Thirty

*Bella*

*Chapter Song - Couldn't Love You More*

I was never letting Alice drive me anywhere ever again. It had taken her all of twenty-five minutes to drive from the airport to the huge house on the hill that I didn't have time to gawk at instead of the hour that she informed me it should've taken.

My nerves were shot. I was dressed in a long black silk gown that Alice had brought with her to the airport, had only allowed her the smallest amount of make-up despite her whining, was wearing a pair of heels that had the potential to kill me and I was almost too fucking scared to move from my seat once she'd parked in the garage. It could've been just pure terror that kept me rooted to the seat as Alice bounced out or it could've been the fact that I really couldn't comprehend that I was going to see Edward tonight.

None of this seemed real. The plane ride didn't seem real, the insanely short drive to what could only be classified as a mansion didn't seem real, this dress and these damn heels didn't seem real and it sure as hell didn't seem real that Edward was only a short walk away from me.

"Come on, Bella!" Alice laughed, yanking open my door and grabbing my arm. "They'll be home any minute and I need to do your hair!"

I let her pull me out of the car, shaking my head and wondering where he was if not inside as I followed her – half-tripping – into a house that was packed with what seemed like thousands of people. Half of my little town could fit into this damn house and there'd still be plenty of room for the next town over.

She pulled me up a staircase and then down a long hallway before shoving me into a bathroom and immediately grabbing an already warm curling iron.

I wasn't even going to ask her anything about it because I was pretty sure that I didn't want to know.

"He's going to die when he sees you," she giggled before grabbing onto a lock of my hair and twisting it into the iron. "And it'll be really nice to not have to see him looking so damn depressed."

"What if he doesn't want me here?"

She looked over my shoulder, clearly standing on her toes, to glare at me in the mirror.

"Did you take some sort of drugs while you were on the plane, Bella? He's done nothing but miss you. I wasn't kidding when I said that the only time he seemed human again was when he was talking about you or to you."

"I didn't want him to feel like that," I swallowed hard, pressing my hands against my suddenly queasy stomach.

"Nothing was going to stop him. Now stop worrying."

She lightly slapped my shoulder before she disappeared behind me and began tugging on my hair again.

"He told our grandmother about you, you know," she started.

"Okay," I said slowly, fanning my fingers out on my stomach and closing my eyes.

"He doesn't tell our grandmother about anyone."

I swallowed hard and couldn't fight the smile tugging at my lips.

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Bella. He's not gonna know what to do with you first."

"Oh, I've got a few ideas," I breathed out, laughing.

"That's my girl!"

"I didn't… mean it like that," I mumbled, feeling my face heat up.

"Well, it works either way," she stated brightly.

The door burst open and I jumped, looking over to find Esme standing in the doorway. She was wearing a long purple dress, her red-brown hair pulled up into what I assumed was a French twist, a bright smile on her face and her blue eyes shining with what I could only interpret as excitement. I'd met her only briefly once a few years ago, but I could've sworn that she never aged. There were no wrinkles threatening any part of her face, unlike my own mother's, and she seemed to have half the energy Alice must've gotten from her.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, walking over to us and wrapping her arms tightly around my waist, careful to avoid Alice's iron. "I'm so happy to see you again!"

I laughed and nodded, trying not to move too much as I hugged her back.

"You, too, Esme."

"And you look so beautiful! Oh, he's not going to know what to do with you first."

Alice burst out laughing and I sighed heavily, smirking and shaking my head slightly.

"What's the plan, Al?" Esme asked, slowly circling us and nodding in approval.

I felt a bit like a monkey in a cage with the way Esme was accessing me and Alice was grooming me. If she started sorting through my hair and looking for bugs, I was leaving.

"Jasper texted me when they were leaving the pool hall about forty-five minutes ago. They should be here any minute."

"Go get ready! I'll take care of Bella."

I swallowed hard, the reality of Esme being my boyfriend's mother finally sinking into my head as I watched her move behind me and take the curling iron from Alice's hands.

"Calm down, Bella!" Alice exclaimed, gently patting my shoulder before she sprinted out of the bathroom.

