*Bella*
*Chapter Song - Breathe In Breathe Out*
"What the hell is wrong with you, woman? You can't just go barging into other people's houses!"
I groaned, turning onto my side and grabbing the extra pillow next to me, clapping it over my head as I heard Emmett's booming, scratchy voice float up the stairs.
"Well maybe you shouldn't sleep naked!"
Oh Good Christ. I was going to kill the both of them.
Emmett and I had been here for a grand total of one damn day and when I wasn't up to my elbows in interviews, paperwork, boxes and trying to figure out what the hell to do with the shit still residing in my cabin, I was trying to mediate screaming matches between him and Rose. I'd had to call Angela and cancel dinner for the night, promising her that we'd all get together before I left and had made myself be satisfied with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. I hadn't had time to eat much of anything else.
For fuck's sake, I hadn't even been able to call Edward back and I missed him like fucking crazy. I'd been on the go – partially afraid that I'd fall asleep on my feet if I didn't keep moving – the minute the alarm went off that morning and hadn't had a chance to call him like I said I would. And when I did finally hear from him, he'd called at the worst possible time. I was in the middle of an interview, there was a line at the cash register that stretched almost all the way to the door and to top it all off, the toilet in the upstairs bathroom had magically broken.
Right after the supposedly innocent Emmett had gotten done with it.
I was never bringing him anywhere with me ever again. Once I got to California, I was hiding from him if he ever decided to visit. This was absolute madness. He'd wanted to come visit me at work, claiming that I hadn't given him any specific instructions on what needed to be packed and that he was bored sitting by himself. I'd finally gotten him to leave after a few hours when I had the chance to write down an extremely detailed list of what I needed or wanted him to pack into boxes for me.
So by the time I'd been able to get a plumber out there to fix the toilet, it was nearing nine at night and I was exhausted. I'd barely been able to navigate my truck up the road and into the driveway while keeping my eyes completely open. I'd trudged into the house only to hear Rosalie's voice raised in a high pitched tone that clearly indicated that she was probably looking around for something to throw at him.
I'd spent another two hours convincing her that Emmett didn't mean any harm by asking her if she wanted to learn to play baseball the right way.
I don't understand why Emmett had let her in to begin with if all they'd been doing is arguing with each other, but really hadn't had the energy to ask after grabbing the knife block from Rosalie's hands and dragging her upstairs and into the bedroom to see what she wanted.
They were worse than children. And I sure as hell hoped that Edward didn't want any kids because the two of them had officially convinced me that I never wanted them.
"Well, it hasn't been an issue until now!"
"You're sleeping in the fucking living room! How has this not been an issue before?"
"I always hear Bella when she gets up! Christ, woman, would you go away so that I can get dressed?"
"Stop calling me woman! I have a name!"
"Yeah, and it should be Pain in the Ass!"
Groaning again and rolling out of bed, I snatched the robe I'd found in Edward's closet and slung it over my shoulders, breathing in the faint scent of him before padding down the stairs, scratching the back of my head and sighing heavily.
"Rose," I grumbled as I reached the bottom of the stairs, peeking my head into the living room.
Emmett thankfully had a blanket wrapped tightly around his waist as he sat glaring at Rosalie from the couch and I relaxed, stepping into the room and raising an eyebrow at her. While I was thankful for his presence – mostly – I had no desire to see him naked.
"It's way too early for the two of you," I sighed, running a hand through my hair before wrapping both of my arms around my waist.
Hell, my alarm hadn't even gone off yet. Looking at the clock on the DVD player, I suppressed a groan when the neon green numbers told me it was only a little after six in the morning. I had half an hour more before I needed to actually be up and I didn't even want to think about everything that was waiting for me at the store.
"Well, I was on the treadmill this morning before having to get ready for work, innocently watching some entertaining television when I saw this," she started, still glaring at Emmett as she walked over to me and shoved a blank DVD in my face.
Blinking, I snatched the DVD from her and turned on the television and DVD player, shaking my head when I could almost feel the two of them glaring at each other behind my back.
"Couldn’t just tell me what it is, could you?" I grumbled, stepping back and sticking my hands into the pockets of the robe once it was loading.
"You wouldn't believe me anyway! I need some fishing line…"
I stilled all movement I was making and slowly looked over at her, swallowing hard. My heart picked up speed as she kept her eyes glued to the television screen, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Why?"
