Sunday, August 2, 2009

Twenty Seven

*Edward*

*Chapter Song - Never Say Never*

I jumped awake when the alarm went off the next morning and groaned, reaching over and slapping at it.

We'd spent most of the afternoon in the living room on the blanket, reassuring each other, being ourselves and enjoying each other.

Thoroughly.

But reality hit us at around eight and I realized that I had to pack. I didn't have much but it didn't mean that I would be able to get everything packed right before I left without forgetting a mass amount of things.

She insisted that we leave the blanket, lights and candles right where they were. I didn't quite understand, but didn't argue with her about it as I pulled my pajama pants back on and waited for her to throw the shirt back on.

We spent the rest of the night combing through the house and packing everything into the two suitcases I'd arrived with three weeks ago. Everything that could be packed was sitting downstairs by the front door, leaning against the wall and taunting me each time I walked by.

That was when I decided it was time to go to bed. And then I spent the rest of the night memorizing Bella's every curve, freckle, noise and facial expression.

I shifted slightly as images from the last day tore through my foggy brain, causing a reaction I was pretty sure Bella wouldn't want to help me with first thing in the morning. Especially this morning when we were both completely aware of what the blaring alarm clock meant.

Bella groaned into my chest before she flung herself on top of me and buried her face in my neck, grumbling something that I didn't understand at all.

That didn't help my situation any, either.

I laughed groggily, wrapping my arms around her once the alarm was off and sighing quietly.

"No," she mumbled, her arms snaking underneath me and wrapping around my back.

"I know," I whispered, splaying my hands out on her bare back and turning my head to bury it in her hair.

"We can go to Tahiti," she suggested against my neck. "No one will find us there."

I laughed, trailing my hands up and down her spine.

"Sounds good to me."

"Good. I'll call the airport and switch your ticket."

"'Kay," I mumbled, laughing quietly.

"What time is it?"

I looked over at the clock before burying my face back into her hair and tightening my arms around her.

"Seven fifteen."

My eyes closed when I felt her lips pressing against my neck, one of her hands moving from underneath me to run lightly up and down my right side. I shivered a little, feeling myself growing impossibly harder at every movement of her hand.

Maybe she was willing to help me out after all.

"Bella," I whispered, swallowing hard and fisting one of my hands into the ends of her hair.

She kissed down to my chest, her hand running down and resting on my hip. I moaned softly as she trailed her fingertips over me and moved my hand from her hair to move them up and brush over her breasts.

She moved up, her body brushing against mine before her lips were on my ear.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

She kissed the edge of my jaw before slowly sinking down onto me. We both moaned, my hands moving down to her hips and my fingertips digging in as my breathing started to pick up. She placed her hands on my forearms, steadying herself before she started to move.

I would never get tired of this feeling. I would never forget what it felt like to be inside of her and be connected with her in a way that I'd never been with anyone else before.

I lifted my hips up to meet hers, throwing my head back into the pillow and breathing out another moan.

"Edward," she moaned, her fingernails digging into my arms as she rocked her hips against mine.

I opened my eyes, looking up to find that her eyes were closed and her mouth was partially open. The light shining in through the windows bounced off of her skin, illuminating every little part of her.

I moved my hands from her hips to quickly grab hers and link our fingers together. She squeezed my hands tightly, her head lazily tipping forward and her hair falling in front of her.

"Mine," she moaned as she began to move faster above me. "You're mine."

Her words shot straight through me and I moaned, digging my heels into the mattress and thrusting up into her.

"Yes. Always."

She circled her hips above mine and I breathed out something between a moan, a gasp and some kind of weird choking noise as my hands tightened around hers.

"Bella," I groaned, my hips still working as she continued to swirl hers above me. "Oh, fuck, Bella."

She threw her head back, her hips matching mine again as she flexed her fingers against my hand.

"You're mine," she breathed out on a moan.

I made some sort of noise in agreement, lost in the sensation of her tightening around me.

"Yours," I grunted, my mouth falling open as she started grinding faster against me. "I'm yours."

She raised our hands up a little higher, her head falling forward again as I felt her shaking.

"Edward," she breathed, her fingers shooting straight out before gripping back onto mine tightly. "So…"

"Yes," I whispered, throwing my head back into the pillow. "Come on, Bella."