Yeah, right, because this situation was definitely going to put me at ease. I had no idea how Esme felt about me and I had no idea how she felt about me dating her extremely famous and talented son. Maybe she hated me or thought that I wasn't good enough for him. Maybe she'd use this opportunity to accidentally burn the side of my face and rush me to the hospital to keep me away from Edward for a little while longer.

I pushed my hands even tighter against my stomach as I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths.

"I always wondered how long it would take for the two of you get together," she mused before pulling up another lock of hair and twisting it around the iron.

I looked up, meeting her eyes as she peered over my shoulder in the mirror and tried to smile at her.

"Really?"

She nodded, smiling back at me as she rolled the iron to my head.

"The way you two interacted when I was there brought something out in him that I hadn't seen in a very long time. I was worried that he was spending too much time out in California and was becoming one of the irresponsible man whores you see on TV or hear about in the papers and such."

My jaw dropped open at Esme's terminology before I covered my mouth with my hand and laughed.

"But," she laughed, holding up one finger as she slowly uncurled my hair from the iron, "when I saw him with you, it was easy to see that my fears were unfounded. Even though you two weren't dating yet, there was something very clearly there between you. I've never seen him this torn up about anyone before and while I don't enjoy it, I'm glad to see that he's still my son."

My eyes watered and I dropped my hand to place it on my stomach again, biting my bottom lip as she grabbed the last visible patch of hair and twirled it around the iron.

"And I'm glad that he's with you," she said quietly, dropping my hair from the iron once it was curled. "You seem to be exactly what he needs and I'm thankful that you're finally together."

She moved to my side and set the iron down on the counter, grabbing my shoulders and turning me to face her.

"I respect you for not dropping everything for him." She grabbed a can of hairspray and I quickly closed my eyes and scrunched up my nose in preparation. "And I like that you're strong and are sticking your ground."

She sprayed my hair, walking in another circle around me before coming to a stop. I opened my eyes again and relaxed as she put the can on the counter as well.

"But if you've felt half of what Edward has this past week, then the both of you really need to sit down and talk about what you're going to do." She smiled softly and tilted her head, placing her hands on my cheeks and leaning up to kiss my forehead. "It's not worth it in the long run to live without your other half."

"No," I choked out, shaking my head and sucking in a deep breath, "it's not."

She smiled and pushed hair back from my face like my mother would do when I was younger and in need of comforting.

"Deep breaths; no crying," she smiled, stepping down. "Tonight starts a new year for all of us and it's definitely not a night for crying."

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes briefly, shaking my head before opening my eyes and smiling down at her.

"I love him, you know," I said softly.

"Oh, honey, I knew that before either of you even thought about it."

I laughed and shrugged.

"We're late bloomers."

She laughed and pulled me into a hug that I gratefully returned. She didn't hate me and hadn't tried to burn my face off and aside from Alice's crazy driving on the way here, the night seemed to be a success so far.

And now, I wanted Edward. I wanted him in my arms, I wanted his lips on mine and I wanted his voice in my ear. Fuck, I just wanted him.

We both jumped apart when the door slammed open and turned to find a very large man taking up the entire doorway dressed in a nice suit and with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Emmett," Esme sighed, shaking her head.

"There she is!" He barreled over to me and grabbed me into a hug, lifting me completely off the floor and causing me to shriek loudly as I grabbed onto his shoulders for any type of support. "'Bout damn time you got here, woman!"

He set me back down on my feet and stepped back, still grinning at me as I gaped up at him.

To be perfectly honest, I was pretty damn terrified. He was huge and probably had the ability to crush me if he felt so inclined to do so.

"Emmett, was that really necessary?"

"Hey, if she's the one that's gonna get Edward all… not bitchy, then I love her already. Do you know he's been staring at his phone the entire night?"

I opened my mouth, my voice coming out in a squeak as I said, "He has?"

He nodded, rolling his eyes.

"Do you know how hard it was not to tell him that you were coming? My God and he whines like it's his damn job or something!" He rolled his eyes again and reached up to thread his fingers through his short, curly hair. "So, we're all really thankful that you're here."

"Emmett," Esme hissed, glaring at him. "Where is he?"

"Changing, I think. I saw Alice heading down there to him so I can only assume that's what he's doing right now."

"And Jasper?"

"Changing."

"Okay, Bella." Esme reached over and grabbed my hand, smiling reassuringly at me. "Are you ready?"