She merely stepped up to the DVD player and pushed the play button before stepping to the side and crossing her arms over her chest again.
"What the fuck do you need fishing line for? I can't imagine you fishing," Emmett grumbled.
"I don't fish," she said tightly, glaring over at him again.
"…and in other news, Edward Cullen is back in California and is wasting no time in getting reacquainted with some of his old friends."
My head snapped back to the television when I heard the woman's voice float through the screen, innuendo and amusement laced in her words.
"He was spotted leaving a popular, low-key nightclub in LA last night, arm-in-arm with Tanya Holden."
A video of the two of them flashed up on the screen and I gritted my teeth, watching as they walked up a steep hill together. They were arm-in-arm, just as the announcer had said, and were walking close, their heads bent in towards each other and looking just… fucking perfect together.
"When asked, he said they were just friends,” the annoyingly chipper brunette continued as she flashed back onto the screen, "but he wasn't seen leaving her building at all last night. There are reports that they were very into each other and seemed completely in sync with one another."
I swallowed hard and bunched my hands into fists, my jaw starting to ache and my heart echoing in my ears.
"We all want to know, Edward, what happened to Bella?"
I didn't realize that the choked, strangled sound I heard break the unnatural silence in the room was from me until I saw Rosalie walk up to me and hesitantly put her hand on my shoulder. The DVD flashed back to the menu and I continued to stare at it, swallowing convulsively as I tried to piece it all together in my mind.
"Bella, come on, you can't believe that," Emmett started. "Tanya is his friend and that's it. He could've snuck out a back door or something."
"Has he ever before?" I asked through my teeth, staring hard at the little box of the brunette's face on the screen from the DVD menu.
"Maybe?"
"I'll buy the fishing line tonight, Bella."
"You will do no such thing," I said forcefully, pointing at her and keeping my eyes on the box of the woman who had just made this a really bad fucking day. "You're gonna go to work right now and Emmett, you're going to get dressed."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Take a shower," I said, abruptly turning on my heel and starting back up the stairs.
"You can't just ignore this, Bella!" Rosalie shouted out behind me.
"It's not true anyway, so yes, she can!"
"Oh, shut up. You know nothing."
"He's my brother! I'm pretty sure I know this!"
"But you're here and he's there; you know nothing!"
"Go to work, Rose!" I shouted as I reached the top of the stairs. "I'll call you later!"
I slammed my way into the bathroom and leaned my back against the door, closing my eyes and taking as many deep breaths as I could manage in a short amount of time without hyperventilating and passing out.
We'd been over this; he'd clearly said that they were good friends so naturally, they'd hang out with each other while they could. Their lifestyle wasn't always conducive to friendly relationships between and a man and a woman so of course the media would build it up and make it something that it wasn't.
But what if it was? What if it all was true? What if this was Edward's way of telling me that he didn't want to be with me anymore? Or his way of saying that he'd changed his mind on me moving out there with him?
"Bella?" I heard Emmett's voice on the other side of the door. "Why don't you just call him?"
I opened my eyes, slamming my head back against the door and taking a few more deep breaths.
"Because it's three in the morning in California," I answered quietly, really not caring too much if he didn't hear me, "and he's got a lot going on. He needs his rest."
"Can I tell you something?"
I rolled my eyes and moved my head from the door, reaching up to tangle my hands in my hair.
"Be my guest, Emmett."
"Edward has dated enough for our entire family to know when he's serious about her. We know the mannerisms, we know the quirks he has and can usually tell if the girl he's seeing is anything close to being serious. We hadn't seen any of that in a long time… until he came home for Christmas."
I sucked in a sharp breath and pressed my lips together, feeling my eyes water as I dropped my arms and looked up at the ceiling again.
"The way he'd talk about you or the way he'd act after he'd just gotten off the phone with you; we all knew that this was different for him. And when he saw those pictures of you, I thought he was gonna lose it."
I slid down the door, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my elbows on them, leaning my head forward and tangling my hands in my hair again.
"Bella, he told our grandmother that he was going to marry you."
My heart beat painfully against my ribs and I bit down on my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut tightly and swallowing hard.