She cried out and I felt her burst around me. I kept thrusting into her, following soon after her and quickly untangling our hands and wrapping her in my arms as she fell forward. She kept her head on my chest, lazily pressing small kisses there as our chests worked against each other in an attempt to breathe normally again.

"Tahiti?" she finally breathed out.

"Tahiti," I agreed softly, rubbing my hands over her back and turning my head to kiss her cheek.

"Didn't mean to attack you."

I laughed breathlessly, shaking my head as I slowly slid out of her and turned us on our sides.

"Never apologize for that, love," I whispered as I reached up with one hand to push hair from her face.

She looked up at me, her lips twisted to the side and I watched as tears started to fill her eyes.

Oh, no; not now. If she fell apart now, there's no fucking way I'd be able to get on that plane in a few hours. I was going to have a hell of a time as it was but this was just going to make it ten times worse.

"Hey," I whispered, cupping her cheek in my palm and rubbing my thumb underneath her eye. "February will be here before we know it."

She nodded, pressing her lips together and looking down at my chest.

"I know," she said quietly, still nodding and reaching up to trace patterns on my chest with her fingertip. "I'm just gonna miss you."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her forehead, leaving them there as I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

"I'll call you at least six times a day," I began, smiling softly as she managed a laugh, "and I'll tell you all about how boring my day has been whether you want to hear it or not. It'll be like I never left."

"And I can let you know how the house is."

"I definitely want to know how the house is." I laughed a little, pulling back from her and dragging my hand back to her hair as I opened my eyes. "You're sure you want to stay here?"

She nodded, her eyes still shining with tears but her face clear of them.

"More than sure. I'll start moving things in tonight."

"Are you gonna ask someone to help you?"

She shook her head, looking up at me and biting her bottom lip.

"It'll give me time to work through… everything."

"Bella," I whispered, a sharp shooting pain making its way through my body.

I knew that it was going to be hard for her – hell, it was going to be hard for me, too – but I didn't want her to have to work through anything. I just wanted her to be okay and to know that everything was going to be fine. We were going to be fine and this separation would only make us stronger in the long run.

We'd make it through this. I love her too damn much not to believe that.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, shaking her head and rolling onto her back. "Give me a minute."

I hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her back to me, holding her tightly and looking down at her face. A tear had slipped out and she quickly reached up to wipe it away, her eyes focused intently on the ceiling.

"I'm okay," she stated, sucking a deep breath and finally connecting her eyes with mine.

"Are you?"

She nodded, reaching up with one hand to run it through my hair and pull my head down to hers. She kissed me softly, her lips barely grazing mine as she rolled back onto her side and pressed her chest against mine again.

"So how are we doing this?" she asked, slowly pulling away from me. "Am I riding with you or driving myself?"

"How will you get home if you ride with me?"

I didn't want to let go of her for longer than I had to today. I wanted to be selfish and tell her to take a cab home; I didn't care that it was an hour away from here and the cab fare would be outrageous. I wanted as much time with her today as possible.

"I'll call Angela or Rose. Or, it's closer to my dad than either of them are so maybe I'll call him," she mused quietly, drawing her hand through my hair and letting it rest on the back of my neck.

"Wouldn't it be easier to drive?" I asked softly, swallowing the bit of panic I felt at being apart from her before I absolutely had to be today.

"Probably," she agreed, nodding. "But I'm not giving up any more time with you than I have to."

I breathed out a laugh and leaned down to kiss her again, running one hand up and down her back.

"I love you," I whispered between kisses, keeping her tight against me. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you too."

I broke away from her and buried my face into her shoulder, wrapping my arms tightly around her and for a minute, I was able to pretend that it was last Monday and we had an entire week left to be together. For a minute, we had another week to do anything and everything we wanted without any interruptions from anyone.

"We should get in the shower," she whispered into my ear, one of her fingertips making small patterns on the back of my shoulder as she broke me out of my thoughts. "You've still got some things that you need to pack."

I heard her voice shake and took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly and pressing a kiss against her neck.

I don't wanna leave you. Wait for me. Don't listen to anything anyone else has to say. Believe in me like I now believe in you. Come with me.

"Yeah," I whispered back, nodding and kissing her neck again.

She kissed my ear before slowly rolling away from me and crawling out of the bed. I watched her as she stretched, her arms above her head and the muscles in her back twisting and rippling as she reached to the ceiling.

I scrambled to her side of the bed, grabbing her hips to keep her in place as I leaned forward to kiss the small of her back. Her hands dropped onto mine as I swung my legs off the side of the bed.