"God, yes."

Emmett laughed loudly and pushed his way out of the bathroom, looking up and down the hallway before motioning us with his hand to come up behind him like we were on a top secret mission. I heard Esme sigh and looked over to find her shaking her head and I laughed quietly, following her as she led us out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Alice was easy to pick out; she'd been talking about that red halter dress the entire ride from the airport. She was standing with who I assumed was Jasper, the tall, thin dirty blonde guy that had a protective arm wrapped around her waist in the middle of the entire room, underneath a disco ball of all things.

"Cool, huh?" Emmett asked from behind me as we reached the landing. "My idea."

I looked behind me and gave him an uneasy laugh before being whisked in between people and narrowly missed having a drink dumped over my head before Emmett pushed the guy out of the way.

Alice was quick to introduce me to Jasper and I shook his hand, smiling nervously at him as they all huddled around me. Carlisle joined us shortly after that and once I was re-introduced to him, Alice hissed to us that he was walking down the stairs.

The butterflies that hadn't had a chance to make an appearance yet came out in full force in my stomach and I blew out a shaky breath, turning around in a circle to see if I could find him.

"Okay, he's getting a drink," Jasper stated, his full lips twisted to the side and his bright brown eyes alight with mischief. "Let's go."

And with that, they all disappeared from around me. Blinking at the spaces they'd occupied a few seconds ago and shaking my head, I turned to face the table I'd seen as I walked down the stairs and found him, dressed to the nine's in a suit that made my mouth water.

I don't know if I expected him to look any differently from our time apart, but seeing him right this minute reminded me of the first time I'd talked to him. My hands were shaking, my heart was beating rapidly against my chest and my throat had gone bone dry in much the same fashion as when I showed up on his porch with a case of beer. I clasped my hands in front of me to keep them steady and boldly met his eyes.

And he was still just… everything. My heart, my soul, every fiber of my being was wrapped up in everything about him and I was finally going to be with him again. It didn't matter that I was nervous or that it felt like little pieces of me might break off if I didn't get this shaking under control. All that mattered was that we were that much closer to being together again.

But he was glaring at me as I stared back at him and I swallowed hard. Why was he looking at me that way? Why wasn't he over here, wrapping me up in his arms and telling me how much he missed me?

I continued to watch as he rolled his eyes and looked away from me, lifting the beer bottle to his lips and shaking his head. I felt my eyes water and turned on my heel, trying to find Alice so that I could ask her if this was what he really wanted.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were all wrong and he didn't want me here at all. Maybe our phone conversations were just pointless and meaningless and he just thought that it'd be funny to string me along while he was away. My dream came back at me full force, his words ringing in my head; "Oh, Bella, I'm an actor. I can make you believe anything."

I didn't see Alice anywhere and ended up turning to face him again. My hands were twisting nervously around each other and my bottom lip was in between my teeth as I watched him standing there with the same look on his face. I felt a tear travel down my cheek and looked over at the front door, wondering if there was any way I could get out of it without someone coming after me.

Knowing that would never happen, I reached up and wiped the tears off my cheeks, wondering if this night could possibly get any worse. I'd been so damn happy a minute ago, knowing that I'd see him soon and feel like I was complete once again. Now I just felt like an ass and wanted to go back to New York and hide in my empty house.

I looked down at my feet and crossed one arm under my breasts, reaching up with one hand to keep the tears off of my face for just a few minutes longer.

I couldn't even move. It was like my feet were rooted to the ground and there was absolutely no way I'd be able to move no matter how much the situation called for it.

I looked up, startled when I saw a pair of overly shiny shoes enter my vision and saw that he was standing in front of me, looking frazzled and slightly dazed.

"It's you," he whispered.

And when he reached up to push hair behind my ear, everything inside of me melted. I felt complete and whole and home and could only nod. And then I was in his arms, lifted off the floor and clinging to his neck as he buried his face into my hair and swayed us from side to side while mumbling things that I didn't understand into my ear.

I didn’t care that he'd been glaring at me a minute ago, I didn't care that I'd felt like my world was caving in around me; all I cared about right now was that I was finally back where I belonged.

"It's really you," he whispered as he set me down on my feet and reached up to frame my face in his hands.