"And while he's never been opposed to marriage before, he's never mentioned anything about it with anyone else. Bella, Tanya is probably the closest friend he's got out there. And that's all they are so please don't listen to the television shows or Rosalie. You know how he feels about you. Don't doubt him."
I turned my head and took another deep breath, nodding.
"Thank you, Emmett," I said quietly before rubbing my hands over my face.
"Just think about what I said, all right?"
"I will."
I heard him tap on the door twice before I heard his retreating footsteps. With one more deep breath and using the heels of my hands to dig into my eyes, I pushed myself off the floor and stared in at the shower.
I could think about all of this later. Right now, I had a store to run and ten thousand things that needed to be done before I could even really concentrate on what the fuck had just happened.
An hour later, I pulled into the parking lot of my store to find that there were now six different vans waiting in the parking lot and as soon as they spotted me, two guys from each van hopped out with cameras around their necks.
Twelve fucking men were standing in the parking lot of my business with cameras in their hands on the worst fucking day possible and oh, I'd had my fill of them already this morning.
Taking a deep, steadying breath and reminding myself that I couldn't give them any kind of ammunition to use for future news, I slowly grabbed my purse and slid out of the truck, tightly gripping my keys in my hands as I rounded the back.
I immediately heard camera shutters clicking as I walked into their line of sight and bit the inside of my cheek as I kept my gaze on the front door.
"Bella, are you and Edward still together?" one of them called out.
I ground my teeth together and barely looked over at them, nodding and glaring at the cement beneath me.
"We're perfectly fine."
"Did you see the pictures of him with Tanya? What do you think of that?"
"I think he was out with a friend and you morons made it worse than it was." I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head, holding up a hand to them. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
"We only take the pictures, sweetheart. Someone else writes the stories," a dark haired man said with a thick New York City accent as he kept snapping pictures of me.
"I apologize," I said again, nodding. "It's been a rough morning."
With that, I walked as quickly as I could down the rest of the pathway and hastily shoved the key into the lock, stumbling into the quiet store and immediately locking the door behind me.
I had a very great urge to sit in here all day, never unlock the doors and hide underneath my desk upstairs with my arms over my head as I tried to forget about everything that had already happened in my day.
Leaning back against the door and reaching up to run my hands through my air, I blew out a deep breath before pushing myself off and starting towards the stairs.
I couldn't hide. Not in the figurative or literal sense because I was out there. I was romantically linked – as one of the fifty or so magazines that I'd seen in the racks of my own damn bookstore had said – to Edward Cullen and any hope of ever being normal or wanting to disappear and blend in with the rest of society was out of the question.
I pushed all the thoughts of Edward and Tanya and the paparazzi outside stalking the front door out of my mind as I shed my coat and set my purse underneath the desk once I'd reached my office, breathing evenly as I grabbed the first resume on the stack at my elbow and carefully smoothed it out in front of me.
I still had a business to run and damn it if I wasn't going to give it my full attention.
~*~
At two – when I finally had a little more than an hour without an interview scheduled – I rang out the last visible customer in the store and sat back in the chair to run my hands down my face.
I'd been successful in blocking out the Tanya and Edward situation for the majority of the day. Now that I'd sat back and was beginning to relax a little bit, however, it was all just there. Front and center in my mind, screaming at me and taunting me with all the little tidbits that I'd apparently been subconsciously coming up with all damn day.
Them lying in bed together, naked and tangled in expensive red silk sheets as they toasted my naiveté with expensive wine and boisterous laughter.
My heart broke and I felt sick to my stomach at the image my overactive imagination had brought to life and I leaned forward to rest my elbows on the desk and place my head in my hands.
But there was also a very big, rational part of my brain that said what Emmett had told me this morning was the truth. Edward had already told me that while yes, he and Tanya had dated for a short time, they'd managed to stay close friends when the relationship didn't work out. So being comfortable enough to walk down the street arm-in-arm with her was completely understandable and totally justifiable. If I had more guy friends, maybe I would've done the same thing with them.
Yet there was still that tiny, nagging, annoying as fuck voice inside of my head that kept saying that there was so much more to the story.
I'd never wanted to bash my head against the wall to shut it up more than I did right now.
Sitting back in my chair, I let my head roll back and reached up with one hand to tap my forehead as I stared at the upside down shelf of manuals behind me.
