joined hers and I laughed again when Edward hissed at him to shut up as well.

Eventually his siblings won out and he made me promise that I'd call him as soon as I got home from Charlie's that night. I said I would and we both hung up, still avoiding the word goodbye and I went back to my pie with a heavy, aching heart.

Now it was barely past noon and I was using my elbow to push the doorbell in when I realized that my full hands were not going to be able to balance everything and open the door at the same time.

I heard footsteps pounding on the other side of the door and stood up straight, plastering the most meaningful smile on my face that I could and waited for the door to open. Seth stood in front of me, a grin on his face and his eyes lit up as he bounced up and down on his heels.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, quickly taking the pie from me before pulling me into him with his free arm and hugging me tightly.

I laughed and hugged him back, patting his back with my now free hand and letting him sway us from side to side.

"Hey, kid! How's it going?"

"I'm so glad to see you," he breathed, pulling me into the house and not letting me go. "Mom and Charlie have been conveniently finding themselves under the mistletoe and really," he made a face at me as he pulled away and closed the door behind me, "I can't take much more of that."

I laughed half-heartedly and set the bag of presents down next to my feet as I shed my coat and hung it up on the pegs beside me.

"Your sister here yet?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, waving a hand at me and waiting for me to grab the presents before walking with me into the open living room. I'd always adored this house with its high ceilings and large windows overlooking the equally as large backyard. He'd bought it when my mother had gotten remarried, saying that it was his own little wedding gift to himself. He still loved my mother on some level; he was just glad that he wasn't the one married to her anymore.

The living room and kitchen took up the bottom half of the two story house with a small room off to the side for the dining room, the winding staircase nestled against the deep blue wall on the very left side of the room and the spacious kitchen separated only by the breakfast bar directly opposite of that. Upstairs were the bedrooms, two large bathrooms and an office for Sue when she did whatever it was that she claims to do during the day. I was pretty sure that not even Charlie was aware of what his wife did when he wasn't home and when we asked her about it, she gave us some explanation that sounded close to her speaking in Greek.

"She's waiting for her precious boy toy before she comes over here."

"Have you met him?"

"Nope," he stated brightly, popping the p. "Maybe he's just too damn embarrassed to be seen out in public with her."

I snorted as I stashed the bag underneath the massive tree in the corner of the living room and walked with him toward the kitchen, immediately greeted by Sue. She had a frilly apron tied around her waist, her dark brown hair twisted up into an elegant bun on the back of her head and she was barefoot as she danced from side to side to music that had to be in her head.

"Bella!" she squealed, walking over to me and quickly wrapping her arms around my neck. "It's so nice to see you!"

"You too, Sue. Smells great in here," I grinned, kissing her cheek and moving away from her to sit at the breakfast bar.

"You're just glad that you're not the one cooking this year." She waved a finger at me and winked. "Your father will be right down. He had to dig out that tie your grandmother gave him for Christmas a few years ago."

I flinched at the mention of the Frosty the Snowman tie that lit up and sang whenever he moved. It had amused me for about ten minutes before it became horribly annoying and I'd wished a fiery, torturous death to it. There were only so many times a person could hear the Frosty theme song without going completely insane.

Seth sat down on the stool next to me, eyeing the large bowl of stuffing sitting just below us and licking his lips. I laughed and kicked his leg, shaking my head as he jumped and grinned over at me.

"So how's your new man, Bella?" Sue asked innocently as she rounded the counter and began to chop up a celery stalk.

My stomach twisted but I somehow managed to keep the smile on my face as I nervously tangled one hand in my hair.

"He's good," I nodded, clearing my throat.

"The actor!" Seth exclaimed, pointing at me. "Yes! I saw some pictures of you two out at a club or something." He wrinkled his nose at me. "Not something I ever wanted to see my stepsister doing."

I laughed and pushed on his shoulder, rolling my eyes as he dramatically gripped onto the edge of the counter and leaned away from me.

"Well I think it's sweet," Sue said, smiling over at me. "As long as he's good to you."