I just nodded again, letting out a strangled laugh as I grabbed onto his wrists and rubbed my thumbs over the undersides of them.

"I've been seeing you everywhere," he choked out, stepping up against me and leaning down to rest his forehead on mine. "I didn't think it was really… I'm sorry."

I shook my head, closing my eyes briefly and pressing my lips together tightly.

"It's okay. It's okay, it's okay," I laughed shakily, forcing a breath into my lungs. "I'm here."

His lips were on mine then, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth as he rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks. I moved my hands from his wrists, reaching out and placing them on his waist, fisting my fingers into his suit jacket as I ran my tongue along his top lip.

"Fifteen minutes to midnight!" the deejay announced from his booth over in the corner of the room.

We ignored him and the shouts that rose up around us at the knowledge, his mouth opening to mine and his tongue snaking out and tangling with mine. His hands moved from my cheeks and threaded through my stiff hair, pulling slightly as he tilted his head to press his mouth more firmly against mine.

Everything around us seemed to fade away and it was just us. We were back in our bubble and nothing outside of it mattered. I didn't care about the people around us, I didn't care about the music pulsing, I didn't care that every time he moved one of his fingers, my sprayed and knotted hair pulled; I didn't care about anything but being back in Edward's arms.

He backed away from me, gently running kisses along my jaw as we caught our breath and clung to each other.

"How did you…?"

"Alice."

"Oh, I so owe her."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his chest as his arms wrapped around my shoulders. He rested his cheek against the side of my head, burying his nose into my hair.

"I don't think I’m ever gonna let you go," he whispered into my ear.

I tightened my arms around his waist and turned my head to press my lips against his chest through his shirt. I stood up on my toes and rested my cheek against his, my lips at his ear.

"Don't," I whispered.

He laughed and his hands were back in my hair, tilting my head up so his lips could capture mine again.

"All right, last minute request. This song goes out to Edward and Bella!"

He broke away from me and we both turned to look at the deejay booth, seeing Alice standing next to one of the speakers with her hands clasped up by her chin and a grin on her face as she bounced up and down on her heels.

She might've annoyed me more than words could possibly express the entire ride over here with talk of that damn dress and Jasper and she might've tortured me with the minimal amount of make-up I'd allowed her to slap on me at the airport, but right now, I wanted to kiss her.

She was the one that made all of this happen, after all. I probably wouldn't be standing in his arms if it wasn't for her and there was absolutely no way that I could ever repay her for it.

"After the big parade, when all the limelight fades, I'll be the one to kiss your eyes," Edwin McCain's voice floated out through the speakers and I looked up at Edward.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked, his hands moving from my hair and resting on my hips when his eyes met mine.

I nodded, reaching up and placing my hands on his shoulders, following his steps as he started to turn us in slow circles. I saw out of the corner of my eye as a lot of the people that I'd forgotten about abandoned the center of the room, shuffling over to the sides of the room or the drink table and the noise level decreased significantly.

"The roar fades in the air like hope from a lover's prayer, the light from my heart begins to rise."

Edward twisted his lips to the side and he pulled me tight against him, his arms circling my hips as I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms completely around his neck, not breaking our eye contact.

"Still can't believe you're here," he said softly, his hands splaying out on my back as he continued to lead us in slow circles.

"Believe it," I laughed, nodding and sucking in a deep breath.

"And they said I couldn't love you, and that it would never last. He's just a crazy boy, just look at his past. And they said I couldn't love you, but that was just a lie. I couldn't love you more if I tried."

"You were everywhere I looked tonight, Bella. Every brunette turned into you." He leaned down to rest his forehead against mine and breathed out a laugh. "I thought I was going crazy."

I laughed and shook my head, reaching up and threading my hands through his hair.

"And then you were here and I'd been wishing so hard that you would be that I never… it didn't click until I saw you crying that it was you. I'm so sorry about that."

"Shut up," I whispered, shaking my head. "It doesn't matter now."

"I never want to make you cry. I never want to see you crying over me again."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up," I laughed, bouncing up on my toes and pressing my lips to his again.

"I was the lucky one, the one having all the fun. Running into the sun, the party never ends. You waited there for me, so loving and patiently. Shutting out sad words from your friends."