He loves me. I know he does and he'd never do anything like this to me. He wasn't that type of person and damn it, he loves me. Things don't feel this way; I don't act this way when I know it's not there. And it's there – right in my face, taking over my life and making everything else shift to exactly where it's supposed to be.
He'd given me no rational reason to doubt him about anything, so why was I? Because some chipper brunette who was very intent on making my life miserable without knowing about it said that I needed to question everything he did?
Fuck her. She didn't know me. She didn't even know him so why was I letting a few pictures and a story that definitely wasn't true get to me this way? And hell, this was only the beginning, I'm sure.
I'd need to toughen the hell up and trust him like I said I did because he deserved that. He deserved that from me and damn it, so do I.
Sitting up straight and immediately reaching over, I grabbed the phone with every intention of calling him to get this all out, over and done with.
But then the door opened.
I bit my bottom lip and stared longingly at the keypad on the phone before setting the receiver back in its cradle. Sighing, I looked up to find Sue strolling towards me with a very determined look on her face.
"Hey, Sue. Everything okay?" I asked, a little scared as she came to a stop right in front of the counter.
She silently pulled her leather gloves off her hands, watching me with a small smirk on her face as she set her purse and the newly freed gloves on top of the counter.
"I've been talking to your father," she started.
Oh, this couldn't end well.
"Okay," I said slowly when she continued to just stand there.
"We've decided that if you want me to and haven't found someone else already, I will take over the store for you when you're in California."
I blinked at her.
Did I hear her right? She was willing to take over for me? She wanted to run my store for me when I left?
Bella, I think you're dreaming.
And oh, hell, that explained so much. The Tanya and Edward thing on television, Emmett and Rosalie bickering like two damn children; a dream would explain all of it.
"But you're… Albany," I stumbled, still staring at her like a dumb struck moron when I realized that no matter how many times I blinked at her, she was still waiting for me to say something. So much for my dream theory. "That's so… far."
"Do you know what I do all day, Bella?" she asked, leaning forward and resting her hands, palm down on the counter.
"No," I said honestly, quickly shaking my head.
"Neither do I."
I blinked at her again.
"Oh."
"I input numbers into the computer for some company I've never heard of all damn day for reasons I don't know and I'm very tired of it," she sighed, bending down to rest her elbows on the counter and cradle her cheek in her hand. "I had a blast working here those two days and if you're willing to train me properly, I will be happy to take this off your hands."
"But you're still in Albany."
"An hour's drive is nothing." She stood up straight and waved her hand at me. "I wouldn't mind it in the least."
"But the winter weather…"
"I may not live here, but I do have friends that live here. Worse comes to worse, I can stay with them for a night or two. Bella," she started, rounding the counter and bending down in front of me to grab my face in her hands, "I want to do this for you… if you want me to, that is. I will find a way to work everything out as long as you go with your boy and be happy."
I let out a choked laugh before launching myself into her arms and hugging her tightly, burying my nose into her shoulder and closing my eyes tightly.
"We're really gonna miss you, Bella," she whispered into my ear, smoothing down my hair. "Make some time for us before you leave, okay?"
"Of course," I said quickly, nodding and backing away from her to wipe away the moisture that had gathered underneath my eyes. "Always, Sue."
"Why don't you go take a break or something? Get out and get something to eat?" she suggested, her hands on the sides of my head as she smirked at me. "There are two vans outside but for the most part, it seems like they're the same guys that have been here all along."
"There were six vans this morning," I laughed, shaking my head and taking a deep breath. "I called them morons."
She laughed and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
"Good for you. Now go on; get out of here for a while. I'll watch after everything."
I hugged her tightly again before dashing up the stairs and grabbing my purse and coat. I waved a hasty goodbye to her as I threw my coat on around my shoulders and ran down the path, completely ignoring the two guys still standing out there as they snapped my picture before I jumped into my truck and backed out.
I had a phone call to make, damn it, and nothing was going to get in my way.
I made it back home in record time, barely slamming my truck into park before I was jumping out of it and leaping up the porch stairs. I barged in through the door to find Emmett sitting on the couch with a sandwich halfway to his mouth, looking away from the blaring television to raise an eyebrow at me.
"You're home early."
"Break!" I yelled out behind me as I dropped my purse on the ground, slammed the door shut and skid into the dining room to grab the phone.