I smiled and nodded, tugging on the ends of my hair. "He's very good."

"Okay, that's just… ew," Seth grumbled, gently placing his hand on my head and pushing slightly. "Enough."

"Shut up," I laughed, slapping at his arm until he moved it and slung it around my shoulders.

"What time is everyone coming over, ma?" he asked, tousling my hair before letting me go.

I narrowed my eyes at him as I reached up to smooth my hair back into submission, huffing loudly and slapping at his shoulder.

"They'll all be here around two. Dinner will be done around three," she informed us, nodding decidedly as she sprinkled the small celery bits into the stuffing.

"Bella!"

I turned around on the stool to find that Charlie was walking down the stairs with the God-forsaken tie held out at his side even as it sang and lit up. I stood up and met him halfway, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek loudly.

"Merry Christmas, dad."

He grumbled something, his face beet red as I backed away from him. I laughed and let him hook an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me tightly as we walked back to the breakfast bar I'd abandoned. He quickly left my side when Sue came into view and I smiled softly as he rounded the counter and quickly kissed her cheek, his arms winding around her waist.

"You see?" Seth groaned, pointing accusingly at them. "This is only half of what they've been doing all day."

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him, hooking my arm around his and standing up.

"Come on. Help me sort the gifts."

His eyes lit up and I shook my head, snorting as he dragged me into the living room. We both stopped in the middle when we heard the front door slam and I think I growled when I heard Leah call out to everything that they were here.

Great. As if Leah wasn't bad enough on her own, now she had a someone to torture me with. Oh, I was so looking forward to seeing this day end.

Seth sighed heavily and I smirked, thankful that I had someone on my side.

"Great," he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as he walked over to the tree and sat on the floor. "It's been really peaceful without having to hear her loud mouth every damn day."

I snorted again, two steps away from joining him on the floor when I heard a deep rumble of familiar laughter. I froze, my head snapping in the direction of the doorway and my eyes narrowed as I waited for them to appear in the hallway.

"You okay, Bella?"

I nodded, my eyes still trained on the opening of the hallway as I tapped my toes on the floor.

It took them about five minutes more than necessary but when they finally did show up, my eyes narrowed into tiny slits when I recognized the guy standing next to Leah. His wide hands were on her waist as he walked in, a smug smile on both of their faces as their eyes immediately landed on me upon their entrance.

We stared at each other for a few silent, tense moments before I felt my lips starting to curve into a smile. My eyes returned to their normal size and a bubble of laughter escaped my lips as I stared directly into Jake's brown eyes.

They were looking at me as if they were expecting some epic, monumental reaction from me. Like they were just waiting for me to burst into a mess of tears and wails and sobs so that they could either hold it against me or laugh at my expense.

Which was really fucking stupid on their parts to begin with. This was my father's house. Just because Sue had moved in here once they'd gotten married did not by any means signify that they had seniority over anything. I was pretty fucking positive that Charlie would take my side in all of this… if they'd gotten the reaction they seemed to be hoping for, anyway.

And on top of that, I really didn't care. They were both free to date whomever they wanted and if they wanted to torture each other, well, they had my blessing.

I had Edward and I didn't care anything about what Jake did or who he decided to do it with.

"Oh, this is good," I laughed, pointing at him. "This is really good."

"Problem?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow at me and leaning back into Jake.

I just shook my head, little bouts of laughter still crawling up my throat and escaping through my lips against my better judgment.

"Not at all, Leah. In fact, I'm very happy for the both of you," I said brightly, hooking my thumbs into my jeans pockets and rocking back and forth on my heels. "I can't think of any two people that deserve to be together more than the two of you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jake grumbled, eyeing me cautiously.

"Just my opinion," I laughed, easily shrugging my shoulders. "I'm sure you two have tons in common."

"What the hell is your problem?" Leah hissed.

At this, I doubled over in laughter, leaning forward and grabbing onto my knees for support.