"How long are you…?" he asked as he pulled away from me, his eyes closed tightly when I opened mine.

"Uhm… that's a good question. I never… I never asked Alice. I just had to get on that plane. I had to get to you," I whispered, watching as his eyes opened again.

"Yeah?" he asked, a small smile forming on his lips.

I laughed and nodded.

"You needed me."

"And they said I couldn't love you, and that it would never last. He's just a crazy boy, just look at his past. And they said I couldn't love you, but that was just a lie. I couldn't love you more if I tried."

The smile fell from his lips and his eyes darkened a little as he nodded once.

"And what kind of girlfriend would I be," I started, licking my lips when I felt a lump form in my throat, "if I didn't come to you when you needed me?"

"I don't own any armor, and I might not be that brave. You might be the one I rescue, but I'll be the one you save."

He scoffed, seeming to bite back a smile as he shook his head and licked his lips. I tilted my head at him, swallowing hard and trying to decipher what the hell that meant.

"You saved me," he whispered, the corners of his mouth twitching briefly before he shook his head again. "You came all the way out here to be with me just because I needed you?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip.

"I'm supposed to be," he choked out a laugh, "the knight in shining armor and instead… it was you."

"Are you against that?"

"What?" His eyes bulged out and he quickly shook his head. "No. Fuck no. Feel free to charge in here on a white horse at any time and hell, if you want to be completely naked while you're at it, be my guest."

I threw my head back and laughed, holding on tightly to him as he buried his face in my neck, laughing with me even as he continued to move us around in slow circles.

"I'll remember that," I laughed as I brought my head back up and rested my cheek against his ear.

"Please do," he mumbled, his lips moving slowly across my skin.

I smiled and closed my eyes as the song faded out, still moving in slow circles with him even as the next upbeat song sounded throughout the house. We continued swaying slowly for three more songs no matter what the tempo of them was, neither of us in any hurry to move from the other.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked, finally pulling his head away from my neck to look down at me.

"Yeah, okay."

He moved his arms from my waist, framing my face in his hands and leaning down to kiss me once more. He dropped his hands and backed away, grabbing my hand and leading me to the drink table. He squeezed my hand before letting go and grabbing a Coors Light for me before choosing a Heineken for himself. He effortlessly flipped the top off of mine before doing the same to his and grabbing me around the waist again.

I laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist as well, leaning my head against his chest and sipping off the bottle. I watched as couples danced together on the floor, one seeming to always be drunker than the other and forced to help the other stand up straight. I saw Emmett on the other side of the room, leaning against a girl in a bright green dress with one of his large arms anchoring him above her. I snorted and shook my head, briefly thinking of what both Edward and Alice had said about Rosalie being the perfect match for him.

"What?" Edward asked, leaning down close to my ear and kissing my temple.

"Emmett," I laughed, motioning with my beer bottle. "And Rosalie."

"Ah," he laughed back, nodding and nuzzling his cheek against mine. "We should get them to meet sometime soon, don't you think?"

I kissed his cheek softly and nodded, shrugging one shoulder.

"Are we ready for that?"

He pulled back and grinned down at me, carefully pushing hair behind my ear with his fingertips as he kept a firm grip on the bottle.

"With you, I'm ready for anything."

I grinned back at him, stepping up on my toes and kissing him soundly, fisting my fingers in the back of his jacket. When I went to pull away from him, he turned and pressed himself against me, wrapping his other arm around me and pulling me firmly against him. I smiled, sucking his top lip into my mouth as I snaked my arm in between his and wrapped it around his waist with my other one.

"Are you two seriously going to do that all night?"

Emmett was suddenly standing by us and I briefly wondered what happened to the girl he was hovering over a minute ago until Edward's tongue danced along my bottom lip.

And then I didn't care who was standing next to us. It could've been the Pope and I wouldn't have moved.

"Yes," Edward finally answered him before sliding his bottom lip in between mine and kissing me again.

"It's not even midnight yet! Let the girl breathe!"

"Past midnight in New York," I managed, tilting my head and brushing my lips over his. "And I'm breathing just fine."

I sucked his top lip in between mine again, nearly forgetting about the beer bottle I had in my hand when it slipped a little, causing me to tighten my arms around his waist as I kept my hold on it.