"Edward called. Bella, he's—"
"I'm on it!" I exclaimed, grabbing the phone and hastily dialing in his cell phone number.
I paced around the dining room, impatiently playing with the zipper on my coat as I waited for him to pick up the phone. I stopped and stepped into the living room again, raising an eyebrow at Emmett.
"Why aren't you packing?" I demanded.
He sighed wearily, shaking his head as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth.
"You… talk to him," he grumbled around it.
I rolled my eyes and resumed my pacing in the dining room, running my free hand through my hair.
"Emmett, I already told you," he started as he finally answered the phone.
"Edward!" I all but screeched, coming to a halt and smiling like an ass as I heard his voice.
Christ, how I'd missed his voice.
"Bella?"
"Yes, Edward and listen…"
"Bella, you have to let me explain."
"No, Edward, you don't…"
"I fell asleep!" he exclaimed and I heard the panic in his voice. "Nothing happened! We were talking and I just fell asleep and I wasn't thinking about anything that I did while I was doing it and I didn't mean anything by it!"
I bit my bottom lip, still smiling like an idiot as I stared at the base of the stairs and did a stupid little twirl in the middle of the dining room.
I was right.
"It's okay."
"I saw those pictures of you from this morning and I just… Bella, I would never do that to you and I know you're mad and it's—"
I stood up straight as I heard a detached voice on his end of the phone announcing something that sounded suspiciously like a flight.
"Where are you?" I demanded, squaring my shoulders.
"I'm coming home and I'm gonna make this right with us. I told Jeannie…"
My heart sank.
Oh, no. No, he can't do this. He didn't do that.
"You what?" I screeched.
"I told Jeannie this morning that I quit. Bella, I'm on my way home and we're gonna work this out. We're gonna be fine."
"Edward Cullen, turn your ass around, get in a cab and go back to her office to tell her that you were not serious."
"But Bella…"
"I mean it! I told you that you weren't quitting and damn it, I meant that. You are not giving that up."
"I'm not losing you!"
"What the hell made you think that you lost me? Jesus Christ, Edward," I groaned, smacking my hand over my face and shaking my head.
Stupid, god damned, overdramatic jackass jumping to conclusions and running to the airport for no good fucking reason…
"You said bye," he all but whispered, his voice nothing but sheer heart break and I felt my stomach clench upon hearing it.
Even though he'd confused me pretty damn thoroughly with that statement.
"What?"
"You said that you'd call me back later and then you said bye."
I swallowed hard, my heart beating painfully against my ribs as I placed a hand on my chest and shook my head slowly.
I hadn't even realized it. I didn't even know that I'd said that to him. We never said that; it was our unspoken rule and with all the craziness that was going on in the store yesterday, I'd slipped. And now I could completely understand that hopelessness I was hearing in his voice.
"Edward, I didn't…"
"And I know you're mad and upset! I get that," he said and I flinched when I heard his voice crack. "But it wasn't anything like what they're saying, Bella. Please, you have to believe me."
I swallowed hard again and closed my eyes tightly, licking my lips.
"I was doing too much at once and I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't even see any of this until this morning."
"You're not mad?"
"Not anymore."
"But you were," he accused.
I tapped my toes against the floor and licked my lips, shaking my head and wondering what in the hell had been wrong with me when I decided that I wanted a relationship again.
Honestly, he expected me to trust him and I did. I'd been paranoid and hurt and pissed off, but I'd finally come to the right conclusion. So shouldn't he trust me not to freak out over something that he'd warned me of all that time ago? Shouldn't he have more faith in me than that?
"Bella? Are you there?"
"I was upset," I corrected softly, "but then I realized that you loved me and you'd never do anything like this to me."
He was quiet and I could hear another garbled flight announcement being made as I opened my eyes.
"I don't deserve you," he finally said.
I twisted my lips to the side and raised an eyebrow at the last step on the staircase, trying in vain to bite my tongue and not make this crazy situation any worse than it already appeared to be.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am a little annoyed that you didn't trust in me enough."
He was quiet again and I began pacing once more, running my free hand through my hair and listening to Emmett scoff at whatever the hell he was watching on television.
"We knew this wasn't going to be easy for either of us and if this is really going to work, you need to trust that I'm not going to jump to conclusions about everything that the paparazzi catch you doing."