Maybe I was cracking up and officially losing my mind, but I found this entire situation beyond hysterical. My stepsister seemed to get exactly what she'd always wanted for Christmas and my ex-boyfriend was more than welcome to date the conniving twit that had left no questions about wanting him right from the start. They'd come in here, prepared for battle and no doubt thinking that I'd ream them both up one side and down the other and all I could think about was how pretty fucking predictable both of them were.

Jake had wrongfully bitched at me for jumping into a relationship the minute he dumped me and now, not even a month later, he walks into my father's house with my stepsister on his arm.

This was just fucking… amazing. Best damn Christmas ever. Maybe we'd be able to make it onto Jerry Springer for shit like this.

"I don't," I managed between giggles, standing up straight before bending back down upon seeing them together again. "I don't have a problem."

"What the hell is so damn funny?" she demanded, angrily fisting her hands on her hips and glaring at me.

That only made it worse and before I realized it, I had fallen to my knees on the floor, my arms wrapped around my waist as tears escaped my eyes and streamed down my cheeks.

"Bella, what is so damn funny?" Charlie grumbled, ambling into the living room and stopping dead as he saw Jake standing with Leah.

I just pointed at them, still laughing and was finally forced to lean against the bottom of the sofa behind me so that I could attempt to breathe normally again.

"Something you'd like to tell us, Jacob?" Charlie asked and even through my laughter I could hear the warning and menace in his tone.

Which only made me laugh harder; to the point where I wasn't making any sounds anymore but my entire body was shaking with what would've been loud peals of more laughter.

"At least," I started, raising a hand up before letting it fall to the floor as I breathed out more laughter, "at least you kept it all in the family, Jake!"

"What is…? Oh, Leah," Sue sighed, shaking her head and slapping her forehead with her fingers as she walked up behind Charlie.

I looked over at Seth – who was for once trying to be the calm one throughout all of this – to see that he had his lips pressed tightly together, his eyes were bugged out and he was swallowing rapidly. When he looked over at me, loud guffaws immediately left his mouth as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on the carpet, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. I dropped my head back onto the couch cushion and continued laughing, holding my stomach.

Finally, twenty minutes later, my grandmother showed up and Seth forced me upstairs and into the bathroom, both of us still laughing and gasping for air as we cleaned our faces and did our best to calm down so that we could continue the ritual of making fun of our relatives under our breath.

For some reason, I was thinking that wouldn't really be necessary this year. We had more than enough ammunition to amuse us for the rest of time with Leah and Jake scowling and looking like someone had just taken away their favorite toys.

And by the time dinner was over, I'd spent more time with Seth in the bathroom calming myself down than I did downstairs with my family. Opening gifts had been the hardest part because as soon as I tried getting up when I caught a glimpse of Jake shifting uneasily as he sat next to my father on the couch, one of my relatives – or Sue's – would openly glare at me in a way that made me terrified to move ever again. I'd spent a lot of time carefully opening packages and then as casually as possible hiding my face behind the paper when I couldn't stand it anymore.

It had been a very long day and at a quarter to nine, when I was shrugging into my coat and getting ready to leave, I realized that I was exhausted. Walking back into the living room, I said a good night and a Merry Christmas to all of my remaining relatives, promising my father a phone call within the next few days, promising Seth that we'd have lunch together one day soon and starting back towards the front door. One of my hands was on the doorknob and the other reaching to grab the shopping bag full of gifts that I'd received when I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see Jake walking up.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he fidgeted with his hands, casting worried glances over his shoulder as he came to a stop in front of me.

"Something to say?" I finally asked, shaking my head.

I had a phone call to get home to and he was simply wasting my time the same way that he'd wasted my time with our entire relationship.

"You're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm with Leah…"

I snorted, forced to hold in more laughter as I licked my lips and crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head.

Did he really believe that I cared anymore? Did he really think that I still held on to some feelings for him when he'd done everything he did to me?

"And I'm with Edward."

His eyes narrowed and I pursed my lips, looking over his shoulder to see that Leah had stationed herself at the beginning of the hallway, her arms over her chest and her eyes glaring back at me.