"You're beautiful, Bella," I whispered, dragging my lips up her spine.

She shivered, her fingers linking with mine as I stood up and pressed kisses against her shoulders. I wrapped our arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder and holding her tightly against me.

"How long is the flight?" she asked softly, her voice wavering.

I closed my eyes tightly and tilted my head to press another kiss against her shoulder.

"Seven hours. I have to catch a connecting flight in Chicago before I get to Seattle." I placed my chin back on her shoulder, slowly opening my eyes again. "I'll call you when I touch down in Chicago."

She nodded and I distinctly heard her sniffle before she squeezed my hands.

"And when you get to Seattle."

"And when I get to my parents' house."

"And before you go to sleep."

"And when I wake up."

She nodded and I watched out of the corner of my eye as a tear trailed down her cheek and she quickly pinched her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"We should shower," she managed, nodding again. "Lots to do today."

"You'll see that it won't be that bad, Bella," I whispered, swallowing hard and praying that I was right. "We're gonna talk all the time and then February will be here and we'll be wondering where all the time went."

She continued to nod and I squeezed my arms as tightly around her as I dared, holding her against me and burying my face into her neck.

"What do you guys do for Christmas? Any big parties?"

I pulled my eyebrows together, looking up slightly and staring over at the closet doors in front of us.

"What?"

"Distract me," she almost begged, her fingernails digging into the palms of my hands. "Just for a little while; please?"

I took a deep breath and nodded slightly, turning us in the direction of the bedroom door and slowly starting to walk with her towards the bathroom.

"We don't usually have any sort of Christmas parties, no," I said quietly. "New Year's Eve is when my parents and Alice pull out all the stops and invite what feels like thousands of people to our house."

"That sounds really nice, though."

"What about you?" I asked as we made it into the bathroom and walked over to the bathtub. "Does your family do anything for Christmas?"

"Just dinner at my dad's with what's left of our family and my step-mother's family. There aren't too many people that come over, but there's enough."

She bent down and quickly flicked on the hot water before standing back up again, both of us staring down at the running water as if it might bite us upon contact.

One step closer.

"What are you doing for New Year's Eve?" I asked, swallowing hard and imagining all the possibilities.

"Probably going out with Rose, Angela and Ben to some bar in Saratoga." She shook her head slightly. "I'm not really looking forward to that."

"You'll probably have fun."

"Not without you," she whispered before bending down once again and pulling up on the lever to start the shower.

My heart cracked just that much more at knowing that I wouldn't be there with her to kiss her when the ball dropped or watch as she had too much to drink and got completely shit-faced before passing out on me at the end of the night.

She pulled on my hands as she stepped into the shower and I crawled in after her, finally letting go of her hands to pull the curtain closed.

"Make me a promise," I said quickly, watching as the water cascaded down her body.

"What's that?"

"Be as normal as you possibly can be when I'm gone? Go out with Angela and Rosalie and have fun, Bella. Don't think about me when you're out; go out to be with your friends and forget about everything else."

"I'm always going to think of you," she said, tilting her head back to finish getting the rest of her hair wet. "You can't ask me not to think of you."

"Well, no," I grumbled, shaking my head and trying to reword everything. That hadn't come out right. "I want you to think of me, but not to the point where you can't have fun."

I nodded, proud of myself for finally getting something out right. It had taken me damn near three weeks to do it, but I'd finally accomplished being able to string a sentence together without tripping over my own tongue.

"And I want you to do the same." She reached for her shampoo, one eyebrow raised as she poured it into her palm. "If I can't be miserable, then you can't be either."

"Fine," I sighed, nodding and moving under the spray of the shower head as she scrubbed the shampoo into her hair.

"Fine," she agreed, smiling slightly at me as she continued to work the shampoo in.

We finished the rest of the shower talking aimlessly about plans for Christmas and New Year's Eve before getting out, drying off and falling into an easy rhythm of brushing our teeth and getting ready for the day.

There weren't really any words I could think of to describe just how much I was going to miss all of this; waking up with her, showering with her, and just being this comfortable with her.

I grabbed all of my toiletries once we were finished, cradling them in my arms and clenching my jaw together when I saw Bella bite down on her shaking bottom lip before she looked away from me and hastily tied her hair up into a ponytail. I kissed the back of her neck once her hair was out of the way before walking into the bedroom and dropping everything on the bed.