"I'm just… you didn't call… and then you didn't call back…"
"Edward, I love you," I said quietly as I finally stopped pacing and sat down at the dining room table. "And you really need to get that through your thick head."
"I know you do, but I'm just… I keep thinking that I'll wake up and you'll be gone."
"I told you that I'd stalk your ass and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"Is it?"
I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, dropping my hand to trace the wood grain patterns of the table top.
"It will be."
"I miss you."
I smiled a little, watching my fingertip as it rounded a circle and bit my bottom lip.
"I miss you too. Now get out of that airport and go tell Jeannie that you were kidding. And then call me so that I know she didn't kill you."
He laughed, but it was clearly forced.
"Edward."
"I hurt you. I saw it in those pictures."
"I'm fine."
"And I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," I demanded.
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"I know."
"Please just let me come home," he begged.
"Edward, you are home," I sighed, shaking my head.
"No, home is where you are and if you're in New York, then that's where I need to be, too."
"Well, I'm not gonna be here for long, you know."
"But you're there now and I want to see you so that I can make this right."
"Edward, you have a job… how many things are you missing right this minute?"
"None; I don't have a job, actually. I quit, remember?"
"So help me, Edward, if you don't call her or go see her to tell her that you weren't being serious, I really never will come back."
"Don't you understand that you're more important to me than what I do for a living? I could be a hobo living on the street, but as long as I had you in our cardboard box for the night, I wouldn't care!"
"We'll be living in a cardboard box?" I asked, pressing my lips together to hold in laughter.
Nothing about this conversation was really all that funny, but honestly, the thought of Edward Cullen sleeping on the streets in a cardboard box was just pretty fucking hysterical.
"Or on a park bench."
I barked out a laugh, relieved when I heard him laughing with me.
"We're fine," I said quietly when we had both stopped laughing. "And we're still gonna be fine when I come back to California next week."
"Bella…"
"Go talk to Jeannie, please. You've got too much on your plate to deal with and you would feel really bad if you gave the poor woman a heart attack."
"Fine," he sighed heavily. "I'll call her."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," he grumbled.
I smiled and shook my head, running my free hand through my hair again.
"I'll call you when I get home from work, all right?"
"Yeah."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Okay," I smiled softly, dropping my hand into my lap.
"Okay."
I waited until I heard the tell-tale click on the other end of the line before hanging up the phone and standing up. I set it back in its cradle before walking into the living room to find Emmett sprawled out on the couch in much the same fashion that he'd been when I ran in.
"You two good?" he asked, barely flicking his eyes away from the television.
"We're good."
He nodded once and I rolled my eyes, quickly walking by the television and reaching down to grab my purse again.
"Pack, Emmett, please," I said as I put my hand on the door. "I want everything ready to go before the end of next week."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll do it."
I rolled my eyes again, sighing heavily and wondering where the hell the guy who had given me advice this morning had disappeared to. I think I liked him more than the blob of man sitting on the couch at this point.
~*~
Five hours later, I pulled into the driveway once again, exhausted and more than ready for the day off Sue had insisted I take tomorrow.
I'd run down the basics with her when I got back and she'd all but demanded that I leave her alone so that she could figure it all out as quickly as possible. I'd watched over her shoulder as she filled out request forms, rang out customers, even handled a completely pointless interview, handled shipment statements with ease and wanted to kiss her when it seemed that she'd done a better job than I had.
She was making my life entirely too easy and I loved her for it.
When the store had closed, I'd walked her through the closing procedure while she'd wordlessly packed up a few of my things from my desk and handed them to me in a box, grinning wildly.
And while I was ecstatic that I had finally found someone that I could trust enough to run the bookstore, it was still a little bittersweet. I'd poured my heart and soul into this place for quite a long time and it almost felt like I was losing a best friend.
But I was gaining the love of my life and really didn't have it in me to complain too much about it.
Grabbing the box from the passenger seat of my truck, I sighed and pushed open the truck door before sliding down from it and kicking it shut with my foot.
I hoped to hell that Emmett had packed some of the shit in the kitchen like I'd wanted him to because I really didn't have the energy to do much else. Yes, the workload for the day had been lessened significantly with Sue helping me, but there were also a hundred other things that I needed to do.