"How long are you staying, Bella?"

"Forever," I mumbled, smiling when I felt Edward's lips curve up into a smile as well.

Emmett huffed loudly and I didn't even care when he stole the bottle from my hand, presumably to drink it himself. He was more than welcome to it; I was a little busy at the moment.

"I've got a lifetime of this to look forward to?" he grumbled.

"Yes," Edward mumbled, his hands snaking their way up my back and grabbing onto my shoulders. "Get used to it, Emmett."

"Great. First Alice and Jasper and now you two. This is some pretty depressing shit right here. I need to get laid."

I laughed at that, unable to keep it in anymore and moved my mouth from Edward's, leaning forward and resting my forehead on his chest.

"Supposed to get rid of a headache you know," he continued conversationally. "Maybe it can cure a hangover."

"Is there something you wanted?" Edward asked, turning us and looking over at Emmett as he grinned at us.

"Don't forget the ritual," he pointed with my beer bottle at Edward. "Five minutes until midnight."

"Ritual?" I asked, turning my head to rest my cheek against Edward's chest and look over at Emmett.

"Do I really…?"

"Yes!" Emmett exclaimed, standing up straight and narrowing his eyes at Edward. "We do it every year, Edward, and you're not getting out of it." Then he looked at me and grinned. "And you're doing it, too."

"What am I doing?"

"You'll find out."

He lifted the bottle to his lips and with his eyebrows wiggling at us, he walked away. Edward sighed and rested his chin on the top of my head, swaying us from side to side.

"What are we doing?"

"How's your alcohol intake?"

I backed away from him to look up and raise an eyebrow at him. He smirked and shrugged, leaning down and gently pecking my lips.

"Why?"

"Are you a lightweight?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"What I'm drinking."

"Oh, love," he laughed, leaning down and kissing me again. "You're gonna be pretty damn hammered in that case."

"Why?"

"Nine straight shots, all in a row, of Jack Daniel's."

All the air in my lungs escaped through my lips and I blinked slowly at him.

"What?" I rasped.

"We've done this since mom and dad decided that it was better for us to get piss-ass drunk at home where it was safe instead of some random friend's house. Whatever the last digit is of the new year is how many shots we take as soon as the ball drops."

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"I'd never kill you," he whispered, smiling and brushing his lips over mine again. "I wouldn't be able to survive without you."

"Nine shots?" I screeched. "I'll die!"

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

I huffed, still blinking slowly at him before I tilted my head, all of what he'd said finally sinking in a little bit.

"How many shots did you do for the year two thousand?"

He laughed loudly, jerking my hips against his and leaning down to kiss me again.

"We spent the entire night doing as many shots of as many things we could come up with. I don't remember much about that night but I do remember waking up partially naked next to a very irate random girl that I'd never seen before."

I pursed my lips, fighting to hold back a smile as I imagined a very drunk Edward stumbling his way around the house.

"She said that we were almost there and then I fell asleep on her," he laughed, shaking his head and leaning down to bury his nose into my hair. "Oh, she was pissed."

I laughed and shook my head, taking a deep breath and rubbing my hands over his back.

"Will you do me a favor then?"

"Anything."

"As soon as I finish those shots," I whispered, turning my head to bury my face into his neck and pressing my lips against his skin, "you'll take me to bed."

"Yeah, sure," he said easily, shrugging.

"No," I whispered, pulling the bottom of his ear into my mouth and running my tongue along its edge. "You'll take me to bed, Edward."

He moaned quietly and I smiled triumphantly, nipping his ear gently before moving my mouth.

"Do we have a deal?"

"Yes," he breathed quickly, his arms tightening around my waist.

"Okay then."

"Maybe we don't need to do the shots," he mumbled, placing open mouthed kisses against my neck.

"It's your ritual; we can't just abandon it."

"They haven't lived without you for the past week and a half."

My heart fluttered and I tightened my arms around his waist again, trying to get as close to him as I possibly could.

"Two minutes, people!" the deejay announced. "Turn that television on!"

"Come on," I whispered, reaching around me and grabbing one of his hands in mine. "I want to kiss you at midnight."