I threw the towel I had wrapped around my waist into the laundry basket before walking over to the wardrobe and grabbing the only pair of boxers, jeans and shirt left in there. Bella walked in as I was pulling my jeans over my hips, still wrapped in a towel and I looked over at her as she bent down to grab the t-shirt she'd been wearing to bed.

"Do you want this back?" she asked softly, looking up at me quickly before looking at the pile of stuff on the bed.

"That's yours, Bella." I snatched up my pajama pants from the floor and threw them into the laundry basket as well. "I don't mean to leave them there…"

"I'll take care of them," she said quickly, offering me a shaky smile before she walked over to the duffel bag she still had her clothes in.

"You're going to unpack that eventually, aren't you?"

She looked over at me, clutching a green t-shirt and a pair of jeans to her chest as she stood up and nodded.

"Something else for me to do tonight."

I ran a hand through my wet hair before I walked over to her and grabbed her in my arms.

Somewhere between leaving the bathroom and walking into the bedroom, it had become awkward between us. Tense. And I didn't like it one damn bit.

This was not how we were going to spend our last few hours together. I wasn't going to walk around on eggshells with her and I wasn't going to let her do the same with me. We'd jumped that hurdle as soon as she spent the first night with me and if I could help it, we weren't going back to that stage of the relationship. We were fine where we were and nothing – not even my leaving – was going to change that.

She dropped her clothes to the floor, quickly wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into my chest. I ran one hand down her hair, my fingers easily sliding through the wet strands as I listened to her heavy breathing.

"I know we're going to be fine," she started, and her voice was strained, "but I…"

"I know," I whispered, dropping my chin lightly onto the top of her head and sucking in a deep breath.

If she said what I thought she was going to, I wouldn't have been able to deny it. I wouldn't have been able to leave if she'd said that she didn't want me to.

We stood there for a few more minutes before she backed away from me, stood up on her toes and kissed me softly.

"We need to get going."

I nodded, kissing her once more before turning and grabbing my t-shirt from its spot on the side of the bed. I pulled it over my head, straightening it out quickly before I grabbed all the crap on the end of the bed and started towards the bedroom door.

I turned once I reached it, finding that Bella had picked up her own clothing from the floor but was just standing there, one of her hands plucking at her bottom lip as she stared absently at the door.

"Bella."

Her eyes snapped to mine and I swallowed hard at the tears swimming in them again. She waved me off, offering me a shaky laugh before she set her clothes on the bed and started to get dressed.

"Bella?" I asked softly, tightening my hold on the bottle of toothpaste resting in the crook of my arm before it could fall.

She looked up at me again, her bottom lip caught in between her teeth as she held up a pink satin bra that I vaguely remember seeing on her at some point.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, nodding once and offering me a small smile before she shed the towel and turned her back to me.

I sighed quietly and walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the living room. I dropped the pile of crap onto the floor and angrily stared at one of my suitcases before I grabbed it and ripped it open.

Had to be an actor. Had to go to California and try my hand at acting. Couldn't just be a doctor that would keep me in one place; no. I had to be something better.

I threw my things into the half-full suitcase before hastily zipping it back up and kicking it once for good measure.

And then I sighed, reaching up and tangling my hands in my hair. I dropped my head back and stared up at the ceiling, slowly shaking my head.

If I hadn't been an actor, I never would've come to Lake George. And if I'd never come to Lake George, I never would've bought this house. And if I'd never bought this house, I never would've met Bella. And if I'd never met Bella, I never would've known what it was like to finally be in love.

I slowly dragged my hands down my face before I tipped my head back up and grabbed the keys to the Volvo. I snatched my jacket from the rocking chair and slipped it over my shoulders as I unlocked the door and yanked it open. Grabbing the handles of the suitcases once I'd looped my laptop case over my head, I rolled them behind me as I walked onto the porch and down the stairs. Popping the trunk, I threw everything into it before slamming it shut, crawling into the front seat to stick the key in the ignition so it would be warm when we got into it and walking back to the house.

Bella was just coming down the stairs as I closed the door and when she looked over at me, all traces of tears were gone. She wasn't as happy as she normally would've been, but she looked better. And while I still felt like shit, it made it a little easier to see that she wasn't crying anymore.

I hated when she cried. I hated it more when she cried because of me.