Like selling my house and figuring out what I was going to do with my truck, for instance.
Walking up the porch steps, I shook my head and awkwardly managed to grab the door knob, twisting it and kicking that open as well. I dropped the box to the floor, looking around the empty living room and listening closely.
There was rustling coming from upstairs and I reached up to rub the heels of my hands into my eyes, taking a deep breath as I kicked the door shut.
What in the fuck was he doing upstairs in what was probably the bedroom? I'd specifically told him that he didn't need to touch anything in there; I'd take care of it.
There were just certain things that Emmett did not need to see – like my underwear, for example.
"Emmett!" I groaned out, pulling my arms from my coat and draping it over the rocking chair next to me. "What are you doing up there?"
Silence.
"Seriously! The kitchen, Emmett, that was all I asked you to do!"
I finally heard him making his way out of the bedroom and shook my head before walking through the living room and into the kitchen to start something that resembled dinner for the both of us.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs and yanked open the door to the nearly-bare refrigerator, pursing my lips and staring in at the bottled water that never really seemed to go away and a few leftover Chinese take-out cases from the night before.
"Leftovers good with you?"
I didn't wait for an answer before grabbing two of the cartons and standing up. I heard his footsteps in the dining room, moving closer and turned around, staring at the doorway to wait for him to show up and give me the smart ass comment I'm sure was coming.
He'd been quiet for entirely too long.
My mouth dropped open and the cartons fell from my hands when I saw Edward appear in the doorway, his shoulders hunched, his hands in his pockets and a nervous smile gracing his lips.
"Uh," I squeaked, blinking rapidly at him.
Now I knew I was dreaming. I'd just talked to him five hours ago and I was pretty sure that he would've mentioned something like getting ready to show up here.
"I was already in Albany when you called," he explained quietly.
Then again, maybe not.
"You…"
"I needed to see you. Waiting wasn't an option anymore."
"You just…"
"I called Jeannie," he offered quietly, ducking his head down a bit and shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "She said that I couldn't come back without you."
I blinked at him.
"I've been so preoccupied with thoughts of actually losing you that I fucked up an entire photo shoot. Just sat there and stared at the camera." He offered me a small, unrealistic smirk and shrugged one shoulder. "The photographer said it was the most depressing shoot he'd done in his entire career."
"You…"
"She said that I could only get my job back if you were with me when I showed up in California again. Until then, she's rearranging everything I have to do."
"Edward, you can't just…"
"I was sure that I'd lost you," he said softly, looking down at his feet. "That I'd fucked everything up and you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. It was the absolute worst feeling in the world."
He looked up at me again and I sucked in a sharp breath, pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth.
He looked so lost and defeated and I'd never seen him this way. He wasn't ever supposed to look that way; I wasn’t supposed to be the one to make him look like that.
"Tanya's the only person I can consider a real friend out there," he continued quietly, looking back down at the floor. "And we just act that way with each other. It doesn't mean anything; it's just the way we are. I didn't think about it the way that I should've and I'm sorry, Bella."
"Where's Emmett?" I asked quietly.
He hunched his shoulders a little more, almost as if he wanted to curl into himself and disappear. My throat tightened at the movement.
Sure, the first full sentence I'd managed since I'd seen him and it was about his brother. Great idea, Bella.
"Rosalie showed up and I made them both get out for a while."
"You do know that they're probably going to kill each other, right?"
"Not something I'm overly concerned with right now," he answered softly, still staring down at the floor. "Bella, please tell me if there's a way to fix this."
"There's nothing to fix."
He visibly flinched and I shook my head at the both of us.
First of all, this distance between us was absolute madness. I shouldn't be standing on one end of the room with him on the other; no. It didn't work that way. We didn't work that way.
Second of all, hadn't I already told him that we were fine? That phone call did really happen, didn't it?
Christ, I wish I knew if I was dreaming or not because this entire damn day had just been one big mind-fuck and I was really fucking tired of it.
Stepping over the spilled fried rice and dumplings, I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest. I kept my grip around his waist until I finally felt his arms around me loosely, as if he was afraid to touch me.
I turned my head, gently pressing a kiss over his heart through his shirt as I started to drag my fingernails up and down his back.