He stood up straight, set the half full beer bottle on the table behind us and kissed me again, squeezing my hand as he backed away and led us back into the sea of people. We walked up to stand behind Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme and Emmett as everyone else began to gather around the flat screen television mounted on the wall with Ryan Seacrest jabbering on about whatever it was he thought was important.

Esme looked over her shoulder and smiled at us, one of her arms wrapped around Carlisle's waist as she leaned against him. I smiled back at her, nestling into Edward's side as he wrapped his arm around my waist as well.

And as the ball began to drop from its perch in New York City, the countdown starting at ten, I looked up at Edward to find him looking down at me with a small smile on his face.

"What?" I mouthed, tilting my head.

He turned and wrapped his other arm around my waist as well, leaning down and resting his forehead against mine.

"I'm still trying to make sure that you're real," he said quietly, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke. "That I'm not just imagining all of this."

"You're not." I reached up to frame his face with my hands and shook my head. "I'm with you. I'm here and I'm with you."

"I missed you so much, Bella. I felt like…" he laughed breathlessly, closing his eyes tightly and shaking his head, "like I couldn't breathe. I wasn't myself without you."

"Seven…six…"

"Neither was I." I tangled my fingers in his hair and waited for him to open his eyes again. "But we're together now."

"Three… two…"

"I love you," he whispered, his mouth against mine as the countdown ended and Auld Lang Syne blared through not only the television but the deejay's speakers as well.

I barely heard the shouts and screams and loud laughter as I moved my hands from his hair and wrapped my arms around his neck. I smiled as his arms tightened around me, his fingertips digging into my waist.

"Come on, you two! You've got all night for that!" Emmett shouted at us before grabbing one of each of our arms and yanking us apart.

"One of these days, Emmett," Edward started, glaring at him, "I'm going to kill you."

"Well it's not gonna be tonight! Come on; Jack's waiting for us in the kitchen!"

I laughed, my heart feeling lighter than it had felt in a week and a half as we let Emmett pull us along, apologizing to the drunk people that we were knocking around before we made it into the kitchen. Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were already there, obviously managing to slip by us while we were otherwise occupied and they were gathered around the surprisingly clear kitchen island, their voices raised in laughter and spirit as they waited for us.

Emmett finally let go of us and I was quick to grab Edward's hand, not wanting to be apart from him for any longer than I had to be.

"Happy New Year!" Jasper shouted, throwing a handful of metallic confetti at us as we joined them.

Was there even any confetti around to begin with?

"He's had a bit to drink," Alice laughed in apology, reaching over and picking the flaky pieces out of Edward's hair.

"Dude, we've barely been home for half an hour," Emmett snapped his fingers in Jasper's face, making him twitch and glare at him. "What'd you do? Pound some Jaeger?"

"Yes," Alice confirmed, laughing.

We all watched as Jasper started leaning more to one side than the other before Carlisle caught him, shaking his head and laughing at him as he set Jasper upright again.

"Glad I won't be the one cleaning up after him," Carlisle laughed, walking back over to Esme and standing next to her, leaning against the counter and raising an eyebrow at Edward. "Are you guys ready?"

I looked down at the lined up shot glasses in front of me and pursed my lips, looking up at Edward. He laughed at me and squeezed my hand before letting go and stripping off his suit jacket. My mouth watered as he rolled up the sleeves to his white dress shirt and loosened his tie.

"We're ready," Edward confirmed, placing both of his hands firmly on the counter and leaning over slightly to stare directly into his father's eyes. "Bring it on, old man."

Carlisle threw his head back and laughed, his perfectly styled blonde hair shaking loose slightly before he abruptly stopped laughing and leaned forward to meet Edward's gaze again in something that looked like a challenge.

"They do this every year," Alice sighed, shaking her head as she reached out and grabbed the first shot glass lined up for her. "And every year, dad's the one we have to carry upstairs."

"Jasper's not too far behind," Emmett pointed out, eyeing his own shot glasses eagerly and licking his lips. "Don't think he'll make it past the second one."

"He's sleeping in the bathroom."

I laughed and took a deep breath, grabbing my own shot glass in my hand and examining the amber liquid inside.

"I'm not putting him there," Esme stated, shaking her head as she grabbed a glass of her own. "He's all yours this year."

"I will be fine," Jasper finally slurred, swaying slightly as he pointed at all of us. "Gimmie dat," he mumbled, snatching one of the shot glasses off the island and spilling half of it on the floor.