"Did you want something quick to eat?" she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"What'd you have in mind?"

I shed my coat, throwing it back on the rocking chair and following her into the kitchen. She was holding up the package of Jimmy Dean sandwiches and I laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, that works."

She nodded and closed the freezer door, walking over to the counter and setting the box down. I walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder as she grabbed a paper towel and unwrapped the frozen thing.

"You promise to call me?"

"I promise."

She nodded again and I walked with her as she moved to the microwave and stuck the wrapped sandwich into it. She turned in my arms, looking up at me and tilting her head to the side.

"Sorry for being all emotional."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and pulling her tight against me again.

"Don't be. It's hard for me, too."

"I don't want to make it harder for you."

"Love, no matter what way you look at it, it's gonna be hard. But we know that we'll get through this." I leaned down and rested my forehead against hers, waiting until her eyes locked with mine. "I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with you; we have to."

She smiled and nodded, brushing the end of her nose against mine and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I know we will. It's a lot to get used to, you know?" she asked softly, standing up on her toes to kiss me softly. "Feels like I just got you."

"And you'll always have me, Bella. For a little while, it's gonna be at a distance, but don't think that that'll change anything for us."

"For a little while?"

I smiled softly and nodded, kissing her again.

"I'm not living without you for very long."

"I don't…"

"We'll figure it out," I interrupted quietly, rubbing my thumbs over her back. "I love you, Bella, and I refuse to live without you."

"Refuse, huh?" she asked, drawing in a shaky breath.

I smiled softly and nodded, kissing her once more. "Abso-fucking-lutely refuse."

She laughed before stepping up and burying her nose in my neck. I held her tightly, running my hands over her back and closing my eyes. The microwave beeped at us a few seconds later, forcing us to shift our positions again as Bella grabbed the sandwich and threw it on the counter next to us. I moved with her again as she walked further into the kitchen to grab a plate from the cabinet, unwrapping the sandwich and plopping it onto the plate.

"Eat," she said softly, holding it up at her side.

"Aren't you going to eat something?"

"Later. I can't right now. My stomach is in knots," she laughed half-heartedly before walking out of my arms and quickly handing me the plate.

I watched as she cleaned up the small mess she'd made, a lump in my throat as I stared down at the sandwich.

It suddenly didn't have the appeal it had had a few minutes before. Not that the appeal had been all that great to begin with, but it was even worse now.

I looked up at her and she raised an expectant eyebrow at me as she put the box back into the freezer.

"You'll get sick if you don't eat."

"Bella…"

She sighed heavily and walked over to me, snatching the sandwich off the plate and hastily biting in to it. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped before she practically threw the sandwich back onto the plate and began panting.

"Hot!" she managed, bringing one hand up to fan her mouth.

I laughed loudly, holding the plate up high enough that the sandwich wouldn't fall off as I practically doubled over.

"Not funny!" she managed, smacking my shoulder before closing her mouth and slowly starting to chew.

"Really funny," I choked out, dodging her hand as she tried to hit me again.

"You're supposed to," she swallowed and then panted some more, pressing a hand to her chest as she glared at me, "make sure I'm okay!"

"Are you okay?"

"No!"

I just laughed a little harder, forced to put the plate on the counter and lean against it to keep myself standing.

"You know, now I'm glad you're leaving," she grumbled, using one finger to wipe away imaginary cheese from her chin. "Laughing at me when I can't feel my tongue!"

That didn't help matters any and I slumped against the counter, landing on the floor when my arms gave out on me.

"Seriously fucking hurt," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring down at me.

I raised my arms up, holding them out to her and still laughing, completely unable to control it. Her face was priceless.

"Oh, no, I don't think so!" she exclaimed, pointing at me.

"Come here," I rasped, still laughing as she glared down at me. "Bella, come here."

"No! Now get off the floor."

"Bella," I laughed, leaning forward and sitting on my knees. "I'm sorry. Now come here."

"You're still laughing at me!"

"I'm sorry," I said, quickly pressing my lips together to hold in the laughter that was still begging to be let out.

"No you're not."

"Bella!" I exclaimed, lunging forward and grabbing onto her ankle as she started to walk out.

"Let go of my foot, Edward."

"No."

"Edward!" she shouted, looking down at me.

I looked up at her, licking my lips and laughing a little more when I saw that she was struggling to hold in her laughter as well.

"Bella!" I shouted back.