"Saw those pictures of you," he sneered, his posture immediately becoming defensive as he squared his broad shoulders and he crossed his arms over his chest as well.

"You and half the fucking world," I said quietly, tilting my head to the side slightly. "We're done here. Merry Christmas, Jake."

With that, I dropped my arms, hoisted the shopping bag up against my hip and yanked open the door, chuckling and rolling my eyes at the whole damn day.

This had definitely been a Christmas that I'd never forget.

~*~

*December 31*

"Thank you for your time," I said weakly, smiling at the sixteenth person I'd had to interview today. "I'll call you and let you know my decision."

She popped her gum, tilted her head from side to side and smiled brightly at me as she bent to pick up her candy pink, patent leather purse, thanked me and literally skipped out of the store. I quickly threw her application in the trash before leaning forward and banging my head slightly against the top of the counter.

This was torture. There hadn't been a single person that I could even fathom leaving the bookstore with while I was away in February. They were mostly young girls looking for a part time after school job and the ones that weren't scared the crap out of me. Older women set in their ways and refusing to even try listening to how I ran my own bookstore and demanded that I tidy up around here was not someone I wanted working for me. I'd chase all my damn customers away.

And I really couldn't afford to do that. I'd officially started saving money to buy the plane ticket I'd need in February and while I'd have enough to live on even without the extra money I was putting aside, I still had a mortgage on a house I didn't know what to do with to pay and I did need to eat at least twice a day.

I'd officially moved all of my things into Edward's place the day after I'd gotten home from Christmas at Charlie's. Well, not everything, but the things that I really needed were there. Angela had suggested putting some of my bigger things – such as the television and recliner – in the local Penny Saver so that I could get rid of them but with my longer hours and all the extra paperwork that I still hadn't gotten done since my return piling up, I was lucky that I had a chance to talk to Edward every day.

And every day after I hung up with him, my heart hurt even more. I missed everything about him and living in his house without him wasn't the same by any means. It felt like I was dying a little more each day when he wasn't here. Something was off, something was missing from me and no matter how hard I'd tried to patch myself up temporarily, it wasn't working.

I needed him back. I needed him back in my life, at my side on a more permanent basis. I couldn't deal with this incredible ache every time I woke up from my dreams and realized that he wasn't there. I couldn't go through my day as if I were on autopilot. Rose and Angela were doing everything that they possibly could to keep me out of my funk – even taking things so far as dragging me to the mall the other night in a very sad, pathetic attempt to get me out of the house.

I'd only bought Edward's Christmas present and spent the rest of the night staring at the little gold bag that taunted me and let me know that he wouldn't be getting it until February. I should've gotten it sooner; he should've had it before he left. But I didn't have any spare time and I wasn't shopping with him for something that I planned on giving him one day. I could've sent it to him, but I wanted to be there when he opened it.

And then I'd driven in to work the next morning to discover that I had three nondescript vans of varying colors waiting for me with some long ass camera lenses in the parking lot. They'd snapped pictures of me in my truck as I drove up, as I got out, as I walked down the parking lot and towards the walk way to get to the front door. I'd stopped them there, though, claiming that if they wanted more pictures of me in my place of business, they had to come in and buy two hundred dollars worth of books.

They'd been quick to back off, but they were still right there as I left work at seven thirty that night. And they'd been back there the next morning when I pulled in. They'd been there ever since and I really began to wonder if they had homes or honestly believed that I was really that interesting. For the most part, they were pretty nice and only spoke to me when they wanted me to look up. But they didn't harass any of the other customers and they weren't taking over my bookstore – just the parking lot – so I didn't have any real complaints about any of it.

Rubbing my hands over my face as I sat back, I groaned and looked down at the clock on the computer. It was a quarter to four – I always closed early on the eves of the holidays – and I really didn't have the time to stay and finish the paperwork because Rosalie would probably kill me. She had plans for the night and I was, under no circumstances allowed to screw anything up for her.