"All right!" Esme exclaimed, raising her shot glass and leaning into the middle of the island.

Automatically, Edward and Carlisle relaxed and picked up one of their own, quickly raising them in the middle by Esme's hand. Edward looked over at me, grinning and reaching over to wrap an arm around my waist and pull me against him as I raised my own glass next to his. Alice eyed her husband as he stumbled against the island, his hand shaking as he raised his glass before she shook her head, laughed and raised her glass at the same time Emmett did.

"This year will be better than last," Esme started.

"Even though last year was a pretty damn good year," Edward interjected, his hand squeezing my hip.

I smiled up at him and nodded, leaning up and kissing the edge of his jaw.

"So let's drink to the start of two thousand and nine!" Esme exclaimed, clinking her glass against everyone else's.

With that, we all lowered our glasses to our lips and downed the first shot, no one stopping to breathe as we grabbed the second and continued on.

And when all of the glasses in front of everyone were empty, I barely had my glass back on the island before Edward turned to me and pressed his lips roughly against mine. I hummed against his lips and tasted the alcohol on his tongue, feeling extremely warm and a little lightheaded as he pulled me tightly against him.

"Good night, all!" he exclaimed, bending down and scooping me up in his arms. "We'll be down at some point tomorrow!"

I laughed, waving at them over his shoulder before I leaned forward and placed open mouthed kisses against his throat, my arms tight around his neck. He moaned as I moved up to the bottom of his chin, nipping lightly and holding on as tightly as I could while he ran up the stairs.

He practically threw me on the bed as we made it into his room and I laughed, bouncing on the mattress and quickly scrambling onto my knees as he slammed the door shut. He walked over to me and I grabbed his tie, pulling him close to me.

"Happy new year, Edward," I whispered, my hands quickly working the knot out of his tie.

"Happy new year, indeed," he whispered back, grinning as he grabbed my hips and pulled me against him.

Once the tie was out of the way, the buttons on his shirt became increasingly harder to see, much less poke through their respective holes to get the damn shirt open. I could only assume that he was having the same problem with the zipper of my dress, as he finally grunted and grabbed my hips again.

"Is this Alice's own little creation?" he asked, his words slurring together a bit.

"Yep."

"Then she can make another," he mumbled, his mouth hard against mine and his hands at the top of the back of the dress.

I gasped, laughing loudly as I felt him ripping the material away from my skin. I grabbed handfuls of his shirt in my hands, pulling forcefully and successfully popping a few buttons off his shirt. Not as many as I would've liked – that being all of them – but it was a start.

"That was pathetic, Bella," he laughed, ripping it the rest of the way and shrugging it off of his shoulders.

"I tried!"

He fought with one of the cuffs as it got stuck on his hand and I laughed again, leaning forward and covering my face with my hands as I listened to him grunting and cursing at the shirt.

"Bella!" he laughed, holding his hand out to me as I leaned back on my heels. "Pull."

I grabbed the end of his shirt and yanked on it, tumbling backwards onto the bed when it twisted around him, came loose easily and slipped off his hands. I just laughed a little more, his shirt resting on my legs as I stared up at the moving ceiling.

"You all right?"

I looked up as I felt the bed dipping down and licked my lips when I saw him crawling over me, his hair in his face and his lips slightly parted. Whimpering, I threw the shirt away from me and sat up to grab the back of his neck and yank his mouth to mine, pulling him down on top of me.

"Never been better," I mumbled, lifting my hips as he grabbed the tattered edges of the dress and pulled it down.

We managed to get the rest of our clothes off – not without getting a small and thankfully unimportant piece of Edward's boxers stuck in the zipper of his pants or fighting with the clasp on my strapless bra for a good ten minutes – and when he finally slid into me, all the alcohol I'd consumed seemed to completely disappear as I grabbed onto his shoulders and threw my head back into the mattress.

And it was only when he leaned down to press his lips softly against my collarbone and whispered I love you into my ear did I finally realize that I couldn't live without him. I couldn't live without this, I couldn't live without hearing those words directly in my ear every day, and I sure as hell couldn't live with him on one side of the country and me on the other.

And damn it, I wouldn't do it anymore.

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