"Let go."

"Come down here."

"No."

"Please?"

"For what?"

Huffing, I sat up on my knees again and wrapped my arms around her waist, laughing as she screamed when I pulled her down with me and situated her comfortably on my lap.

"Okay, you've got me down here now. What do you want?"

I grinned at her twitching lips and kissed her roughly, pulling her tight against me and leaning back against the cabinets.

"I wanted to apologize the right way," I stated brightly when I pulled back from her.

"Hm," she mumbled, her eyes fluttering open.

"Am I forgiven?"

"'Spose so."

I laughed, kissing her again.

"How's your tongue?"

"Fine." She sighed heavily and pursed her lips at me. "That's not fair play, you know."

"But I love you."

"What does…? Edward, that doesn't even make sense!" she laughed, her arms winding around my neck and her hands tangling in my hair.

"Maybe not, but it's true."

She sighed again, shaking her head and smirking at me.

"Yeah, well, you're lucky that I love you, too." She leaned up and kissed my forehead. "Now let me up. You have to eat and we have to get going."

I sighed this time, kissing her once more before letting her stand up and doing the same. I watched as she walked around, checking everything that she possibly could and making sure that I had everything I needed to take with me.

I finished the sandwich, putting the plate in the dishwasher and walking into the dining room to stand next to her as she continued to look around the room. I wrapped an arm around her waist and looked down at her.

"You ready?" I asked softly.

She sucked in a deep breath, forced a smile on her face that had the ability to break my damn heart if she kept it up and then nodded.

"Yeah. Let's go."

We walked out, locking the door behind us and climbing into the car. I stared up at my house as I pulled the seat belt across my lap and swallowed hard.

Well, the house wouldn't be empty while I was gone. Bella would be living in it.

Without me.

I jumped a little when her hand slid into mine and looked over at her, saw the forced smile on her face and leaned over to kiss her again.

"You're sure you don't want to drive?" I asked as I sat back and placed our hands on the gear shift to put the car in reverse.

"I'm positive. I'll call my dad to come get me. It won't be a problem."

I nodded, taking a deep breath as I pulled out and shifted the car to drive, casting one more glance at the house before starting down the road.

This was going to be something close to hell.

We spent the majority of the ride in an awkwardly comfortable silence, our hands joined the entire time as we made our way to the airport. She started rambling to me at one point about having to deal with Leah for Christmas and I told her how insane Alice was with her decorations and making sure that absolutely everything was perfect for the relatives that wouldn't appreciate most of her hard work anyway.

And before I could even really comprehend it, I was parking the Volvo and we were walking into the rental office to hand in the keys once I had everything I needed out of the trunk.

That hour had disappeared, it seemed, and now we were officially out of time. My suitcases were checked in, my laptop was sitting at my feet, my flight was on time and the only thing left to do was pass through security.

It was already nine. We'd been standing here for about fifteen minutes, either staring at the security guard stationed behind the podium or staring at each other in a sad attempt to memorize every inch of the other.

Or maybe that was just me.

Regardless, she'd finally turned to me and grabbed my hands, her eyes already shining with tears as she looked at me again and demanded that I call her.

"As soon as you land," she stated, clutching onto my hands tightly.

I nodded, shaking my hands out of hers to wrap her in my arms and rest my cheek against the side of her head.

"You're gonna hear from me at least five times today alone, Bella," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut tightly and tangling one of my hands into the ends of her hair.

"As long as I hear from you."

Her voice was strained again and I had all I could do to back away and grab her face in my hands. I didn't want to let her go even for just a minute to make her look at me; I just did not want to let her go.

"All the damn time," I whispered, leaning down and resting my forehead against hers. "You have my cell phone number, right?"

She nodded, placing her hands on my wrists and shifting her watery eyes to mine as she bit her bottom lip.

"I have it."

"If you need me – and I don't give a shit what time it is – you'll call me."

She nodded again, her thumbs rubbing up and down against the undersides of my wrists.

"And you do the same," she managed, her bottom lip quivering as she blew out a breath. "I'll wake up and talk to you; I don't care."

I laughed, surprised to find that my own voice was slightly wavering and that my eyes were starting to tear.

Great. It was official. I was turning into a woman.

What self respecting man cried at an airport when saying goodbye? I had never been emotional when having to leave any place before and my tear ducts were choosing now to act up?