Standing up, I left everything as it was, pulled the drawer from the cash register and locked the front door before walking up the stairs and shoving the drawer into the safe.

I'd count it on Friday morning when I reopened. I just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now.

I locked the doors, set the alarm I'd had installed upon Rosalie's insistence, stuffed the store keys into my purse as I made it outside and almost ran into one of the men with a camera.

"Have a nice New Year's Eve, guys," I sighed, digging around in my purse for my car keys as I side stepped around him.

"Any plans tonight, Bella?"

"Are you going anywhere?"

"Who will you kiss when the ball drops?"

"I'm going somewhere, but I guess you'll just have to find me on your own, won't you?" I laughed half-heartedly, shaking my head as I finally found my keys and wrapped my fingers around them. "And the only person I'll be kissing tonight is my reflection. Good night, guys."

It figures that I finally had someone worth being with for New Year's Eve and I wouldn't even be able to get my kiss in. Maybe I could call him and we could just talk through it. We'd have two different mini New Year's celebrations – mine three hours ahead of his.

I quickly unlocked my truck and slid in, backing out and taking off towards the house as quickly as possible. I looked in my rear view mirror, satisfied that they still hadn't followed me as of yet and relaxed minutely as I pulled onto my road.

I didn't even get online anymore. Not that I did much to begin with, but I definitely didn't even attempt to now. I was afraid of the pictures I'd find or the blurbs I'd read about how I wasn't good enough for their precious pre-conceived notions of who Edward really was. I did my best to avoid the supermarket at all costs, too. Only when I really needed something did I suck it up and go and studiously avoided looking at the tabloids at the check-out. I had no desire to torture myself with any of that.

I saw Rose's car parked in my old driveway as I drove closer and rolled my eyes, pulling into Edward's driveway and shutting off the car as I pushed open the door, grabbed my purse and jumped down from the cab. She really hadn't been kidding about getting me ready as soon as I got home from work. Why she didn't just park in this driveway was beyond me.

Shaking my head, I shook the house key apart from the rest and walked up the steps, not bothering to wait for Rosalie as I made it to the door and unlocked it. She'd be over here soon enough as it was. I took a deep breath, my breath hitching in my chest as his scent continued to linger and make me miss him that much more as I stepped in.

Throwing my purse onto the table next to the door, I closed the door and shed my coat, throwing it on the rocking chair and immediately walking into the dining room to grab the phone. Just as I flipped off my shoes and went to turn the phone on to call Edward as per usual, it rang and his cell number flashed on the small screen of the caller ID. A smile immediately tugged at my lips and I was quick to answer it, pressing it against my ear as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey."

"Well hello there, lovely Bella!"

I stopped abruptly, staring at the stove as I heard Alice's voice on the other end of the line as opposed to the deep, musical voice that I'd come to adore even more in the past week than I ever had before.

Why the hell was she calling me? She'd never called me before. She'd never had to.

My throat clogged as I thought about the reasons; something had happened. Something was wrong with Edward and she was calling to tell me the horrible news that I'd just lost him.

My heart plummeted into my stomach.

"Alice? Is everything okay?" I asked quickly, my voice already hoarse.

"I need you to listen very carefully to me, all right?"

I let out a choked breath and quickly reached over to grab onto the counter to steady myself when I felt my knees starting to give out.

"Alice, what happened? What's going on? Is Edward all right?"

"Oh, he's fine," she said flippantly.

I crashed against the counter, my breath coming out in heaving pants as I leaned down to rest my forehead against the cool surface, letting the relief wash over me in waves.

"Alice, you can't do that to me."

"What…? Oh! No! Sorry," she laughed.

I wanted to strangle her.

"What do you want, Alice?" I sighed, still concentrating on regulating my breathing. "I've got to get ready. Rose will be over here any minute."

"That's why you need to listen very carefully!" she exclaimed brightly.

"All right, I'm listening."

I stood up from the counter and walked into the dining room, flopping into one of the chairs at the table and tapping my fingernails against the surface.