"We've already been over all of this, Edward," I said softly, resting my chin on his chest and looking up at him.
"I wanted to say it to you, not a phone." His hands were shaking as he put them on my cheeks. "I've never felt this way for anyone before, Bella, and the thought of losing you…"
He closed his eyes and bent down to rest his forehead against mine. I continued to drag my fingernails up and down his back, staring at his closed eyes and waiting for them to open again.
"It's put everything in perspective, I guess. Acting isn't important if you're not going to be there with me."
"But I am," I whispered, stepping up on my toes and gently brushing the end of my nose against his. "Trust in me, Edward, please."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop it."
"Bella…"
"Look at me," I whispered, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked down into mine.
"We're going to make mistakes and we're going to screw up because we're human and it's what we do. But it won't be the end of the world and it won't be the end of us. You're too important to me and I'm not going to lose you."
"I can't screw this up," he whispered, shaking his head.
"I won't let you."
He started brushing his thumbs over my cheeks and underneath my eyes, his breathing ragged as he threaded his fingers back into my hair.
"I'm just… I'm so scared that I'll do something that will have you running the other way without a second glance and I can't handle that, Bella."
"If I can stick with you through your cooking," I started, thankful when I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up a little, "then I'll stay through anything."
"Do you forgive me, Bella?"
"Oh for Christ's sakes, Edward, there's nothing to forgive," I laughed, shaking my head. "You hung out with a friend and yeah, okay, it looked bad at first and everything else just kind of snowballed from there, but it's okay."
I moved my hands from his shirt, placing one over his heart and the other on his neck.
"Human, remember?"
He moved his hands from my face, quickly wrapped them around my waist and finally held me as tightly as he always should before his lips found mine, urgent and hungry. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands sliding into his hair as I stepped forward and pressed myself against him completely.
Eventually, the urgency faded and he placed a few soft kisses against my top lip, his arms still tight around me as he pulled away from me.
"I love you," he whispered, leaning up and gently kissing my forehead.
I untangled my hands from his hair and stepped up on my toes to hug him tightly, burying my nose into his neck and smiling.
"I love you too."
"Guess we've got a lot to talk about, huh?"
I nodded, placing a soft kiss against his neck before stepping down and looking up at him.
"Yeah, like why the hell you didn't tell me that you were in Albany when I called and why in the fuck did you ask me to come home when you were already on your way?"
He laughed nervously and shrugged, twisting his lips to the side.
"I wanted you to say that you were okay with it," he mumbled, shrugging again. "I wanted to know that you still… wanted me."
"We do have a lot to talk about," I whispered, reaching around to place my hand on his cheek.
He nodded, turning his head and placing his lips against my palm.
"I want to spend a lot of time here, Bella," he said softly, his hands absently tangling in the ends of my hair as he turned to look down at me again. "It's still your home and you do still have a life here. I don't want to take everything away from you."
"You're not taking everything away from me."
"I'm taking enough."
I sighed heavily and tilted my head at him, gently running my thumb down the bridge of his nose.
"It was partly my decision, too."
"Would you have left here if I wasn't in your life?"
"Would I have had a life if I didn't have you?"
"It'd be quieter."
"It'd be boring."
"I love it here, too," he whispered.
I sighed again and swallowed the points we'd end up going over at some point during the night and let him have this… for now.
"Then I guess we'd better figure out a way to make that happen, huh?"
He nodded and leaned down to kiss me again before grabbing one of my hands and leading me out of the kitchen. He grabbed the phone from its charger and started up the stairs with me trailing behind him.
"Wait!" I exclaimed, tugging on his hand.
"What?"
"I dropped food."
I let go of his hand and ran back down the stairs, hearing his footsteps behind me and screeching when he caught me around the waist to lift me from the floor.
"Go upstairs," he whispered into my ear, placing a kiss against my neck. "I'll clean it up."
He handed me the phone and let me go, walking around me and grabbing the broom and dustpan from the corner next to the refrigerator. I bit my bottom lip and smiled softly, wrapping my arms around myself before turning on my heel and starting back up the stairs.
He came for me. I'd never had anyone chase after me before.
No one had loved me as much as he did.
Yeah, we had a lot to talk about and a lot of decisions to make concerning our future, but that's just it; it was our future.
And it felt fan-fucking-tastic to know it.
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