But with one look back into Bella's eyes, I didn't care. I love her and damn it, it fucking hurt to know that I had to leave without her. So I'd be a woman for a few damn hours because she was worth it.

"Okay," I managed, nodding.

"I love you," she whispered, moving her hands from my wrists to step forward and wrap her arms around my neck. "And I'm gonna miss you like crazy but I know," she swallowed hard and pressed a kiss against my neck, "that we're gonna be okay."

My arms wound tightly around her waist and I closed my eyes, burying my nose into her hair and taking a deep breath.

"Yes," I whispered, swallowing hard and nodding. "We're gonna be more than okay, Bella. This is just temporary, all right?"

She nodded, one of her hands cupping the back of my head and her fingers twisting in my hair.

"Yeah."

"So there's nothing to worry about," I choked out a laugh. "Because we're gonna be fine."

"We are," she whispered fiercely against my skin.

I nodded, letting my hands roam on her back and my eyes get as damn watery as they pleased.

"Kiss me and go," she whispered, sniffling. "Because if you don't go now, I'll never let you."

I squeezed my eyes even tighter together, not caring at all when I felt twin tears roll down my cheeks before I opened my eyes and backed away slightly. Her watery eyes met mine before I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, squeezing her tightly against me. Her hand tightened in my hair as she opened her mouth, her tongue gently touching on my bottom lip.

"Go," she whispered, pulling back from me and moving her hand from my hair.

I pulled her back against me, my lips on hers and my tongue eagerly meeting hers as I fisted my hands into the sides of her jacket. She wrapped her hands around my neck, responding to me quickly and insistently.

I pulled back slowly, pressing light kisses against her lips before completely moving from her. Reaching up, I placed my hands on her cheeks and wiped the tears away, chuckling a little as she did the same for me.

"You have to go," she whispered, nodding once at me.

"I know."

"I'll talk to you in a few hours."

I nodded, leaning down to kiss her again before I took a step back from her and reached down to grab my laptop case. I slung it over my shoulder and when I looked back to see her face, my heart fucking broke. She was biting down on her bottom lip, her eyes were shining with tears that were almost brimming over and her nostrils were flaring with every breath she took.

My eyes continued to water and I shook my head, reaching for her and grabbing her hand to pull her to me again.

"February," I whispered, pressing my lips to her forehead.

She nodded and I listened to her sniffle as she placed her free hand on my chest, directly over my heart.

"I love you," she said quietly, her voice high and shaking.

"I love you, too, Bella," I whispered, moving to kiss her once more.

I turned quickly on my heel once I stepped away from her, reaching up to dig the heels of my hands into my eyes as I made my way over to the security guard stationed behind the podium. I handed him my ticket, looking over my shoulder to see that Bella was still standing where I'd left her, her arms tightly wound around her waist and her bottom lip back between her teeth. She managed a shaky smile at me, waving. I waved back at her, managing my own shaky smile before turning around when the guard tapped my shoulder.

I took the ticket back from him, sucking in a deep breath and thanking him before I walked away.

I didn't look back. I was scared that if I did and if Bella was still standing there like a piece of her had just been ripped away, I'd never get on the damn plane. As it was, I didn't know how the hell I was going to make it to February without seeing her.

Each step I took away from her was torture. It felt like I was being torn in half, each footfall echoing loudly in my ears and only making my eyes water that much more.

I didn't even want to know what other people must've been thinking while they were looking at me. Hell, I didn't care if anyone recognized me at this point; nothing else mattered to me except for the fact that every inch of me fucking hurt.

I made it through security and walked down the terminal like a zombie, not looking up at anyone for longer than I had to and only saying a quick excuse me to the lady I was apparently sitting next to for the rest of the flight once I'd mechanically stored my bag in the overhead compartments.

I flopped into the seat, closing my eyes and resting my head in my hand, taking slow, deep breaths in an effort to ease the ache in my heart.

February. That's only two months from now, Edward. Two months and she'll be back in your arms and you won't feel like this anymore.

I swallowed hard, slowly opening my eyes to stare at the seat in front of me and drop my hand on the arm rest.

I could wait until February. Hell, I'd waited this long to find her to begin with. I was more than capable of waiting two more months to see her again.

Fuck, I'd wait forever for her. And two months out of that forever is completely doable.

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1 comments:

Unknown said...

so sad... two months is nothing though...unless you have Edward Cullen waiting for you

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