"There's a plane ticket at the Albany airport with your name on it. It's leaving at six-fifteen and you need to be on it."

"What are you talking about?" I sighed, reaching up and rubbing my forehead.

The woman gave me a headache. She may be small, but she had a knack for driving me over the edge.

"My brother is fucking miserable, Bella, and we're all tired of seeing him this way. He's only happy when he's talking about you or to you and to be perfectly honest, we can't stand it anymore."

"Mm," I mumbled, my heart starting to beat rapidly against my chest at the mere mention that he was in pain, too. I didn't like it. "What does that have to do with a plane ticket?"

"You're coming out here tonight to be with him for the New Year. At least, we're all hoping that you will. Please, Bella," she begged. "He needs you here."

I swallowed hard, biting my bottom lip as my eyes filled for what felt like the millionth time since the twenty-second.

"Alice…"

"Bella, please," she begged in a whisper. "We can't stand it. He's hurting so much and Christmas was absolutely excruciating. We can't go through another holiday with him like this."

I closed my eyes tightly, feeling the tears trail down my cheeks.

"He needs you," she said again.

And oh God, how I needed him, too. And he was always there for me when I needed him. What kind of a girlfriend would I be if I didn't go to him when he finally needed me?

I heard the front door open and opened my eyes to look over at Rose, seeing a rather large purple duffel bag that I'd never seen before in my life clutched in her hands.

"How am I gonna get there? I don't have…" I jumped up from the chair, running my hands through my hair, suddenly panicked. "I don't have anything packed."

"Yes, you do," Rosalie interrupted, holding up the duffel bag and smiling softly at me. "I've got everything but your toiletries packed in this bag, Bella."

I swallowed hard again and rushed over to her, crushing her into a tight hug.

"How did you…?"

"We exchanged numbers when she was here," she said, shrugging easily as she hugged me back. "And we both love the two of you so it made sense that we'd get this all set up because honestly, Bella, I can't stand seeing you so damn depressed anymore."

I looked up at her and squeezed her again, loudly and obnoxiously kissing her cheek.

"I love you, Rose."

"And I, you."

"Six-fifteen, Alice?" I asked, immediately switching into business mode.

"Yes!" she chirped and I could practically see her jumping up and down. "You'll get here around quarter till eleven and that'll be plenty of time for me to get you ready before you see him."

I couldn't even muster up the annoyance I wanted to feel at that. The only thing I could feel was the sudden elation making its way through my veins.

I was going to see Edward. I was going to be with him for the New Year. I'd get to see him and kiss him and hold him and be with him and I didn't give a damn if I'd only have tonight to do so. Being without him for this week made me realize how precious and sacred every second of my time with him had really been when he was here and I'd be damned if I'd waste it when I had the chance to have it back.

"All of the information is at the front desk for you, Bella."

"Thank you, Alice."

"Don't even mention it. Just get on that damn plane!"

"I will," I laughed, my voice watery as I backed away from Rose and ran up the stairs to the bathroom.

"We'll see you soon, Bella."

"Yes, yes, you will."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone without replying, sticking it in my jeans pocket as I gathered all of the things I'd need from the bathroom cabinet and ran back down the stairs. Rosalie already had the bag open and waiting for me as I ran over to her. I dropped everything inside, grabbed Edward's present from its spot on the table next to my keys and stuffed that inside as well before standing up and facing her.

She laughed at me and plucked the phone from my pocket before bending down to zip the bag and motioning with her chin towards my jacket.

"We've gotta hurry, Bella."

I grabbed it, throwing it over my shoulders before walking into the kitchen to shove the phone back on its base and quickly grabbing my purse and keys before bouncing excitedly on my heels. She laughed at me again, hefting the bag over her shoulder and turning to pull open the door. I locked it, pushing gently on her back as she walked onto the porch in an effort to make her move faster.

As we ran across the road and jumped into her car, I couldn't have controlled the grin that was taking up my face if I'd wanted to.

I was going to see Edward and everything in my life was suddenly back in balance.

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